Post # 1
Hi Bees –
My SO and I have been custom designing our engagement ring with the intention to purchase an oval moissanite stone. At first I really wanted a diamond, but it just wouldn’t work in our budget. I felt that having the setting of my dreams was most important and that perhaps in the future if I still wanted a diamond, we could upgrade.
Out of nowhere, his mom offered us the diamond that his dad used to propose. I don’t know much about size/quality, just that it is pear shaped (which isn’t what I wanted at first, but still very beautiful). I have a great realtionship with his family and his parents, I feel so honored that she offered the stone to us.
My SO is the oldest of 4, 2 boys and 2 girls. I am wondering if it’s okay for me to have this stone. Would his other siblings want it? His mom has two other stones from two other significant realtionships but I still feel as though I might be taking something that isn’t mine.
Anyone else get a stone from SO’s mom?
Post # 3
That is so awesome. She wouldn’t have offered the stone if she didn’t want you to have it. I think that’s really special and says that she wants you to be part of the family. And I’m sure she thought of the sibs before offering the stone so don’t stress about them.
My e-ring is using my greatgrandmother’s center stone, which I inherited from my mother. But the setting is from my fiance’s grandmother’s e-ring. He actually bought the ring from his mom (she offered the ring, he offered to pay and his family is very practical). I asked the same questions because he has two brothers but my fiance assures me that it isn’t an issue. Apparently one of his brothers bought a ring years ago but never asked the girl so he’s still got it sitting around somewhere. And we’re the first to get engaged. I was a bit nervous showing her the new combined ring for the first time since we had to change around the original setting a bit to accomodate my center stone, but she thought it was beautiful and sentimental. Heirloom rings are awesome!
Post # 4
@pinkpre: Congrats on ur soon-to-come engagement & wedding!
I also received my engagement diamond from my Mother-In-Law. Just like u, we didn’t see it coming bcuz my in-laws lived in another country. My then Fiance & I went shopping & tried to choose the right e-ring, at that time I kind of had my heart set on a princess cut bcuz so many ppl own Ring Bearer diamond. I remember my husband just got tired of looking at rings after a few trips to different jewelers, he just simply gave me a budget (pretty generous too!) and let me choose whatever I liked.
Anyway, before I could decide, my in-laws arrived 2weeks prior to our engagement party, and BOOM~ she had with her a 1.30ct Ring Bearer diamond E/VVS2 that she picked out in Hong Kong right after she heard about our engagement!….We had never met before this day…my husband & I got engaged 6mths after our 1st blind date, married 2mths after that!
I was so honored and felt so LOVED, by my then future in-laws, how could I possibly say NO?? My husband is their only son, so I had no issue whatsoever in regards to fairness to other sibilings. I do have 2 sis-in-laws, but in our culture, when daughters get married, they receive gold jewelry in stead of diamonds.
I wonder why u would think that ur taking something that isn’t YOURS? She’s giving it to u bcuz ur going to be a big part of their family, marrying their 1st born son. I’m sure that they must have GREAT feelings for u and welcome u to their family with open arms. ur one lucky girl!!
Finally, since ur future Mother-In-Law is so considerate, I’m sure she’s got plans for her other kids as well. Just enjoy~~Best wishes to u~~
Post # 5
@JenGirl: @nkwu22: thank you for helping ease my fears. I think you’re both right – if she thought about giving the stone to me, she no doubt has plans for her other children as well. She is a very sweet and kind woman. Thank you for weighing in.
If you’re up for sharing, I would love to see your rings! I am sure they’re gorgeous 🙂
Post # 6
@pinkpre: sure. i’d love to share a pic of my ring.
however, it was originally set as a solitaire bcuz i had no time to find a setting that i liked prior to our engagement party (i was looking long & hard for a setting for princess cut center). So i’ve been wearing my solitaire for all these years only reset it into a new diamond halo last year.
my dear Mother-In-Law passed away a few years back! i missed her dearly, i would never sell this diamond and plan on pass it down to my future daughter-in-law. i’m gonna start my own family heirloom!!
Post # 7
@pinkpre: I know exactly how you are feeling! My SO’s mom wants to give us a stone to use, but I feel like it wouldn’t be right to take it from here. It an amazing feeling to know that she wants me as part of the family, but she has a son who’s older than my SO and a daughter who is younger. My SO’s older brother is married, but they don’t have a ring, and they did the JOP, so I always thought that the stone would go to here and not me… Hopefully there aren’t hard feelings!
Post # 8
Fiance got the stone from his mother. It’a a gorgeous stone, and more than I had hoped for(I didn’t know it was his mother’s stone until after it was on my finger!). My Fiance has an older sister though, and I found out his mom had called his sister before she offered it to my Fiance to make sure she didn’t mid that I got it. His sister is getting another diamond from the family, but obviously not the one from his moms engagement ring. I felt guilty, but I love my ring and stone and LOVE that it has history in the family, which they are entrusting now to me. Mabye his mom did something similar with your soon to be FI’s siblings??
Post # 9
@pinkpre: Congratulations! That is a very kind gesture. I’m sure that she knows 100% she wants you to have it and already haa other plans with her other children. I wouldn’t worry to much and just enjoy wearing it 🙂
Post # 10
I think it’s a beautiful gesture and a blessing that your Future Mother-In-Law is trying to bestow on you. I say take the stone and some day when her eldest is going to get married, pass on the stone to continue the tradition.
Your future in-laws (SO’s siblings) may want a new stone or may go with a non-diamond. You can’t predict the future and if they have some concerns about the offer they will probably take it up with their mother. Besides, this is being offered to SO as much as to you so don’t feel so guility about it.
Post # 11
I think it’s totally fine to use it! It is a wonderful gesture, and if she did not feel highly of you, she would have saved it for another one of her children. Congrats! I’m sure the ring you have it made into will be beautiful.
Post # 12
The oldest son typically has the mothers ring passed down if that is what she wishes, or if she has passed that is what normally happens at least from what I have always known
Post # 13
I think that your SO being the oldets kinda has first dibs on the stone. Just be happy and honored. I love family rings and wish I had one 🙂
Post # 14
My fiance and I were offered my grandmother’s diamond. I’m the third of her three grandkids to marry, but the only one to do so since she died. I don’t know if her stone was offered to my brother or my sister first. It hasn’t come up, at least not in my hearing, and neither of them has ever asked me about it.
It’s not the stone I would have chosen in a store (I wanted Asscher, this is round), but I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I love that this stone represents a successful marriage of 59 years and I hope to give it many, many more.
Post # 15
@sweetcrackers: Totally. That’s a sweet story.
OP – post pix of what you are thinking of doing with the stone?
Post # 16
I have a new love for pear shaped diamonds! I never cared for them before but I’ve seen a few beautiful halo pear rings and think they are gorgeous!