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No, if your parents aren't pressuring you to invite her and you're not interested in repairing your relationship with her, I don't think you have to invite her. I'm surprised you accepted her request on Facebook, though. ;) You can tell her where you're registered if you just want to respond to her, but you aren't obligated to send her an invite any more than she is obligated to give you a gift.
I'm strongly considering not inviting my own sister, to whom I haven't spoken in years. So, I'm probably not the best person to ask :) If I were in your shoes, I wouldn't invite her. But I'd also be comfortable with the fact that not inviting her would almost definitely sever ties with her forever. My friends are the family I've chosen, and they are what's most important to me.
Hmm, I think this would actually depend on the size of your wedding. If you're planning a small, intimate wedding (under 50 people) then you could easiy get away with excluding her by saying the wedding is, "Just immediate family and close friends only." However, if you invite more than 50 people, she is family, and it wouldn't be worth the headaches it may cause to not invite her. Trust me on this one.
There were definitely people I really didn't want to invite to our wedding, but did to keep the peace. I mean, people who have openly disrespected my husband and I and don't have much of a relationship with. In the end, on the actual day, I didn't even notice those people were there. We had 73 guests total.
This is really only a call you can make :( Just remember, it always works out. Good luck!
Yolu're not obligated to invite her. However, my mom only has one sister so I couldn't imagine NOT inviting my aunt. What's your mom say about inviting her? If mom says yes, i probably would.
But, you can always come up with a nice, firm response that implies you're having a small, intimate wedding, but you appreciate the sentiment regarding the gift. That pretty much implies "hey you aren't invited"
I guess it depends on your family dynamic. In our families, aunts and uncles are totally definitely an "in".
My mom's two younger sisters don't talk to her after a falling out, and I've only talked to her parents once since I was 11. None of them will be invited to the wedding. I don't really know them, they don't care to know us, and having them at the wedding would just be uncomfortable.
If you're comfortable enough discussing it with your mom, I would. I told my mom I would not be inviting her sisters or their families, but if she wanted I would invite her parents. She said she didn't care if they were there so they are not invited either. I think this is a hard situation for people to understand when they have not had major problems with extended family.
On the other hand, my fiance's aunt had a very recent falling out with his other aunts and dad, but he wished for them to still be at the wedding, so we're inviting them. This doesn't seem to be the case for you though!
Defriend her on facebook and then block her so she can't see any further posts from you or see that you even have a facebook account. That will help in the meantime.
You might also mention that you are planning to have a small wedding (regardless of whether you are or not) and that numbers are very tight. Or you could just ignore and do the blocking thing. I know this may sound rude, but it may at least get you out of an awkward converation. Good luck!
Thanks for the inuput guys - I think I might just block her on Facebook. I didn't even really want to be friends with her in the firstplace, but she reached out to me, so I thought perhaps she had changed (but apparently not!)
I don't think my mom would care if I didn't invite her - I might run it by her just in case. Our wedding is smaller (60 people) so I think if she gets upset I might just say its close friends and family.
Thanks again bees - the hive always seems to have the answers :)
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Okay, so here is the scoop. My aunt and uncle have not been involved in my life for many, many years. They both frequently argue with my mother and even though we visited them quite a bit when I was younger, when I was older we stopped. For mnay years, my aunt and uncle didn't even speak to my mother. Finally when I went to university in their hometown (and coincidentally the city where my venue is located) I tried to patch things up with them becuase they were so close by. We tried to have dinner at their house, but my uncle would not come to pick me up (I was a poor student, had no car, and they lived in the suburbs that were certainly not transit accessible). Then they called ME a snob for never visiting them! I just about had it and decided they weren't worth the trouble.
Fast forward to now - my aunt adds me on Facebook and starts asking me about our wedding. After making a few snide remarks about how we are not having a Catholic ceremony (my fiance and I are relatively secular, non-religious folks, but I was raised Catholic), she then sends me several messages asking about sheets and what colors we like and what size our bed is.
SOOOO to make a long story short (just giving some background info here), I think she thinks she is getting an invite to my wedding when I feel really strongly about only having close friends and family there. She just sent me another message about sheets. Should I invite her and suck it up? I don't really want to accept a gift without inviting her, but I don't want her negative attitude to cause a ruckus on our wedding day.
THANKS for listening!