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Isn't life funny? I've spent many years trying to avoid getting pregnant by using various types of birthcontrol and by being cautious. Birthcontrol medications are
But we use them because god forbid we get pregnant before we are married! Then what happens? You get married and then your mindset has to change. Now, suddenly it's OKAY to get pregnant. In fact, it's EXPECTED. People even ask newlyweds at their reception when they are going to start having kids! Let the couple be married for 24 hours people!
Okay....it's baby time! "Let's do this!" You do it once, twice, 20 times even. Surely, you must be pregnant! You didn't use a condom! You didn't take your pill! I feel myself getting bigger already! Let's pick out baby furniture! I'm going to be a mom!
You look at the white stick in your hand. It's negative.
Imagine all the money I could have saved not wasting it on all those birthcontrol pills over the years! I could've probably paid for my wedding with that cash, rather than being in debt like I am now!
Isn't life funny!
I can't fully empathize with you on this because in Canada, your insurance covers the cost of birth control. However, I totally get your frustration. *HUGS* It'll happen.
I laughed so hard at this. Seriously. It's funny how it changes though, "If you have sex, or even LOOK at each other funny, you'll get pregnant!" to "It's a borderline miracle to even conceive, much less carry a healthy baby to term!"
oh it started when we got engaged.... people would thrust poor unsuspecting babies into my arms and say "this time next year, it will be your baby you will be holding"
ugghhhh - hubby doesnt want babies and im neither here or there about it so i thought i would create myself a fertility issue to fob people off with... but no, now i get slips of a paper with doctors name & phone numbers and sucessful IVF stories.... yikes
The right birth control shouldn't cause all those symptoms! Those are really sucky!
Have you been trying for a long time? Have you gotten checked out? There could be an underlying issue...endo, PCOS, scar tissue, tilted uterus, etc.
Birth control is the ONLY thing saving my uterus from getting so bad it has to be taken out, so it might even be a little blessing in disguise you've been on it. There is a website called idreamofbaby.com and lots of women discuss their issues getting pregnant there.
Some say it even takes 6 months to get "out" of your system. My doctor says you're most fertile the month you go off it. I do know the shot takes longer to get out of your system.
There could be more than going on than meets the eye, that's all =]
eloping - wow, hah! I was actually considering that route myself, but now that you're getting doctors' phone numbers and successful IVF stories, I think I'm going to have to reconsider!
@EJ.... heheheheh. i dont mean to make fun of infertility but i just dont get people that think its ok to intrude on this stuff.
there is one girl at work that makes it a weekly discussion with people and i know she has asked "so when are you having a baby" to another lady here and that poor woman has had a couple of miscarriages already. i find it such a personal question that i tend to assume that most woman of child baring age might have fertility issues so i NEVER mention having babies to them
@eloping, I agree. But if you say something really personal back (even if it's not true), it's fun to watch them turn 5 shades of red.
Telling them you used to have man parts is up there on that list, too...=P
or, like Rachael had in Friends...a "teeny weenie"
Note: i was on depo. Didn't gain any weight...i DID notice i was hungrier though and had to be much more conscous about my snacks
@chicago... that seemed like an intense response, maybe i'm reading it with the wrong tone?
I'm not even married yet and Ive known for years I desperatly want a baby one day. I feel ya! I keep thinking, watch I'll have issues getting pregnant and the last ten years on bc would have been a waste! However, I'm still on it. In the beginning I had to mess around with different kinds. One kind literally made my uterus fall apart and another made me crazy! It only took about 6 months to find the right pill for me and Im sticking with it till the end!
I do know that when the time comes, in like two years if I get what I want 
I'll be in your boat! Good luck!
@eloping... I'm afraid Im normally the one putting my foot in my mouth with the too personal questions. I think its because I have no shame and I share things so I tend to over do it! I TRY very very hard to not do it. I dont attack unpregnant people but as soon as they are its like I have verbal vomit!
