Weddingbee Boards
I've been seeing a lot of posts lately about FMILs and FFILs that are being absolutely awful toward the bride, the couple, or the wedding in general.
So first off, that really sucks, and I'm really sorry that it's being that way. I hope you're able to all be friends or at least come to terms before the wedding. I'm not trying to boast or gloat with this post.
Now what I'd like to say is: I love my future in-laws. They're wonderful. They welcomed me in to their family with open arms from day one. FMIL has a lot of great ideas and opinions for our wedding and has been very generous and helpful in any planning I'm doing. FFIL isn't as involved in WEDDING stuff, but he's still a great guy. They also help us in lots of other ways; they looked at houses with us (we're n00bs) and they're going to help us move, and FMIL is going to help me do some painting. She and I are even going to go wedding-shopping together one of these days too in a bigger city. My (beloved) mom doesn't live near by, so it's nice to get some face time with *A* mom once in a while. It comforts Mr. Mary Jane and I to know that they are both very supportive of our marriage.
Am I alone here, or are there some of you here who have great In Laws too? Leave them a shout out below! What have they done for you? With you? Why do you love them?
I get along with my FIL great!! His mom and I are super close! And he comes from a family with 5 boys~yep, that's right, 5 boys. Talk about one tough momma!! :) They're both awesome~I'm very fortunate to get along so well with them.
I said they're ok/tolerable, but my answer would have been "like my own family" before the wedding craziness began. My fmil is upset that we won't invite 20 of her coworkers (with spouses it would be 40+ people) and I hear about it every time I see her. However, they are loving and kind to me and nowhere near as terrible as some of the horror stories on here.
I always feel so bad for the people who have to put up with such horrific inlaws! Too bad those of us with good ones can't rent ours out or something, hah
I seriously feel like I hit the in-laws jackpot -- my FI has two younger sisters that are roughly the same age as my own. We get along REALLY well. His mom is a total sweetheart to me and I really enjoy spending time with her, her sisters, and his grandma. His stepdad is great too (his dad passed away a long time ago) and one of the absolute nicest men ever. My FI's whole family - his mom's side, dad's side, step-dad's side - are all just really close and really welcoming. When we first started dating, his mom sewed me the most beautiful quilt I've ever had! It had barely been a year of dating. And his family always tells him how excited they are to have me around. Just makes me feel really well loved. We haven't ever had any issues with them and they're all just SUPER excited for our wedding. My FI isn't getting too bad of a deal either -- my dad's side is the only one we hang out with, but it's HUGE (Irish Catholics) and we're all super tight. They all love my FI as much as they love me and are, of course, incredibly supportive. No drama, ever, on either ends of our families. Everybody is probably way too midwest for conflict, haha.
Ok, gushing too much. :) I'm very happy with our family situations.
My FMIL is wonderful. I am so grateful to have her a part of our lives and a part of our wedding. I wish her and her hubby lived closer though so that I can include her more in the planning. With the power of the internet and email I send her details often.
Unfortunately, my relationship with my FFIL is not great. I just tolerate him because I have to and because he lives with my FI and I (due to medical reasons). He has done a lot of bad things in his past. So much so that it is very hard to overlook. It doesn't help that he continues to lie and BS about my FI and I to his family. Pretty disappointing because I had always hoped that I would have a great relationship with father of the man I was going to marry. Oh well.
I love my FIL's as well. My FFIL has been more of a dad to me in the past 3.5 years than my dad has been during all 23 years of my life. My FMIL and I also get along great. I was so scared to meet her, though, and she definitely jokingly gave me a hard time during our first meeting. I think his parents were just so happy to see him finally settle down with a good girl. He was a bit wild for most of his college years, so I definitely helped in toning it down as he was preparing to graduate. I met his parents before we were even "officially" boyfriend/girlfriend. I think this helped with things. Also, I'm lucky to have never had a fight or disagreement with his parents. Hopefully it stays that way, but if something were to happen I know we would resolve it like adults.
I think part of the reason we get along so well is because we see each other a lot. Our hometowns are only an hour away from each other so we're able to split holidays easily. He also had to move home for about 6 months so I spent A LOT of time there. We've seen some hard times (FMIL's father's death, deaths of close friends, etc) so that brought us even closer. Whenever I read about some one having FIL trouble I always think about how I've really hit the in-law lottery. This is a great thread, MJ. Cool in-laws definitely deserve a shout out!
