(Closed) A Serbian Orthodox/Unitarian Wedding :-O

posted 7 years ago in Interfaith
Post # 3
333 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@Cmt83:My fiance is from Serbia and even though he isn’t part of any Serbian church in our area I can understand what you’re saying completely.  We’re planning on playing some serbian music at our reception but we’re going to have our wedding be things WE like.  Because its OUR wedding, we won’t be serving any serbian food, we’re serving food that we like to eat because even though we’re hosting 100+ people, its still our day.  I also run into his mother and cousin being very old school and I get looked at like I’m insane because I’ll be wearing red shoes and I paid more than $99 for my wedding gown.  It’s a no win situation but as long as the two of you are the happy ones in the end then it doesn’t matter what everyone else thinks or wants you to do.  My mom and dad are paying for most of our wedding but they’ve also pointed out its OUR wedding and they’ve already had their own.

Post # 4
1025 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Do you think the Serbian church will let you marry outside? I’m Catholic and the Catholic Church generally doesn’t, so I wouldn’t be surprised if you couldn’t have an Orthodox wedding outside.

Is your family not excited about the idea because the Unitarian church is free/easy, or is it deeper than that? If its just logistics, then you probably can convince them of how important it is to you to have it at the Orthodox church, but if its deeper than that, you might need to start planting those seeds earlier.

Post # 5
126 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

Well…you have to understand that for an Orthodox person, the faith and the lifestyle are one and the same. Devout Orthodox people cannot compromise on the church end of things, because for us there is only one place that our faith will honor a wedding ceremony – in an Orthodox church with an Orthodox priest. If an Orthodox man married a non-Orthodox woman in a non-Orthodox church, none of the family members or parishioners of the Orthodox church would consider that marriage ‘valid’ until the couple came to the Orthodox church for a marriage blessing after the fact.

I’m not saying this to to offend you but rather to explain that this is how interfaith marriage is perceived from the Orthodox perspective. Until you are married in our church you are considered to be living in sin. That’s why it’s so important to his family to have an Orthodox service.

I suggest you watch My Big Fat Greek Wedding. Although it’s meant to be funny, it does sum up your fiancé’s side of things and the family pressures you and he were feeling during your wedding planning, from the Greek Orthodox perspective (which is parallel to the Serbian, Russian, Ukrainian, Antiochian, etc. perspectives).

My boyfriend and I have been together 10 years and while I am Russian Orthodox he is agnostic…and he is only just starting to understand how deep the religious and cultural traditions go with my family. All I can say is, his family can plan the reception to death, but they will have little to no say about the religious side of things because there is no budging for our people. 

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