Post # 1
Hello Bees. I’ve been perusing this website for a couple months, but today, I just feel the need to post (I mean, vent?) I know this is sort of long, and I super appreciate anyone who’s willing to help me out with a word of advice. Anyhow, back in November Mr P promised me that he would propose on or before this upcoming Valentines Day. (Lets hope for it not happening on that exact date…)
I kind of got my hopes up for Christmas… no luck. New Years, same thing. We’re going away to http://www.whenwordscountretreat.com this weekend courtesy of one of his design clients. From what I’ve been told… it will be uneventful (he mentioned football playoffs and bringing his laptop, and that was my indicator that its not gonna happen this weekend either)
So I guess what I’m getting at is… I dropped him a hint (liquid courage at a christmas party) about what I would like in a ring. He was really receptive. Since then, I haven’t heard a word. I know he doesn’t have a ring, and to my knowledge hasn’t even made any attempt to look at them. I’m worried it’s not going to happen. And its not about the ring. It’s about the fact that he made a promise, and what does that say if he can’t keep it.
I have three little lovelies (ages 6, 5, and 4) from my first marriage, so the pressure is even a little greater. But with them to think about, I can’t just sit on a relationship for years waiting for something to happen. We’re coming up on our two year anniversary.
So, bees… I feel like I’m losing it. Words of encouragement? I’m kind of feeling like I’m on a downward spiral over the whole thing. (Darn subzero weather keeping me inside today. yuck)
Post # 3
My SO hasn’t proposed yet…I just wanted to say sorry you’ve had a bad waiting day. They happen to us all. The best advice I’ve had from the bee for those kind of days is do something for yourself.
- Paint your nails
- Have a coffee and chat with a friend
- Bubble bath
- Go shopping
Hope tomorrow is a brighter day.
Post # 4
@MsBaker: Well my SO hasn’t proposed yet, but I know how sometimes you just have a bad day waiting. Maybe he is trying to throw you off so he can surprise you. I know it’s hard not to think about it, but it will come when you least expect it. I’m sorry you’re having a bad day 🙁 I agree with Soon2BD-CBee, Those are some of my favorite things to do when I’m done. Take some time and do something nice for yourself or something you really enjoy. That always lifts my spirits. Hope tomorrow is better for you!
Post # 5
My So has tried three times to propose to me since Thanksgiving. His plans have fallen through everytime. Waiting gets harder everyday.
But at the end of the day your just waiting. It’s not the best advice but it’s what gets me through my bad waiting days. You’re over the step of finding a great guy, and your in a relationship. You must love him if you want to marry him.
Post # 6
@Batsygirl: You make a very good point. He is great. I love him and my children love him. I guess I just need to be patient. I can’t help but be nervous. (I was never proposed to the first time around…)
Post # 7
have you considered a walk date? some women feel more comfortable having a date in thier head and knowing if he doesn’t propose by then, you’ll walk. it may not work for you but it’s an option ive seen a lot of waiting bees use that makes them feel like the pressure is off until that date.
Post # 8
@bbsoon2be: I have considered one, and I sort of have one. Mr P promised a Pre-Valentines Day proposal, and we had plans to move in together (into my place) this upcoming fall. I made it very clear to him (due to the fact that I am a mom first) that a) I needed to know what would happen to my lease which is up in September if he plans to move in here, and that b) the only way he was going to move in was if I was more than his girlfriend.
He also knows that i am adamant against like an august proposal, because that just seems like a means to an end (proposing so he can move in and have a live-in housekeeper). This is why he gave me the promise about February. But I still doubt its validity.
Post # 9
@MsBaker: Ugh. Hugs to you! I’m sorry!! Good for you for putting your foot down and being a good momma first! 🙂
If I were you I would keep a quiet date in my head and just let him do his thing.. I don’t think you would want him to propose if he was doing it out of pressure, you know?
Post # 10
Well…for some optimism…
Last year at this time my boyfriend had mentioned that he wanted to propose before Christmas, but due to an unexpected trip we had to take in November, he did not have the money. So I knew it would be soon….and I paid very close attention to his spending habits…hopeing to get a clue as to when he was really broke due to a ring purchase. Then one day he suprised me…completely…considering I knew the ring he was getting took about 8 weeks to get in. So even though you may not think he has a ring…it may be hiding away somewhere to surprise you.
Post # 11
I would say just try to forget about it, it’s not February yet! Just hold out a little longer and then re-evaluate. I think cos you’re having a bad day, it’s throwing a negative light on everything and it just may not be the case. So my advice is, chin up and best foot forward, February will be here before you know it and hopefully it will bring a wonderful proposal with it!!
I’m also holding on to a grain of hope for Feb -it was our original timeline but he told me the other day not to expect anything. Still can’t help retain a tiny bit of hope although I’m probably going up be very disappointed!
Anyway, I hope it happens for you very very soon!