I'm in the Wonderful In Laws Club too! LOVE EM! FI's whole family has accepted and welcomed me! It's great because they have big family events where each side gets together and I love it because I don't have a large extended family that gets together. They're also all excited for our wedding which is nice b/c my family doesn't talk much and nobody mentions the wedding :(
I have also hit the FMIL and FFIL jackpot. They are wonderful, easy going people that were totally welcoming from day one. I'm really going to try to remember that when the day comes (very far in the future!!) that my son or daughter brings home their honey. I feel so bad for all of these brides that are dealing with such crazy situations with their future in-laws, and feel really fortunate that mine are so cool about everything. I can't even imagine how stressful that would be!!
I love my future in-laws! They are sometimes more fun than my own family!
I love my FILs too! Mr. Beagle comes from a great family and I love them like they were my own and can't wait to become a member of the family! We live with FBIL Beagle and I am so lucky/blessed that we all get along so well and it hasn't been a problem at all (I was a little worried about moving into a house with boys).
I'd rather hang out with my FFIL and FSMIL than my own parents, LOL. I haven't met or talked to my FMIL yet, but she sounds nice, and I'll be calling her this weekend! {crosses fingers}
I won. My new family is teh awesome! I can't express to you how sweet and loving and thoughtful they are. I don't know how I got so lucky, but I suppose I paid my karmic dues with some very awful boyfriend parents in the past...
I'm glad you gave so many categories to respond to.
I'm not really sure how I feel about my in-laws. I've only seen them a few times (3 for my FFIL and maybe 6 or 7 for FMIL), because I live in Chicago and they live in San Diego. We haven't had any major issues, but I am veryclose and connected with my family and I've found it hard to really find a connection or common ground with them. After the wedding, we're going to live about 10 mintues away from them. My FMIL doesn't have any daughters, and I'm really hoping we can make a mom/daughter connection as I'll be quite lonely for my family, and I'm sure she's sick of living in a house full of boys!
time will only tell.
Ipicked other. My FMIL and FFIL are complete sweetharts. I actually enojy spending time with them more than some of FI's friends :). That being said, I definitely would not say they are like family to me ...yet nor would I say that I think of them more highly than my own family. They are lovely people. My FBIL and FSIL (FBIL's wife) are nice, but I would not say that I totally jive with them. We don't have much in common and I only see and talk to them when I go to FI's home state. I feel very lucky though to be marrying into a nice family (i'll keep my fingers crossed that it stays this way).
Mr. Zee actually proposed to me before ever introducing me to his parents, and only four months after we started dating.
I know they had their doubts at the beginning, but they both put those aside and welcomed me anyway, and almost nine months into the engagement I can say that they have treated me like their own daughter. I'm not as close to them as I am with my own parents, but I have a really great relationship with my parents and I've known them for my whole life. I think in time I'll be just as close to Mr. Zee's.
In addition to that, his brother and sister have become two of my best friends. It is pretty much ideal.
You guys are so lucky. :( I can't stand my inlaws. They showed no interest in me when we were dating and after 3 1/2 years I bet they probably couldn't even tell you where I work or what I do. During the wedding planning process they showed zero interest in the wedding except for disapproval. Now that we're married the insist I call them mom and pops but I can't even bring myself to that. They ignore me when we visit but complain when we don't come over enough. It's awful when we go over and ruins my whole day. I could go on for hours about the stories and horrors, I'll just leave it at I'm supremely jealous of all of you with good in laws!!!
@LatteLove - My FMIL has no daughters either, so I'm striving for the same! :)
I'm so glad to see that lots of us have great in-laws!
I love my FIL...I think I like hanging out with them more than my own family...they are so generous, they are paying for our photographer and our honeymoon, and I'm sure that wont be all they pay for because our wedding is almost 2 years away...I love them so much, my family gets jealous that we do so much with them. My FMIL and I are really close, closer than me and my own mother are. I have never gotten along with my own mother. I just love them...
I love my FIL's! They are the nicest, sweetest people. And not just the immediate family either. The extended family-aunts, uncles, cousins are great too! Most of my family is at least 45 minutes to 1 1/2 hours away but all of my futire in-laws are pretty close by so it makes it nice to have some family nearby.
My FIL situation is interesting. When the Mr. & I first started dating they loved me. Thought I was great. However about 13 months into our relationship we got engaged. And they freaked out. The Mr.'s mom just kept going on and on about how her son was leaving her. The Mr. even told me about some very heated arguements between his parents and himself. At one point, my FMIL stated she didn't want anything to do with the wedding. Which really upset me.
