Post # 1
Wedding season is here, and so are the wedding posts. An old friend (who I have somewhat lost touch with over the years) has been posting things I find pretty irritating…
The first post that bugged me was a status update to let everyone on FB know that wedding invitations were in the mail. Is it just me, or is it probably not proper etiquette to pubically announce the mailing of your wedding invitations when you aren’t inviting 80% of the people who will see that status update? I wasn’t really expecting to be invited, but still…
Now that the wedding is closer, multiple times a day, she posts something wedding related: “up till 1 a.m. making center pieces!” “Lost another bridesmaid to drama!” “60 days and counting!” “Can’t wait to make it official!” “So stressed about this wedding right now!” The kicker is, she’s already married! Her husband is in the military so they did a courthouse wedding about a year ago. Part of me wants to just say, “Hey, it’s okay, don’t stress! You already have the most important part – your hsuband! This is really just a vow renewal.” I haven’t posted that though, because I don’t think she considers their marriage “official” without the wedding, and she’d probably never speak to me again.
Anyone else want to rant about facebook brides? I think I’m just going to hide her posts from my news feed for now.
Also, what does everyone think about a “wedding after the marriage”? Would you do it?
Post # 2
Some of those are cute and some are too much “60 days and counting” “up late making centerpieces” that is an excited girl.
However, you shouldn’t talk about invites unless all the FB friends are invited
Post # 3
I think facebook posts about weddings are rude, unless you’ve invited everyone on your friends list. Basically, I agree with your assessment, and would also hide her from my news feed.
Now, the wedding after the marriage thing — this gets contentious on here. I believe that you only get one wedding — where you say your vows. A reception can, and usually is, be held right afterwards to celebrate the wedding. After a year, though, I do agree that it’s a vow renewal. This topic, however, gets really heated on here, so I’m not going to go much further.
Post # 4
Starshollow: I very rarely post anything about my upcoming wedding because of this reason. Sometimes I really want to but I try and remember that it’s not ‘proper’. Although dammit, I am excited!
Post # 5
I didn’t post anything on my FB. I had no idea who I’d be inviting and who I wasn’t, so I just didn’t post anything. Plus than that way no one could comment on my wedding plans.
As for that marriage after the marriage …. sounds gift grabby to me most of the time. The only time I could see it would be if a parent was iill or someone was in the military.
Post # 6
I think the post about “lost another bridesmaid due to drama” is quite telling.
I’ve tried to keep my Facebook posts to a minimum and only post about things which are more to do with the marriage than the wedding (eg 100 days to go!) I agree with you about posting about sending invitations, etc.
Post # 7
- Wedding: March 2014 - A castle!
If her posts are annoying, then hide them. There’s no point in saying something that will hurt her feelings when you know she’s already stressed out. Just because she didn’t get a wedding doesn’t mean you should rain on her parade. If you don’t agree with what she’s doing, hide her from your newsfeed or unfriend her. Yeah, her posts are excessive, but I honestly think it is sweet when military couples who are married finally get to have a wedding.
Post # 8
Thanks bees, glad to know I’m not crazy!
I have other FB friends planning their weddings right now, and I enjoy seeing the occassional update about their countdown/plans. But a daily update on a wedding I’m not even invited to is too much for me.
Post # 9
- Wedding: October 2014 - Church
Starshollow: Agree with PP who suggested to hide her posts. While I agree that posting anything wedding-related on FB should be avoided (I guess I feel that those posts are not nice for people to see who are not invited to the Big Day), there is no reason why you have to see them. (Personally making a point of not posting anything on FB and keeping my Pinterest wedding-related boards hidden). I may do a vow renewal in like 30 years, but to each their own.
Post # 10
My feeling is this: If she wants to post a reminder about RSVP-ing on her Facebook, then she needs to use the friends filter option, and post so that only certain people, I.E., those that are invited, can see it. Is it still rude though? Absolutely. A more sensible approach would be to text, email, or call folks privately to remind them that her wedding is right around the corner and she wants to make sure everyone received invites.
The “lost another bridesmaid!” status update was also not the right thing to do. There could be many people who are friends with her in some way that may argue the post, side with the bridesmaid, or take it as their opportunity to let the ex-bridesmaid know that she is venting about it online.
I’ve been accused, (very recently perhaps, refer to my post
http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/long-post-my-apologies-in-advance-family-drama/#post-7476474 for more information) about being too open-mouthed on Facebook. I halfway agree with them, and even my fiance himself has told me I need to censor some of what I post about online. That being said, her wedding countdowns are just a source of happiness for her, and I believe she has every right to post that sorta stuff.
My best advice for you would be what others have suggested: Unsubscribe from her newsfeed. I wouldn’t completely unfriend her unless she really did something to offend you, and/or you simply don’t wish to be in contact anymore.
Post # 11
I just hide people’s posts that do this. Simple and I don’t have to see it.
Post # 12
Yes, they annoy the hell out of me too. I think along these lines — if you’re not inviting all of your facebook friends, you should not be talking about it.
Yes, announce your engagement and maybe a few things here and there, but non-stop wedding talk is not cool in my opinion.
I personally try to avoid it on my Facebook. And I hide/block people who annoy me with their updates, wedding related or not.
Post # 13
No need to be snarky about it. Just hide her from your feed. She and many, many, many others would vehemently disagree with your opinion.
Post # 14
Starshollow: Oh my goodness, yes yes YES! I have facebook friends who post non-stop. I’m not even talking a few brief updates, I’m talking play-by-play action of every wedding planning details. I typically unfriend and never look back. haha
Post # 15
I guess I just don’t see the big deal about posting it on FB but not every friend being invited. They are happy and excited so even if I am not there I’m in turn happy for them. It’s not the best etiquette but SO MUCH easier and also nicer to just be happy for people rather than sniping over a insignificant etiquette breech.