Post # 1
When I started dating my fiance I was 20 and he was 21. I had a child, I lived with my parents, and I was just a very non goal oriented person who drank and partied incredibly too much. Now that I am 24 I have changed a whole hell of a lot. I dont drink anymore (maybe a glass of wine every now and then), I am VERY goal oriented, we live on our own, and we are a family. My fiance is a blessing and I love him dearly. Ever since we started dating his friends have had a huge issue with me, and even once formed an intervention (yes, a freaking intervention) to break us up because I was over controlling and he spent too much time with me and not enough time with them. The fact of the matter is its not true. Okay, when we lived with his parents it was kind of true because I didnt like to be there alone. But now that we live on our own he goes out once a week if not more.
He has 3 of his best friends in the wedding 2 of which I adore and think are amazing friends to him and one who is just for all reasons an ass hole. He has always been incredibly rude to me and saying stuff like “the reason you dont have money is because your girlfriend is a drunk” and he was the one that orchastrated the “intervention” (both right in front of me)…Lately it has been facebook bashings….”F*ck you!” was put on my facebook after I said some not so favorable things myself so I just let that one go. Now just recently he put on my facebook after I was complaining of being sice for the 3rd time this month “Stop Complaining. Nobody Cares” I have never said a mean thing in my life to this man because it is not my place. When he makes remarks I ignore them when he is rude…I ignore it. I ignore everything that comes out of that assholes mouth. But then he was rude to my fiance all because we were sick for a few weeks. he said “Glad I got to see you for your birthday and before you left for your trip” with a sarcastic thumbs up thing. My fiance was really upset about it considering we have been sick and have been super busy getting ready for the work trip he is taking. he was rude in all of the replies and although my fiance put effort into seeing him before he left the groomsman declined. I am sick of this guy. Seriously sick of him. He is legitimately a douche. I have never seen a man of his age act like such a small child and I dont want him in the wedding. I dont want a guy that does not approve of our wedding in it. My fiance will not budge on the subject he has been friends with him since kindergarden and does not want to break a friendship over it but he also wont deal with the problem either.
What should we do in this situation? Am I over reacting?
Post # 2
Unfriend him on facebook for one- change your privacy settings so only friends can see pictures, posts etc (be sure to update so that “friends of friends” dont have access as well)
Then, just ignore the jerk! Your fiance should also grow a backbone and let his friend know comments about you are unwelcome.
This guy is never going to like you, but he loves getting under your skin. Dont sink to his level anymore- he will will have to give up when he sees you dont care what he thinks.
Post # 3
You should unfriend him on facebook, getting into facebook drama is childish. I can’t believe you haven’t unfriended him before now. It’s your responsiblity to end that portion of this, and not to create or respond to facebook drama.
I agree with the above poster that it is your FI’s responsibility to take charge of this situation and show you that you are a priority in his life. He doesn’t have to stop being friends with him, and the friend never has to like you, but the petty childishness has to stop, and it is your FI’s job to step up to the plate and end it. I would never tolerate one of my friends treating my FI in this way, and I know he would never tolerate it if one of his friends treated me poorly.
Post # 4
I actually just deleted him after the second time. He deleted his comment about 4 hours after it was posted and I ignored it completely. I dont let stuff like that create drama and I am not freaking out over it. I just simply told my fiance that if he is going to act like this I dont want him in my wedding. In addition to that my fiance sent him a text message saying “The way you speak to my fiancee is completely and utterly disrespectful it needs to stop. I would never talk to <insert his fiances name> that way and I expect the same respect.” the douche replied with “Bro, (yes he used the word bro…) I will do what I please. I dont like her or what she is doing to you…therefore I will speak to that chick the way I feel fit” (all of this like just happened)
Post # 5
So as of this week the man sent me a new friend request, I accepted (to not be rude) apologized to me. and explained his problem with me.
His message was short and sweet but also said stuff along the lines of rude still. He explained that I control my fiance (I dont…I really dont.) and that he has seen my fiance turn into a completely different person (he has changed alot but he is growing up.) and that he understands that I have a lot going on in my life and that I should not drag him down with me.
My reply was very short and to the point. “Thank you for the apology, I appreciate it, as for the other stuff that you shared with me. I thank you for your suggestions and will discuss this further with fiance, I am sorry that you feel that way but things change as people age and believe it or not he does not take orders from me. Again, thanks for your kind apologies and I hope we can move past your negativity towards me as I have nothing against you. Have a wonderful day.”