The Mr. thinks that his mom is coming around, and myself & the FILs are able to be polite to each other. The Mr's mom is begining to get a bit more interested in wedding stuff, so I guess we shall see. I would like to have a realtionship with her, but I guess time will tell.
My mom has a similar situation with her MIL, and said that it only took 30 yrs for my dad's mom to really warm up to her. She suggests just giving it time.
my FIL & MIL are good honest hard working people and they raised a wonderful son that they are proud of... but thats the limit of my emotions towards them.
i respect them as my husbands parents but thats about it - we have zero in common, im not a extended family type of person and my independence freaks her out... alot
but they are both good people
I have some issues with my fiance's parents. Not as many as he does with them, just a couple nagging things. His mother is very controlling...it doesn't usually get to me, but a couple times it has just either made my fiance an emotional wreck (when she told him he couldn't see me without a chaperone a few months into dating because the visiting pastor had told her that teenagers basically have no self control and that I'd end up pregnant -- we weren't even having sex yet) or just infuriated me (just recently she would NOT allow my fiance to switch banks, because she has some vendetta against the bank he was going to switch to; it's also MY bank, and she told him that I should switch to THEIR bank, which my fiance hates).
BUT. They are fairly nice people. His mom is for the most part really nice, and his dad is hardly ever there (but is pretty nice when he is). =) So, while we DO have issues, it's nothing that I can't handle. However, I don't see those issues going away any time soon. But I also don't see them affecting our life/wedding too much.
I selected other because if it were an option, I would have selected "They're wonderful- not quite my like my own family, but almost." I definitely got really lucky by how they have welcomed me into their family with open arms. I feel really comfortable with them, and they're both great. The extended family is awesome as well. Thank the lord- I've heard some horror stories, that's for sure! My only qualm is that they baby my fi (who is 32) and try to do so much for him. I can't wait to move at least a half hour away from them so we have a bit more independence.
All in all though they are fabulous! I'm sorry to anyone who doesn't have good in-laws :(
My former mother-in-law died a few days ago, and my former father-in-law is currently in hospice care. I am incredibly saddened by this. Even when my ex-husband and I divorced, my mother-in-law took me aside and said, "You've been our daughter for 20 years, and as far as I'm concerned, you still are." When she got Alzheimer's, I went on visiting her for as long as she continued to recognize me in any way. Long after she forgot my name and my relationship to her (she told people I was her older sister, which was pretty funny, given that she was over 80 at the time!), she would still brighten up when I came to visit. My own family was incredibly dysfunctional (to put it mildly!), and my in-laws were the good parents I never had. My ex still jokes that somehow, I managed to get his parents and he got mine in the divorce.
So, if you've got great in-laws, appreciate them!
@2dBride: I am so sorry!! 
hugs to you
I feel extremely blessed by my future-in-law’s, they have being so supportive and welcoming with me
I voted that they were like my own family, but the truth is that sometimes they're better! :-P I feel like the luckiest person in the world to have such a great future family. It's nice to see that others feel the same way!
Okay, I'm sure some of you have read where I've stated that FI's parents are divorced; his mom ("Freda") remarried. FI was about 13 maybe; He and his step-dad both wanted to be man of the house, and they butt heads. FI moved out at the age of 16, and moved in with his mom's sister (we'll call her Wilma). FI's little sister followed soon after. Wilma and her husband took on raising FI and his sister. (you could watch home videos and tell who the "parents" are.) Wilma and her DH are pretty much "mom & dad"
When FI and I first started dating, I hadn't seen much of Wilma. She worked 3pm - 11pm. I would be gone before she got home. I would always be me, FI, his sister, and his uncle at the house. I grew to just love his uncle. And I love his sister. When his aunt finally started working days, I felt as if she hated me. Resented me because I was taking her "little boy" away. (Wilma and her husband have no kids together) She acted like I was just "a fling" and that he would be over me soon. It continued to get worse. When he would get ready to come pick me up to go out, she'd fuss and try to find something for him to do. Rain or shine! He finally got fed up and decided to move out (like 500 yards away!) She felt bad, and talked to him before he moved. She said that she did like me, but she felt that I hated her. She tried to explain to him that when he's on his own, that bills come first and that we wouldn't be able to afford to go out as much. He told her "She's not that type of girl. She don't care much for material things. And you won't keep her away from me." (And I don't; I'm just as happy doing stuff at the house, as long as I'm with him) I think she understood then that I wasn't just "some girlfriend".
