Post # 1
You frequently see people posting about being disappointed in the gifts they recieved, and you see the cash gift vs. registry debate.
But what’s shocking is how many people say “You shouldn’t expect gifts at all! Be thankful if you get anything at all” Which that always shocks me! Maybe it’s just how I was raised but I would feel pretty ashamed to show up empty handed to a wedding. This doesn’t go to say that you need to spend or give a lot of money, honestly. If I had no money, I would handmake something, or write a very personal card and put it along with a small and simple gift.
Afterall they’re paying who knows how much to feed me, provide a fun night of entertainment, and maybe give me a favor to take home. Granted it’s their choice to do that and they didn’t have to spend as much as they did if anything at all, but I respect their effort and want to congratulate them in return with a gift to celebrate their new life together.
So I’m just curious how many of you really would show up to a wedding with no gift at all.
No judment if you would, I’m just curious.
Post # 3
@LittleRedOwl: I will usually show up with a card and cash (I’m chinese). However, I do not plan on getting a gift for my friend’s wedding next April because I’m making her invites (I paid for materials), her jewelry, her cake topper and her favors.
Post # 4
I would feel really weird showing up to a wedding with nothing. I know that it isn’t expected (or so people say), but really…it is. I have never heard of a wedding where the bride and groom got nothing and I feel like everyone must know they will get some presents. Perhaps they are even *gasp* excited about the presents or expecting a few things off their registry.
I would never show up to a wedding without at least $150-$200/couple. If it is a family member, it will be $500/couple.
Post # 5
@housebee: I wouldn’t give a gift in that situation either because you already made a significant contribution. I wish I was crafty…or handy…or whatever word you use to mean you can make nice things, lol.
Post # 6
@housebee: That makes so much sense too, I feel like if you have contributed towards the wedding with your time, talent, or supplies then a gift really isn’t as necessary in my book.
Post # 7
I went to a wedding a couple years ago for a classmate, I was still in school and unemployed, I wasn’t invited to the reception, just the ceremony. I brought them a handmade card, no gift (i think that’s the only time I haven’t given a gift) but i couldn’t go empty handed.
Post # 8
@MrsPanda99: I totally agree. It’s like an unspoken rule. I also don’t understand the stigma on the bee about people being excited to recieve wedding gifts. By all means, be excited, who has ever not gotten a single thing on their wedding day?!
Post # 9
I always bring something, if it’s a close friend or family it would be a larger gift. But showing up empty handed would just feel odd to me.
Post # 10
@LittleRedOwl: I think a lot of people assume it is gift grabby or that the couple can’t afford the wedding so they want gifts to compensate. Personally I think that gifts are always nice to get (and give) so I don’t understand what all the fuss is about. I’m sure people are bright enough to know that they could ski[ having a wedding and just use that money towards buying themselves an entire registry worth of stuff…but they want the wedding and appreciate a few gifts. Big deal!
I’m eloping and I know I won’t get anything from most people. My siblings say they will still get me something, and I think that is really sweet.
Post # 11
I would never attend a wedding without a gift. We only ever gift money here, so I would honestly feel terrible attending without gifting at least $200 between my SO and I, or $100 if I was alone. That amount obviously varies depending on how close I am to the couple.
Post # 12
I did show up to a wedding with nothing once. We flew there and were so busy before the flight that there was no time to even get a card. I did later mail them a gift and a card once we got back home. Like that week.
Post # 13
I’ve went to a couple of friend’s weddings last year when I was really poor because I’d been on a pay freeze at work for 2.5years and didn’t take a gift as getting there was costing £200+ and I simply couldn’t afford it (I was maxing out my overdraft every month). There’re both pregnant now so I intend to make up for it by getting them awesome baby gifts.
I did and still do feel bad about it though.
Both FI and I really don’t care if we get gifts especially as a lot of my friends are in the position that we were last year.
Post # 14
i never bring a gift to the actual wedding, be it a card with money or a physical gift.
i will send it about two weeks later.
that way i don’t have to worry about the B&G misplacing it, i don’t have to worry about carrying it, and i know the B&G received it.
Post # 15
I was taught that you never bring a gift to the wedding or reception. You send your gift, before the wedding, to the registry address (usually the bride’s parents home) so that the wedding party has one less thing to worry about on that day.
So, technically… we always attend weddings empty-handed.
Post # 16
It’s more the idea that you should be “expecting” gifts that’s rude. To put expectations on your guests is the part that’s touchy.
I would never in a million years show up to a shower or wedding empty handed. Most people would not. It’s not that the bride and groom don’t know this either. It’s that the bride and groom should not be figurativley standing there with their hand out like “what’d bring me??”.