- 7 years ago
- Wedding: July 2012
Because I tend to write novels in my posts, I’m gonna give both a long and short version of my dilemma. 🙂
Short: I have a small cross tattoo on my ring/wedding finger that I got for religious reasons inspired by a friend/mentor of mine who tragically passed away a few years ago. I have enjoyed having the tat, but now I don’t really love the way it looks with my e-ring.
Long: I am a spiritual person and I got a cross tattoo on my ring finger to symbolize that my relationship with God is more important than one with any person one earth, including my future husband who I wished so badly to meet at the time. This was a concept that was introduced to me by a girl who had a very active role in the church I was going to, and I got to know her really well when she coached a dance ministry I was fortunate to be a part of. She was the type of girl who dreamed of her wedding day all her life and like me, longed for the day she would become a wife to her husband. But she was never desperate to get married. She taught us that she knew the Lord was her husband (this is a biblical concept that isn’t very well known by those outside of fundamental Christianity, and was certainly new for me). It really resonated with me. She passed away very suddenly in a tragic accident. The first thing that crossed my mind was, “I can’t believe she will never get to marry now! God, how could you let this happen?” Her parents, however, actually had smile on their faces the day of her passing. Why? “The Lord is her husband. She is finally with him now.” There was a “wedding” celebration at her funeral, even a wedding cake. I was so moved my this and it truly changed me forever. The tat is a symbol of that and an expression of my faith.
But, there were problems with it. The tattoo artist made it larger than I had asked for. The ink didn’t take well to my skin (which is why many advise against tattooing fingers) and ended up fading quickly, looking really blotchy and odd. When I got it touched up in a darker brown, it finally looked more normal, but the color was way darker than I had anticipated and now it really stands out more than I would like (the original color was much more subtle). The tattoo never did quite look the way I envisioned it, but I still appreciated it for what it meant to me.
I did like having it while I was single and dating. It was a great reminder to be grateful for life as-is, sans a husband. But as soon as my FI slipped the ring on my finger — I was more than a little disheartened with it. This bright, delicate, beautiful ring really seemed to clash with the harshness of the tattoo. I had thought that maybe with an e-ring and a wedding band, my tat would be covered up eventually anyway, but now I know that won’t be the case. The band of my ring is very dainty and thin (which I love!). I get self conscious about the tat now that I’m newly engaged and have people looking at my hand a lot more. Thinking about people seeing it in at my wedding, and in the photos, makes me kind of worry about how it will come across. Will people react with, “Oh how cool, an expression of her faith along with the rings symbolizing her marriage…” or more of a, “What the crap is that thing on her finger?!” I still feel on the fence about it myself. :-/
Since it is so small, I don’t think laser treatment is going to cost a ton, and even if I only got a couple treatments to help it fade, I think theres a chance I might be happy with just that. But part of me would like to see it removed all the way, or rather actually have it “moved” to a different location on me (i.e., get a new cross tat somewhere else to replace it.). I think that would help with the emotional significance of losing the finger one.
So hive, what are your thoughts on this? Have any of you gone through tattoo regret? Or even, tattoo removal? What would you do if you were me?
Here’s a pic, for reference.