Post # 1
Hey all! I am not a frequent poster, but I am a frequent lurker on these boards. This has been on my mind for some time, and now that we are less than 2 months from the wedding, I have to get some advice!
My fiance has several guys he had asked to be groomsmen right when we set the date (about 1.5 years ago). These guys are more so childhood friends than good friends now, but they still keep in touch and hang out every few months. All of these guys are really into volunteering for their local fire department, which is awesome!
To make a long story short, the same day of our wedding, there is a band bash that the volunteer fire dept puts on. A mutual friend overheard several groomsmen (including the best man!) say that they were going to show up for the wedding, eat dinner and then ditch out of the reception in time to hear some bands play.
I know this would put a damper on our big day to see his so-called good friends, especially the best man, sneak out of the reception….
So thanks for listening to me vent! I guess I just want to know if I am being too sensitive..I know hearing this hurt my fiance too…and any advice you guys may have for me..
Post # 3
They don’t sound like very good friends if they are going to peace out of the reception for a wedding they are in. That’s pretty disrespectful. Bands come and go, the wedding of their friend is way more important and once in a lifetime. If I were your husband, I would definitely tell them how much it would mean to me if they helped my celebrate this very important day.
Post # 4
- Wedding: September 2014 - Turf Valley
Hopefully what was overheard was just some joking going on amongst them, and they weren’t really serious. It could be! I would ask politely, “Hey, I heard you guys were planning on leaving our reception early to see some bands at the fire hall?” If they say yes, maybe you should confront them about it. Hopefully they say they were just joking.
Post # 5
That’s rude. I would ask if the mutual friend could ask them for clarification.
Post # 6
@dev4216: definitely do a little detective work – see if a mutual friend can say ‘it’s too bad you’ll be missing the band bash – but x and y’s wedding will be so much more fun anyway’ and see if they offer up their plans.
Post # 7
Thanks everyone, I definitely think it is rude! Unfortunately, these “friends” have a history of being this way…(for example, I threw a surprise 30th birthday party for Fiance, only 3/5 groomsmen showed, they were late and stayed for 30 minutes) ugh!
Post # 8
They don’t sound like very good friends. I hope your FH won’t be too crushed. Would it be worth it to seriously talk to them about it beforehand, or are they the types who wouldn’t care anyway?