@Mrscingle... i hear you about once they are pregnant-thats me too! one of the PA's here told me 2 weeks ago she is pregnant and im already planning her January baby shower, my office is already full of decorating & party stuff and im all over her about taking it easy, not lifting, how is her daughter (her daughter is adopted so a huge shock to a 7yr only child) handling the news (this bub was a ivf one) ect... i get super excited there i sniff potential plans in the air for me to arrange
lol FI cousin is pregnant and I find myself asking her EVERYTHING at every family function. I like in a house with a lot of his family (cousin, sister, 2nd cousing just moved out) so I would be comfortable with them but she is cousin by marriage and I barely know her! Oh well, I'll let people ask me tons of questions even personal ones when I'm pregnant and I'll love it!
Here's life (at least the one I've seen in the South): Girls who SHOULDN'T be having babies get knocked up left and right. Married woman or financially/emotionally stable women that WANT to have babies and are in a position to do so, have a much harder time conceiving or can't have them. What gives?!?
labrador - I think the same thing every day.
veruca - I totally understand! I was on birth control, and would use condoms every time because I was terrified of actually getting pregnant. Now, we are trying to get pregnant and I'm thinking "what is even the point of birth control? I've gone three months without getting pregnant!"
It will happen - just keep having fun trying!
@Chicago-I felt that came off a little intense as well. I don't have insuarnce, and it's hard to get it. I am on a low dose BC, and it says in the packet that it can cause weight gain and naseuea. And goodness know if, I don't take mine on time I'm so moody, you'd hardly know I was me! lol.
I'm sure you'll be able to concieve. Just keep trying!
@labrador.... i often said any dumb 16yr can get pregnant the first time but once your older, educated it seems so much harder.
my girlfriend (who suffered from endemetriousis - sp?) once said to me that each month was like suffering a miscarriage because the white stick showed negative. she went thru 15+ ivf treatments, one day i asked her when was enough and she couldnt answer - # 18 or 20 resulted in a baby girl and 2yrs ago (drunken christmas party-go figure) she conceived her 2nd daugther naturally
@labrador - Well said.
@ eloping - Yay for your friend! I have a cousin that also had endometriosis and after one bad marriage, she is now remarried and expecting her first child. :)
@veruca - Despite what other people (person?) said I agree with you. I have yet to find a bc pill that doesn't make me nauseous. My doctor literally told me we were on our last one, so I settled for the one that made me the lest nauseous and took right before bed but sometimes could not sleep bc of the nausea. The simple fact is - bc effects EVERY PERSON differently. Not one person can say what side effects another person is or isn't going to experience.
Also, my doctor checks the "generics ok to substitute for this medicine box" (or whatever it says) and I still pay $45 for my bc with insurance.
Thank you for the post. I see your frustration and the shot at humor. I agree with you all the way. I wish you the best of luck. :)
@ chicagobride092010: You're not being particularly supportive -- and you should really check your sources before going off about something. First of all, while "generic" birth control may be less expensive, it also has more side-effects, and is less effective. Also, $30-$35 per month may be "expensive" for some people. Second of all, they CAN have health risks for non-smokers, especially if you have high cholesterol already or have clotting problems. And third, all those side effects can happen on the pill. True, she may not be on "the right pill for her", but the hormones in the medication can still cause them.
I hate birth control and could never find one that works for me. Hormonal birth control causes me to have horrible aura migraines and could give me a stroke, they say, so I can't take them. I tried the other kind of birth control, with different hormones and I bled like crazy and not even when it was supposed to be my period! (sorry if that is TMI). So then I had an IUD and it was good for a while, but hurt quite a lot when I had my period. Hurt too much. Then the spotting started...
So we use condoms. That's it. Sigh. I am very sensitive to any kind of medication so I guess it is the same with BC. So I feel all you out there. BC sucks for some of us! And anyone who has migraine issues should NOT take birth control, it is probably why you have them in the first place and is a huge health risk, from what I understand. Talk to your doctor about it!
Veruca, doesn't it take a while after going off BC to become pregnant? Some say it can take up to 6 months, is that correct?
