Post # 1
So, two of my bridesmaids are driving me insane. Here is the back story. I gave all my bridesmaids two dress options, telling them I want an even number of both. Everyone decided on a dress (from J.Crew) and ordered it and I was happy. Now, two of them want to switch to the other dress. One, I’ll name her Sarah, texted me: we have to talk about the dresses. I think it is unflattering on me and “Bonnie” so we should all just wear the other dress.
Let me tell you that the reason it is unflattering is because it is too big and a 0 petite doesn’t really fit Bonnie. (I myself am a size 8 and don’t feel sorry for her 😉 They are complaining about having to have alterations even though I explained that that is part of being a bridesmaid and offered to pay the difference if their alterations come out way more than the other girls. Am I being a b*tch? What ever happened to bridesmaids doing what the bride wants??? If you are wondering the dresses they are the evie and arabelle from j.crew and I tried both on to make sure they were flattering. Thanks for reading, I had to get it off my chest
Post # 3
I don’t see what the big deal is, especially if it ends up that they’re all in the same dress. As long as they’re handling the returns and any costs involved, I would just let them switch their dresses.
While yes, it’s your wedding and you should have a say in what they wear, I also think it’s important to let your girls be comfortable and wear something they like. If allowing them to wear this other dress makes them feel better and they don’t have to get the dress altered, why not let them?
Post # 4
I wouldn’t argue with them about it. Inside I’d probably be annoyed, but I would definitely let it go. I’m the type of person who likes to avoid conflict, though. If buying the other dress is going to make them happy, why not? The last thing you want are cranky or unhappy bridesmaids.
Post # 5
My bridesmaids annoyed me a bit through the process, but I let it go. One bridesmaid hemmed her dress way to short and another’s was extremely tight. It’s not what I wanted, but in the end the big picture looked fine and my BMs were the ones who had to deal with people asking them why they did that to their dress. There are just way to many details associated with a wedding that these minor things honestly don’t matter as much in the end. My bridesmaids all had different looking dresses in the same color and it worked out wonderfully so don’t worry.
I know it’s easy for me to say this now that I am done my wedding and the planning process, but I really wished someone would have told me to stress way less over the details because it goes by in a flash and it’s the emotional stuff and the memories that count. My mom pointed out to me that no one can hardly even remember what her bridesmaids wore, but everyone remembered the wonderful speeches and the pretty church. Focus on the bigger picture and it will all work out wonderfully 🙂
Post # 6
@west.coast.blonde: This, completely. I agree with this.
Post # 7
I may be in the minority here but if I was asked to be a bridesmaid I would hope that I could just wear the dress off the rack and not have to pay additional for alterations. If the dress is too big on her it wont look great in the pics, I would rather she had a dress that fit right.
Post # 8
Thanks for calming me down ladies. One problem is that there is only one other girl with the dress that they don’t want and she is not the Maid/Matron of Honor and doesn’t want to switch so it would be weird if she was the only girl with that particular dress. It is impossible to please 7 bridesmaids! My point is that if someone has to make a sacrifice, why does it have to be the bride?
Also, the dress they don’t like happens to me my favorite of the two, which is why I am a little bias. Truth be told, I would rather them all wear that dress than the one they want to switch to. But, that’s what I get for giving them an option in the first place I guess. I have a big exam coming up and I tend to let minor wedding details stress me out during these times, lol.
Post # 9
Let them wear the dress they want and keep the Maid/Matron of Honor in the different dress. She is the Maid/Matron of Honor, she can wear a special dress from the same designer. In fact I think it would be a nice way to sort of let her shine.
If you don’t want to do this, be prepared for them to be unhappy, but try then and explain to them that you really want the look of miss-matched dresses and you would really appreciate if they could get the dresses they have altered.
Post # 10
@Rubies: she said the girl in the different dress is NOT the Maid/Matron of Honor.
Post # 11
@Lee_Ann: I apologize I shall read more closely next time.