(Closed) A rant about wedding guest attire requests!

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1019 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

ouuuuf… I hear ya.
I have kind of the opposite problem. my Future Mother-In-Law is insisting on dressing like this is black tie….
Our dress code? no jeans/business casual.

I’d wear a cocktail dress.. that way it isn’t too bad.. and can kinda go both ways, you know?

Post # 4
3943 posts
Honey bee

@Meowkers:  Thats annoying! I think a lot of people don’t understand what black tie optional means anymore.

Post # 5
2401 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@Meowkers:  That is odd. I wouldn’t purchase a new outfit for it.

Post # 6
951 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Ooh, that’s a little crazy. I would feel like such a nincompoop wearing an evening gown and eating Mexican food in a simple banquet hall. It just doesn’t seem to work.

Post # 7
6256 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2014

Wow. Yeah, that’s really dumb. If you’re asking your guests to dress formally, you owe them a formal dinner, or at least cocktails and fancy hors d’oeuvres. That’s like telling people to wear swimsuits to your house, and when they get there, you have no pool.

IMO Sunday afternoon should be no more formal than what one would wear to a traditional church service–khakis and button-ups for the men, and cotton or lace dresses, not floor-length, for the ladies. If it’s at a country club or other high-class place, add a sportcoat for the men and maybe pumps and hats for the ladies, but certainly not things like sequins or tuxedos.

If you already have these things in your closet, though, just play along. She is the bride. She will realize the error of her ways when her pictures look ridiculous. For the record, I will be having the opposite problem at my wedding, but at least my guests will be comfortable and won’t have to buy new clothes on my account.

Post # 8
934 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Might be that she is dealing with a super casual group of people and she knows how they dress for occassions, so she is telling them to dress REALLY fancy, hoping to prompt them into at least business-casual wear. 

OR, she has no idea what is appropriate for occassions. 

Post # 11
5967 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

@Meowkers:  Hey guess what?  She can’t make you wear anything you don’t want to wear…and requesting that her guests break out their evening wear to trudge through a park in broad daylight looking like they just stepped out of Casino Royale for the unique priviledge of shuffling through a buffet line making their own burritos is the height of insanity…tea length dresses and dress shirts with blazers are the order of the day, if she kicks up a fuss say you must have missed that portion of the invitation and resorted to old reliable Emily Post rules, where time of day dictates dress code…after all she’s only been doing it for 100 years!

Post # 10
3357 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

mm I wear cocktail dresses to regular weddings, so I don’t see the problem with that. Floor-length to a park, however, is completely ridiculous.

Post # 12
2705 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Honestly, that would annoy me too – so you are not alone.  I think people get a bit confused when it comes to dress code and event status and forget that they conincide.  Dress code isn’t exclusive to cloths: it implies a certain type of event (and really should be dictated by the type of event).  So if the dress code is black-tie, I expect a black-tie event.  If it’s casual, I expect something along the lines of a backyard BBQ.

My guess is the bride just wants to make sure everyone dresses nicely and doesn’t show up in jeans and a t-shirt.  So I were you, I’d wear a nice yet simple cocktail dress and my H would wear dress pants, a nice shirt, and tie (he’d probably leave the jacket at home unless it was cold out). 

Post # 13
11752 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

haha I hear you on that one! It sounds like her event is semiformal at best!

Post # 14
658 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@Meowkers:  Wait, so she is getting married in a park in the winter and asking her guests to wear evening gowns? That doesn’t even make any sense. You will be dragging your dress through the snow. Plus, you will be wearing dress shoes so your going to freeze.

Post # 15
1202 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I think any dress from Forever 21 would be fine. lol. Some look formal, comfortable and inexpensive. But if I was having a formal event, I would go all out and have sit down dinner, wine, A-lister celebrity style. lol. So I know what you mean. I’ll feel like it was a waste to get so dressed up for an event like that. 

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