It really was getting to me. Wilma and I would butt heads without even trying. And though we never said much to each other, the tension was there. I would get so upset and cry about it, because I really wanted her to like me, and I would try so hard! But it was after FI moved out (again only 500 feet away) Did the two of us start getting along much better. It was more of a mis-understanding between the two of us. And since FI and I got engaged last December, it's been even better between me and her.
And as for his Mom and step-dad, they all get along now. FI tries to take one or two days a week to spend time with his step-dad. They are big buddies now. And the two of them have always adored me. And they aren't even around me that much. But FI's daddy....I can't bring myself to be anything with him. He's what we call a major "burn out". He missed his own daughter's graduation this year because he was worried about the money that he wont get back from the child support that Wilma got from him (he signed over everything to FI's aunt and uncle.
But as of right now, FI's aunt and uncle will be my mother & father in law. His mother will be my mother in law too, but I don't have a bond with her. Wilma & her DH already refer to me their daughter-n-law! And I love them.
I'm done rambling! LOL!
I'm so thankful for my FILs! I genuinely enjoy spending time with them and wish we could see them more! :)
Mine are great, but I wouldn't trade them for my own family ;-)
There are things I don't like about them, but from other experiences I heard from friends, mine are GREAT comparabley :)
My in-laws are great! We all get along, I love them and they love me :) I have always felt like part of their family and now I really am. They live only about 20 minutes away so we see them more than my family (who live about 45 min away)
I love his mom and grandparents. She is the sweetest person and so enthusiastic about having me join the family and constantly tells me so. I consider myself incredibly lucky.
I really love my fiance's family.. I was so scared because they are british I was expecting Queen Elizabeth like mannerisms
they are so nice to me..my mom said give it more time lol
me and the FMIL have had our ups and downs over the years over some family issues but all in all were pretty close. I love my FFIL he is amazing! I love him to death!
I really love my FILS. They're great people. My FMIL only has sons, so I know she's thrilled with gaining a daughter! They are different than my parents in that they're more conservative and a bit more religious, but it's not off-putting at all.
His brothers? Well, the youngest one is in the Navy and I met him for about five minutes. I won't see him again until the wedding. His middle brother I'm not that fond of for reasons I won't get it into on the internet. That said, it's my FILS that I see the most, so it doesn't really matter if I like/get along with his brothers, I don't have to see them often enough for it to be an issue.
@2dbride: I'm so sorry for your loss. :(
I love my future in-laws and I'm so glad and thankful they like me too. All of my grandparents are gone now and I have a very small and scattered family, so I love that I get to join a big, friendly family in addition to my own, especially since I live at least 2.5 hours away from my closest relatives and Mr. Spin's family is all pretty close by. (whew, run on sentence time! ^_^)
I really love my future in-laws. They're very different from my family and also different from me, but I feel at home with them. They've always made me feel included, especially my future mother-in-law, who sends emails, cards, and gifts to show she cares. Most importantly,they are very supportive of our relationship and recognize how important it is to us. I feel really lucky!
My in-laws are great, but I feel that they are having a hard time accepting that their first-born is now a grown man. When we go home to visit, they'll try to tell him to shave, cut his hair, wear something different, go visit this person or that person, etc. He was going on a work trip to Europe and his mother even asked me to help him pack because she was "worried he wouldn't do it properly by himself." The thing is, my boyfriend is extremely independent and very capable of taking care of himself! It's one of the things that I love about him - I don't need to be his "new mommy," so to speak. But he hasn't lived with them in about 5 years, so perhaps they haven't realized this. There have also been times when his mother has been rude to me when we've tried to spend a more even amount of time with my family - we currently spend way more time with his family than with mine.
My point is, I think they are wonderful people, and they treat me very well - but I am worried that as our relationship progresses even further (we're almost at the 3.5 year mark already), they may struggle to deal with the fact that he is an adult and his life is his own.
They are not my in-laws (b/c their son and I broke up but are still close friends) but my ex's family is wonderful and still treats me like I am part of their family. I would have loved to "officially" become part of the fam but it just didn't work out. So relieved that all the love is still here, though! 
they are great!! I really lucked out. MIL is amazing! When I was planning , if i had any problems I'd go to her before I went to my mom. Not that my mom doesn't care but she has a really full plate. I had a situation where a vendor made me cry. I had spoke with the main bake a week before and they said they could make my cake (topsy turvy) but i had to talk to the party planner woman. She was rude! she was late , lost the photo I had brought in , when i showed her the copy i had said flat out they would not make it , even though the baker said they could. I called MIL in tears because the woman was REALLY ruse about the whole thing. She marched into the manager on her lunch break and let them have a piece of her mind.
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