A vent. Why do guests ask to invite other people?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
28 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Get that vent out! Its tough to shrug something off like this, especially on a day where you want to be surrounded by the people you love. Little pat on the back for your FH for saying something appropriate! Best of luck with everything!

Post # 3
Member
2052 posts
Buzzing bee

Sometimes in situations like this I wonder how much the other person is pressuring this person to ask so that they can go. 

Anecdata: I really dislike my FI’s best friends girlfriend. I do not want this girl at my wedding and I will probably do whatever I can to make sure she doesnt show up. I fully expect though that she will force her bf to ask my FI if she is invited to the wedding, because shes done similar things before. Her bf is fine doing things without her, but she regularly invites herself along to things and then gets mad at him if she isnt allowed to go

Post # 4
Member
6048 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

Just say no.  Explain why… because you want people your close to not some random at your wedding.  i can understand sometimes people asking but seriously … let me bring the POA (pc of a$$) I’m hitting every once in a while, cause it’s a wedding and it’s a sure thing if i bring her.  grrr

Post # 5
Member
1899 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - TTC #2

tinypaws:  Ugh. My wedding also happens to be 45 guests too (twins!), and I definitely wouldn’t want a guest like this girl. Stick to your guns, and honestly I don’t think you look like a-holes; I don’t know how far she’d be travelling but they can turn it into a couple’s weekend away easily. 

Post # 6
Member
14 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2017

I agree it’s very rude. Extending an invite if there is room is already so generous. Remember, it’s your day. Don’t let something like a hissy fit over an off-again on-again relationship get you stressed out.

Post # 7
Member
175 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I was honestly just about to write a vent about this topic also. I can’t understand how people can assume they are invited to something if they haven’t specifically been told so. Weddings are expensive. We have to pay for each person per head and it does suck to have to pay for someone you don’t even want there. Since your wedding is a smaller one I would not extend the invite to her unless if you get quite a few ‘no’s’ from the RSVPs. 

Post # 8
Member
668 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I totally get it! Ugh at my bridal shower my cousin asked if she can bring her baby after I sent out invites that just listed her and her husband. I mean, I guess if she really wants to bring her baby, sure but why put someone in the awkward position of asking that? I would just assume if my invite didn’t say “and family”, I’d need a babysitter. This was the same cousin who when we first got engaged posted on my facebook wall “Congratulations!! I better be invited to the wedding”

Post # 9
Member
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

I have no idea why people are so thoughtless. It would be one thing if it was a wedding like mine: casual, buffet, big…

But a really intimate wedding? How does he think that’s appropriate? Totally unfathomable.

I would just say NO, even if you have the room. Even if this ONE couple thinks you’re assholes, who cares? You don’t know the girl, so that’s moot, and your FI doesn’t even really like his friend, so also no problem! 😀

 

Post # 10
Member
18 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2014

This happened to us too. We invited a guy who is a friend of my FI’s brother, sort of a not so close friend of FI. Well, after getting the invite he asked to bring his recent girlfriend, who is a lovely girl.. But I was still quite surprised. We are 65 people in the wedding, so not a huge wedding. FI told him to wait until the RSVPs had come in. Well, they came in, and we had room for a couple more people. The next time I met aforementioned guy and girlfriend I said  with a smile “I hope you can both come to the wedding?” He then replied to me “Only if I can bring her, this is a package deal” and pointed to her. I was just… shocked.. As if he was in a position to barter? I said yes, because I’m too polite and weak to stand up to him, but when he kept grinding on I left my polite self and explained to him what the pricetag of a wedding is.

Regretting inviting him, hoping he will pull out for some reason. When FI heard about this situation he said that if he had been there, he would have uninvited thw guy for being rude. Anyway, on the day I will not care about this guy, there will be so many people on our wedding day and he will fade into the background of this glorious event.

Post # 11
Member
6000 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

Everyone thinks they’re entitled to everything. That’s the problem. We had a cousin straight up ask us if they could come…oh, and they’re 2 kids and fiance of a week. Yeah, no. It didn’t help their case that their own parents didn’t want them there. Just stick to what you want and don’t worry about it.

Post # 13
Member
288 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

It’s really your FI job to take care of this, even if it means being the bad guy.  We all have to be the bad guy at some point.  If you end up having to take care of business, I would be very direct about it.    

 Also, if he chooses to bring her to town without a seat at the wedding…He is the asshole, not you.  I kind of feel sorry for this girl.  She probably doesn’t even know that this guy is doing this.  She might even assume she is invited.  Men sometimes…

Post # 14
Member
266 posts
Helper bee

Same thing happened to me.  We are having a VERY intimate wedding of 16 people!, number 14 and 15 were a couple who are good friends of my FI and I was happy to extend a inviation to the couple, but an hour later the husband texted!! my FI asking if their adult son was also invited!! I have never even met the son! We couldn’t really say no he is not so now we are 17 people, but really how rude!!!

Post # 15
Member
795 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

We’re having an intimate 45 person wedding too! We had our first add on a couple of weeks ago so I know how you feel. We invited a friend of his mother’s and her S/O to our wedding so his mom would have a “friend”. Well, this friend crossed out the two on the RSVP card and wrote the number four. They wanted to invite their 18yo son and his girlfriend to our small intimate wedding. We handled that quick and they decided they couldn’t go anywhere without their son so they’re not coming. We’re not to upset. 

Leave a comment


Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors