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A question for all of you newlyweds...

posted 2 years ago in Newlyweds
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    Samisomsam    March 13, 2010   Longview, WA

    I am REALLY enjoying my wedding planning. So much so, that my mother is worried I will be depressed after the wedding because I will have nothing to do. I think she is being silly, but I was just curious, what was it like for you after the wedding?

     
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    FutureMrsDuff    8/28/2009   Bloomington, MN

    From my personal experience, your mother's words have a bit of merit.

    I loved planning my wedding and after it was over, not being able to work on it any more was a bit of a disappointment. Of course there are still post-wedding things to focus on: thanks yous, taking care of the generous gifts, changing your name but they're not as much fun. :)

    One thing that helped me was picking up a hobby. I found out during the wedding process that I loved making jewelry (basically made jewelry of some form for every woman involved in the wedding) so I am keeping up with it.

     
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    amour toujour    May 15, 2009   Florida

    I wouldn't say I've gotten depressed about it, but I'm still on here 5 months later and I still have the wedding on my mind. Sometimes when I'm out shopping I'll see something and think wow - that'd be great for my wedding! And then I realize it's over and there's nothing I can change or add to it. But it was a great day and I just try to focus on all the positives. I'm also trying to get more into home decorating to focus on something else.

     
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    IA_Snowflake    August 29, 2009   Missouri Valley, IA

    Your focus will shift other places.  It has for me.  However I still stalk weddingbee like crazy.  I love giving advice to others and letting them know they're not alone.

     
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    jocelyn3476       New Jersey

    My focus has shifted to working on my house.  We didn't live together before the wedding, so being newly married carries a whole lot of new experiences that take the place of wedding planning.

     
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    KellyV    September 12, 2009   New York, NY

    im the same situation as snowflake above.  Not depressed, but love giving words of advice to others still planning!  And I LOOOOOOOOVED my planning. 

     
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    hcritton    09/06/09   Seattle, WA

    I started school again 2 weeks after I got married so for me I definitely didn't find myself with nothing to do. I really enjoyed my experience here so obviously I'm still around! I love my arts and crafts but towards the end, I couldn't drive by Michael's without giving it the evil eye. I definitely needed a break! I also think there's other weddingy things to do right after you get married to keep you going--you can make your album and scrapbook, thank you cards, etc.

     
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    ejs4y8    June 20, 2009  

    RELIEF! =]

     
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    MsHymanRoth    October 24, 2009   Boston

    I agree with Snowflake .. your attention will shift! I actually am having fun right now talking about my experience. I'm just now summing it all up ... day dreaming until I leave for the honeymoon in a couple days.

    I am sure I'll resume normal activities like before I got engaged.

     
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    Miss Chapstick    September 2009  

    I've heard that post-wedding depression is a real thing, but luckily I have yet to experience it. In actuality, it's made me a LOT happier! Toward the end of planning, I got to a point where I was just tired of everything, and wanted it to be over. My entire life was put on hold while we planned this wedding, and when I wasn't planning, I was exhausted. And I truly LOVED planning for the most part (I'm actually making a career out of it - but planning my own was just emotional, to say the least).

    When we came back from our honeymoon, I just felt so good. My husband and I kind of reconnected with our old selves, and enjoyed all the little things again, like our weeknight dinner traditions and taking a walk on a weekend with no place to be. Plus, we have so many things to look forward to, like our year of firsts (first Christmas/Thanksgiving as a married couple, etc), and after that, we have trips planned, taking days off for no reason but to stay in bed, dinner parties with friends, possibly buying a home, organzing our office space, etc.

    I still love weddingbee and other related sites, but I'm relieved to not be planning our wedding anymore :) I have a hunch you'll understand a couple months before your own wedding :)

     
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    naangel55    June 20, 2009   Long Beach, CA

    I wasnt depressed, but I definitely miss planning my wedding and having something to look forward to so much.  My husband hates it because I keep wanting to plan things and parties so I have some party to look forward to and I love planning!

     
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    Mrs. DG    July 18, 2009   Seattle/Tahoe

    I had a short funk... but life throws so many curve balls and there is so much to do that there isn't much time for depression.  I think part of the key is to not let yourself get there.  Throw that energy into your house, your relationship, your holiday parties!

     
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    goodbuddy      

    If you're like me, you'll love planning...

    ...get a bit frustrated by your own DIY expectations...

    ...get surprised by your own DIY accomplishments...

    ...get married (remember not to let it be a blur)...

    ...feel a bit of a slump afterwards...

    ...and finally revel in the relief that you had an amazing time. :)

     

    Good luck and congrats!

     
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    gloss    August 1, 2009   Boston/Maine

    My name is Mrs. Gloss and I have PWD.  I should/could write out my thank-you's and/or continue my recaps, but then once that is over thats it, my wedding is totally over - so yeah, I'm stalling.  Anyone want me to help them plan their wedding? :)

     
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    FutureMrsDuff    8/28/2009   Bloomington, MN

    Mrs. Gloss, I just <3 you. :)

     
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    Johnsbride09    7/3/2009   Northern Virginia

    I was soooo bored, and it didn't help that wedding planning was the only thing that got me through my day at my awful job.  I joined a gym and started taking yoga classes, then 2 of my 4 BMs got engaged, so I can be excited about their weddings now :)

     
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    Samisomsam    March 13, 2010   Longview, WA

    I can't see myself getting depressed (partially because FI won't let me) because FI and I will have our home to set up and I'm sure I can come up with projects. I have a silly mother. :)

     
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    Miss Marshmallow    August 1, 2009  

    No depression!!  I love being married and am much happier now than I was before.  While being engaged was fun and planning was fun for awhile, this is much better.  Then again, I got pretty tired of the planning at the end. 

     
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    Erindesmar    October 17, 2009   Boston, MA

    I don't miss planning...at all....but am bummed that the whole experience (build up, wedding, honeymoon) is over! 

     
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    bellenga    July 31, 2010   Georgia

    Encore bride here who can tell you straight!

    I had the huge wedding last time and I really enjoyed planning.  Afterward, what I did to fill that void was have parties.  I loved having them!  I threw several engagement parties for my friends, had couples' showers, and baby showers too!  I'd immersed myself in all this decor stuff, party ideas, learned some neat floral arranging and I didn't want to stop!

    I'd also invite my new neighbors over for a dinner now and then too.  The year after I married, I hosted a wedding reception in my home for my best guy friend in the world who fell in love and wanted to marry a girl in a foreign country.  That was so fun!  We had about 50 people at my house and it was gorgeous!  Alot of fun with decorating the backyard (rather formal too).

    So put it to good use!  You have entered a new phase of life and the skills you've learned in wedding planning are good ones for so many things!  Get creative!  Have fun!  And nest nest nest! 

     
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    PandasWifey    September 26, 2009   Denver, Colorado

    I think planning put a lot of stress on hubby and I's relationship, so I'm glad it's over. But I also have this big void of free time I used to spend planning, and like others, had to fill it with something else.

    I started painting one of our wedding portriats. That has kept most of my free time occupied so I don't sit around and think about it being OVER so much.

     
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    PandasWifey    September 26, 2009   Denver, Colorado

    P.S. Having a minimoon, and then a delayed honeymoon because we were broke worked out great for us. We just booked our tix to Australia/NZ in May 2010 and now I have that to look forward to :)

     
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    mskalinin    Sept. 12, 2009   North East

    I definitely felt relief when the wedding was over. For me, planning it was fun and all, but it felt more like it was monopolizing my time, rather than filling a void. Now I have gone back to hobbies that I neglected during the planning.

    We had a short engagement (5 months) of which only 4 months were filled with planning. So maybe that is different. I fyou have a long engagement, maybe you get more attached to your "idea" of the wedding or something. Plus, like Miss Chapstick, for about the last month I was just already over it and my husband took over for the most part.

    I'd say if you're loving it THAT much, you might want to structure some time after the wedding to kind of wean yourself haha. Have targets for things like sending the thank you's, making the album (if you're doing that), etc.

     
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    bluespurrs    August 7, 2009   South-central PA, USA, Earth

    I REALLY hated wedding planning, way too stressful! So glad it's over!

     
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    Jessie516    May 16, 2009   Ann Arbor, MI

    I don't think I was depressed exactly but I did feel a little weird to have so much free time on my hands!  There was also a litlte bit of a let down, knowing that after all that planning, the day had come and gone. 

     
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    realeastcoaster    July 11, 2009   Canada

    I don't entirely miss the planning, but I have moments where I see something and think I'd like to include it in the wedding, only to realize that the wedding is over.

    I also still like coming on here and seeing what everyone is doing (hence seeing things I love and want). It's a different experience being on here now without having the planning stress - I was a complete lurker before, and only left comments as a guest...I think after the wedding I wasn't ready to let planning go, and becoming a member and posting is weirdly helping with that. :S

    Maybe I'll be totally gone around 2015! lol 

     
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    budgetbeautiful    9/26/09   Fredericksburg, VA

    I don't miss planning in the least. I'm SO glad I have free time back! Part of me is sad that that super exciting time is over, with all the people I care about in one place, the excitement of the honeymoon, etc. But I felt so, so happy that our wedding was over. When we left our reception I told my husband "IT'S OVER AND WE NEVER HAVE TO DO THAT AGAIN!!"

    I still come to the WB boards and check in on my local board on the knot, but I'm done with all other wedding blogs now. I made sure to start looking around for nesting/hobbies blogs and sites before the wedding to make sure I'd have new websites to look at since the last year and a half I've been looking at mostly wedding planning websites.

     
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    northernazbride    August 1, 2009   Arizona

    I do not miss wedding planning one bit. But then again I found the whole planning process to be one stressful situation after another. I now feel nothing but relieved.

     
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    Erindesmar    October 17, 2009   Boston, MA

    I'm with a PP who said they felt like planning monopolized their time.  While I founds certain things fun, it was overall pretty overwhelming with an 11 month engagement, new job, home purchase, and move.  So I don't miss the act of planning...instead now I can focus on everything else I've been neglecting so much!  But, I do feel sad it's all over and that that chapter in our life is now closed.

     
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    DaisyBride    June 1, 2009  

    I enjoyed the planning but I was SO glad when it was all over.  I felt like a HUGE weight had been lifted off my shoulders.  Now we are focusing on our house and getting used to actually having a social life again!

    I do feel like I have changed with regards to planning stuff.  I have two girls who are pretty close to me that are recently engaged and I'm a little overly excited for them and I love hearing about their plans for the weddings!

     
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    rosychicklet    September 27, 2008   Boston, MA

    By the time I was married I was ready to be done planning.  I really relished having actual free time (instead of all my free time being spent plannin).  When we got back from our honeymoon I couldn't want to rid our apartment of everything having to do with the planning.

    I did stay really active on Weddingbee and with making our albums and doing all the photo stuff.  But overall, I didn't get any post-wedding blues.

     
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    MissAsB    June 6, 2009   Married in CO, Living in AL

    I'm glad that it is over with!  I have been keeping busy with school and getting our new place set.  I've been stalking weddingbee but not really interested in the planning stuff anymore.  Still like looking at people's pictures though!

     
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    LatteLove    June 19, 2009   Chicago/San Diego

    i had a little bit of a funk, but quickly threw myself into cooking, home decor, reading and all the things I enjoyed doing but was too busy for during wedding planning.  I definitely feel like married life is busier than engagement!

     
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    JenniBee44    September 12, 2009   Las Vegas

    LOL  This is a great post!

    I've gotten to the point where I want to do it all over again.  Depressed?  No.  Too much free time?  Yes. :D

    I'm doing crafting classes temporarily but next semester I'm going back to school.  If I can invest a ton of hours a week in my wedding I can do the same for my education.  Not nearly as fun as planning my wedding, but almost as rewarding.

     

    Congrats and good luck!

     
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    frenchbulldog    August 22, 2009   Dana Point, CA

    I just refocused my attention on something else... like my newlywed blog and cooking. I think I would be depressed/bored if I didn't have anything to do.

     
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    tenmylove    August 22, 2009   Wisconsin

    I will admit that I was pretty depressed post-wedding. I did a lot of DIY and enjoyed every minute of creating those little details - I really went all out, and without help, I can't believe I accomplished what I did.

    While things have started getting better (now just over 2 months after the wedding) I had the blues and missed it for a good 4-6 weeks afterwards.

    It is hard for me because we are still house hunting and until we find something I feel kind of stuck in a rut creatively. Once we find a house I know my focus will finally shift to designing, but since we are still in our duplex I don't feel like I can really go all out. I live in what was my DHs duplex so the house is decorated just as it was when I first moved in - sports memorabilia and huge TVs that don't fit in the bite sized rooms. I have lived here for 2 years and so much of my stuff is still sitting in boxes because we simply have no room!

     
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    808bride    October 10, 2009   Hawaii

    I had a lot of fun planning. Now I'm into putting away/organizing the wedding gifts, documenting wedding memories, filing and transferring wedding and mini-moon pics and then there is the honeymoon planning and the name change. Right now, it's tapering without the sense of urgency but still tons to do....I have the feeling of When is it going to end? :)

     

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