No, Jenniphyr, you need to check yours. Spewing that generics are more dangerous and less effective is blatantly wrong and hurts the people who think generics are "expensive" that you sought to defend. In the United States, generic medications ARE THE SAME as brand name pills. They contain THE SAME active ingredients and have THE SAME bioequivalency (dosage) as brand name medications BY LAW. The only differences possible are in the inactive ingredients. Unless you are allergic to one of them, it shouldn't matter. And you can be just as allergic to one of the inactive ingredients in brand name medications. Do they do things differently in Canada?
By the way, the estrogen in combined (estrogen containing) pills increases your HDL (good cholesterol) and decreases your LDL (bad cholesterol). The beneficial difference is not tremendous for most people.
It CAN increase your blood pressure slightly, which is not good for anyone (especially those with high cholesterol). The detrimental difference is not tremendous for most people.
Yes, it should be avoided by a very small number of women (including those prone to clots that you mention). But just because a few women with preexisting conditions should avoid BCP doesn't mean it doesn't have beneficial effects for a much much larger number.
@mambinki, some women can get pregnant immediately after stopping the pill, and for some it takes several months. Don't get frustrated if it takes you a little while and talk to your doctor.
I just want to talk real quick about my experience with an alternative bc method I just started, the Sympto-Thermal Charting method You can read about the method in the book Taking Charge of your Fertility, but some cities also have classes you can take on it. Basically, I take my temperature every morning and also track changes in my body over the course of the month in order to understand when I ovulate. I'm still really new to this birth control method, so we still use condoms all the time, but after you use it for a while, you should be able to eliminate all other forms of birth control (unless you use a barrier method during ovulation periods instead of abstaining from sex, like we will). I use www.fertilityfriend.com to track my ovulations, and it's getting easier to tell when my fertile periods are.
Here's the benefits:
I really like this method because of the lack of hormones, the price (free!), and the fact that when we do want to get pregnant, we should have an easier time with it. I have nothing but good things to say about it, for both people trying to conceive and for people trying to avoid pregnancy. So don't give up hope! There are some forms of bc that have none of the negative side effects traditional pills have AND that make it easier for you to get pregnant when the time comes. :)
I've heard that the Sympto Thermal method, with proper training, and if you're consistent and do it right (just like all other forms of BC) is as effective as condoms, at the very least, if not moreso.
It's not right for me but it's an excellent alternative to bring up.
@mrs.spring--and I thought remember to take a pill every night was tough!!! =P
And, in case nobody was aware, there are programs out there for 90 day medications--the medco.com site? Basically you pay for 3 months of meds up front..BUT it's FAR cheaper than buying one at a time at Walgreens or wherever. It is THE way to go for long term medications (ie bc).
I used to pay $45/month for the ring at Walgreens and $60/3 months via Medco.
I like it. :) Honestly, I have the hive to thank for turning me on to the Sympto-Tehrmal method. NFP was mentioned several times on here before I started doing research and realized it might be the right bc for me. So thank you, hive!
And good luck to those who are baby-making! Sending baby-full thoughts your way!
ETA: Lol, ejs! I actually find it easier than remembering to take a pill because I can take my temperature in the morning when my husband's alarm goes off, instead of at night (when i forgot every other day!). If I don't wake up to take my temp, my husband just nudges me awake so I don't forget. I haven't missed a day yet!
@Mrs Spring - Thanks for the info! This is something I would like to consider trying about a year after marriage. However as of now, I don't want to learn something new and mess it up (which I probably will)! But I really like the info, I'm saving it!
Man, all I know is it was really easy for me to transition away from pills (which i hadn't taken since i was 15) onto the serious endometriosis medication (because my doctor administered those!) and then BACK to pills. I finally gave up and put an alarm on my cell phone. I did miss one on my honeymoon but took it asap in the morning. Oops. Its' still weird remembering to do it.
I feel ya, mrscingle, that's why we're still using condoms right now. It's our "back-up" method until we feel 100% sure we're doing it right. We're hoping to go off condoms by the end of the year, though, which my husband is super looking forward to!
