(Closed) A rant from a bridesmaid! Sorry have to vent!

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
190 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Oh my, this is ridiculous. Do not feel bad for not being able to attend. Explain your circumstance to your parents, and I’m sure you’ve explained it to your sister and move on. Ignore the snarky texts. I think most brides do not expect round the clock service from their bridesmaids. I’m not requiring mine to do one single thing for our wedding other than show up and be happy for us. The only people who are required to plan a wedding are the two people in it. That also goes for DIY stuff. If you want to DIY and save some money, then you should put in the time, don’t expect other people to do it but be appreciative if they help. Good gravy. I feel bad for you, but do what you can, keep living your life and this too shall pass.

Post # 4
Member
1282 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I second tealmarie.  Im not having my girls do a thing, but am glad to get their help when they offer (if they offer).  My MOH hasnt been offering much, and since I dont work now and have the time to do everything on my own I like it that way.  But I wish I had someone to talk to about some things and bounce ideas off of.  Its too bad that your sis cant recognize you would offer that.  But this is only one day, and you both will be sisters still long after the wedding!  I know plenty of brides have had to eat crow after their day was over and re build bridges they burned over one stinkin day!  Hang in there.

Post # 5
Member
3053 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

I say send her a copy of your schedule & tell her “If something falls between this time & this time, I cannot come. You have my schedule now & if I miss something because of work, it’s your fault.” She’s being a B*TCH & I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this! Don’t jeopardize your job over it!!

Post # 7
Member
1994 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Her expectations are absolutely outrageous!  Just hang in there, and after the wedding is over I’m sure most of the craziness will be like a distant memory.  Don’t jeporadize your job to help her pick out aisle decor, and just explain to her why you can’t be there.  Really she’ll just have to get over it. And if I were you, I probably wouldn’t talk to her friends at all about “why” you can’t make it to things.  Its not there business, and it’s not up for discussion with them.  And when they send snarky texts, you should tell them just that. 

Post # 8
Member
850 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@soontobemrsm11:  I second this too!  Honestly it is COMPELTELY UNREASONABLE to make bridesmaids adjust their life’s schedule especially you being in the medical field.  I hate to say this but your job is important and if you get fired or something along that line is it going to be worth it?  Tell her you’d love to be part of her wedding party but unfortuantely your schedue is fixed and non-negoitable but you’d be happy to help her out on the times you’re free.  On your schedule I’d add a few more hours for your travelling time 😉

Post # 9
Member
631 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I don’t think you are bring unreasonable, far from it. You should not be expected to jeopardize your credibility at work. In spite of the wedding you have responsibilities, plain and simple. Your job is your means of support and to put yourself on thin ice with your boss…no, no, no.

I am an older encore bride so I didn’t have bridesmaids. I do feel like every day there is a new thread on the boards with bride’s having issues with bridesmaids. I think your post illustrates that there needs to be a middle ground. I know every situation is different. Sometimes I think the explosion of the bridal industry, all the wedding shows, bridezilla, etc. has created unrealistic expectations and it’s easy to get caught up in it all.

Post # 10
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee

As a fellow night shift nurse, I empathize with you.  I second sending your sister a copy of your schedule and telling her that your available time is non-negotiable.

Her friends sound charming. :/  Best to ignore them.  You’re too busy saving lives to lower yourself to their childish behavior.

Post # 11
Member
8697 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

Aww, sorry about this!

This makes me happy I havent asked my bridesmaids to do one single thing! All these threads on here with issues and brides wanting their BMs to do 50 billion things are crazy.

I would ignore whatever her friends are saying.

Post # 13
Member
226 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@kansas_nurse:  I’m sorry. You should tell your sister that you have a lot on your plate. It’s not reasonable for her to do that to you or make you feel so awful! I have a bridesmaid states away and the only thing she is doing… (SIL to be) is walking down the aisle! I had to change my expectations for her bc its unreasonable to expect more from her. You should tell your sister to change her expectations for you. Its easier said than done. Just think it will all be over with too!

Post # 14
Member
1622 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@soontobemrsm11:  great idea!!!

OP, you are doing your best and don’t feel bad….you can’t be expected to risk your job for activities that you weren’t even consulted on before they were scheduled! Argh. Some brides are just so wrapped up in their own dream world that they have no idea that the world is still turning and not everyone is hyper-focused on their wedding like they are.

Sounds to me like there’s some history with your sister that may be playing a role in her bad attitude.  Honestly, if a sit-down, grown-up honest conversation won’t help then just give her your schedule and say, “Sis, I’d love to be at all these wedding events and activities, but I can only make it if it works for my schedule. I do need to work, after all, and can’t change my schedule once it’s set.”

Post # 15
Member
692 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

bridezilla much? 

Post # 16
Member
692 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

bridezilla much? 

 

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