A threesome question

posted 3 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
Member
291 posts
Helper bee

Personally I’d go for someone you’re not best friends with – there’s every chance a friendship could turn funny afterwards.

Re. 2 straight girls, as long as you’re not repulsed by a little bit of touching (even accidental) then it should fine. As long as everyone’s getting *something* out of it! 

Post # 4
Member
1287 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@forthean:  I  have not had a threesome, nor plan on it, so my answers are merely based upon a hypothetical situation, and my opinions!

Being straight, I think I could have a threesome with another female, and a male.  I find females attractive, even if I am not attracted to them, and think that if I were choosing a threesome, it means the idea arouses me in some way, no matter what sex the other person is?!  FWIW, I think I could have a threesome with 2 men as well…

If it were to be male and female partners, then I think I would need to find a complete stranger, because I am pretty sure I would not be able to look a friend in the eye ever again.

Post # 6
Member
1627 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Stranger. Only you can asnwer if you are willing to kiss, caress and stick your fingers and tongue inside another woman.  That’s not my idea of fun.

Post # 7
Member
1208 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2004

@forthean:  Eek I do not think it could but maybe for some it would work.  I think a stranger might be better in case you end up not liking it – then it isn’t like you have to face your friend again afterwards.

Post # 8
Member
448 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Talking from experience (granted a while ago)

I couldn’t have done it with a friend but equally not with a complete stranger. Also there is no way I would have done it if I didn’t have any attraction towards women. That would have been really awkward and strange. 

I wouldnt sleep with a guy I didn’t find attractive why would I sleep with a girl who I didn’t?

Post # 9
Member
225 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Yeah, why would you want to have a threesome with a woman if you are not attracted to women? This seems to exacerbate my issue with a lot of FFM 3somes. It seems like you’re doing it to fulfill your SO’s fantasy (in which he will be the primary recipient of pleasure) and not because it’s something that will genuinely bring you joy and pleasure. You’re not getting anything out of this unless you just really like sharing or watching your guy be with someone else. As a woman who enjoys sex with women for my own sake this is a really frustrating thing to see.

Post # 10
Member
96 posts
Worker bee

I had a threesome with my best girl friend and our mutually close guy friend.  I wouldn’t have chose a better scenario to experience something like that with, since none of us were attached to anyone romantically.

My friendship was actually much stronger with my best girl friend after that and it was always something we laughed about later down the road. 

For us, it was never uncomfortable.

Post # 11
Member
4441 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

@forthean:  I’ve had a threesome with my DH (pre-DH status) and my friend, not best friend but good friend, and it hasn’t made our relationships awkward.  The next morning was slightly awkward LOL but all relationships have survived intact!  Also, me and the aforementioned friend are straight, but think ladies can be sexy and are LGBT-friendlies.

Post # 12
Member
72 posts
Worker bee

It could work, if the girls are ok with being in a sexual scenario together even if they are not going to touch other..

Post # 13
Member
7997 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

Oh dear. Well I would never involve a friend. I can almost guarantee you that having a threesome with a friend will be the kiss of death for the friendship. You’ll likely picture her with your man every time you see her.

If you insist on doing a threesome, I would ensure it’s with a neutral third party that you’re both attracted to, and you both agree on it.. have her STD tested and so on.

Just speculating here, but by the sounds of your post, it seems like you’re getting pressure from your guy to do this. It doesn’t sound like you find the idea particularly great if you’re asking if it could work w. 2 straight females. Like what exactly are you getting out of this?

Tread carefully!

 

Post # 14
Member
2398 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@forthean:  DH and I have only had a threesome once, but woudl happily go again in the right situation/scenario. We did it with a very close female friend (she has dated girls, but recently swung back over to guys) and it was not awkward or weird at all. It was great for us all- she really wanted to get laid (had been in a dry spell for nearly a year), DH really wanted a threesome (his fantasy), and I wanted to give it a try but only with someone I was comfortable with. We all had a great time, DH went to work the next afternoon, and me & her hung out in the hot tub talking about how the whole thing went & our feelings about it. 

Honestly, it doesn’t have to make your friendship awkward unless one of you let’s it. In the future, we would probably choose a stranger, now that we got over that first werid not knowing what to do bump. But I think we made the best decision for us by inviting a close friend for the first time. 

I DO NOT imagine her with my DH ever really- even when weve stayed over at her house for a few nights. We are all adults, we talked thoroughly about our expectations and boundaries and treated each other with respect and it came out wonderfully. 

Post # 15
Member
3195 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

If I was going to have a threesome with my husband, it would have to be with a stranger. She wouldn’t even know our real names and it would be in a hotel. 

That said, I don’t think threesomes are a good idea. There is too much potential for jealousy and hurt afterwards. When a woman allows a MMF threesome with her partner, sometimes the man she is in a relationship with loses respect for her. Most men are very judgmental about women’s sexual behavior and they look down on women who let two men tag team them. 

My husband says that he would never wish to share me with anyone else and I am more than enough for him to handle in bed. Wink Good guy. I am not saying that a man wanting a threesome with his wife is wrong for having that desire…it just isn’t our cup of tea. 

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