@Mrs.Spring, he'll appreciate that, I promise! I don't know any guy that likes those...but man, I'll tell ya, once you go without, they never wanna go back!
Bwahaha! Ejs, you're so right! He wasn't super happy with switching from bc pills to condoms but he is SUPER supportive of our new method. I think he sees the end in sight!
lol you two crack me up
We're the dirty old married hens crashing the wedding boards on a Friday night.
Hahahaha! It didn't take too much convincing. My sex drive went up quite a bit after getting off bc pills, so he didn't want me to go back on that. And he's not a condom fan... So when I told him I found a way we could have sex without condoms or pills, he got pretty excited. :) I think he even giggled a little bit!
ETA: Lol, look at us old married women giving the newbies some advice! Although, I think there's a considerable number on this board older than us, ejs...
I'm in no room to give advice, living all by myself and my husband far far away! Seriously, how ridiculous would I be as the sexpert? No thanks! The one negative (initially this said plus and i said...plus? wtf) about BC is that it is a major sex drive killer, especially on the higher doses. It's a really intense side effect for me but I'm on a LOT of it. Ugh, i can't wait for THAT to come back. He's excited I'm sure, too.
@Mrs Spring - yes!!!! ive never been on the pill and hubby and i used condoms when we first started having sex but i decided i could handle things naturally. because my periods are so regular its been very very easy to plan and as hubby is COMPLETELY clueless to all things female so he just takes my lead
its not for all and the side effect could be a major lifestyle change (ie a baby) but ive only had the one scare (i bought 6 - yes SIX home preganancy tests and had those lined up in a line in the bathroom) and by hubbys (then BF's) reaction i knew worst case senario is still good
@Chicagobride: Generic drugs and brand name drugs are exactly the same. The reason for the difference in price is that the brand name drug spent all the time and money researching for their product. When a drug becomes generic, it's because the patent for it has expired and all generic companies can now view it. Sometimes people are allergic to the brand/generic because the conditions in that they're made in a slightly different. But all of the ingrdients in them are exactly the same and should be the same quality if they're considered interchangable. In Canada, a generic drug is not considered interchangable until they go through a testing period to show that it works just as efficiently and with the same or better results as the brand name. So for some medications, although there are several generics, it's up to the governing body that does the controlled testing to deem it interchangable. I'm unsure of how interchangability works in the USA, but it really effects which medications the government in Canada will cover. By law, we must dispense the cheapest medication, which is always the generic. If you want the brand name, you must pay the difference. If a generic is not deemed interchangable, the government will pay for the brand name.
@Veruca: How long the effects of BC after discontinuation differs from person to person. Because we do not know anything about your medical history, it might take months to years until it is fully flushed out. You should also ask your physician/pharmacist about any other drugs you've taken in the past. There are some that can linger in the body for over 3 years and can be harmful in pregnancy. I don't know what kind of pre-cautions you've taken before trying to concieve, but there are several things to consider about before jumping on the baby boat (such as loading up on essential vitamins and stuff).
Also, maybe the problem is with him, and not you. There are things that your husband can do to help you along. You shouldn't be having sex everynight. Studies have shown that his body will produce strong and healthy sperm after a period of two days. And usually only 1-2 sperm ever reach the egg out of whatever million that was deposited. On average, it can take up to a year to become pregnant. If it doens't happen after a year, that's when you should seek out fertility treatments and doctors.
TOFU- just to add to your statement, you say "if it doesn't happen after a year, that's when you should seek fertility treatments".
This axiom does not hold true for women over 35. If a woman over 35 fails to conceive after the first three months of trying, she should visit her OB for evaluation. :)
@ Mrs. DG: Ahaha =) You're right! Although Veruca is only 26, so it is a suitable suggestion. It's not an exact time period, but the best reccomendation is to ask your doctor anyways. A doctor is better knowledgable than a pharmacist in training. This is definitely not in my expertise to evaluate.
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