- 7 years ago
- Wedding: December 2010
If you’ve got a friend with an unfortunately douchey SO, vent or cry with me here. Also, any tips for dealing with the situation are more than welcome.
My friend and I used to be really close. We’ve been friends through elementary school, high school, undergrad, and beyond. Needless to say, we have a ton of history together. Most of my other good friends are high school or university pals, and while I love them all, there’s something special about a friend who has known you almost all your life.
It makes me so sad to think about how far apart we’ve grown over the past few years, and in no small part due to the fact that she started dating (and is now engaged to) a total asshat. I can’t emphasize enough how much of an obnoxious, narcissistic, irritating, weirdo buffoon this guy is.
He’s got something to say about everyone and everything, and he couldn’t care less if it’s racist, sexist, homophobic, or offensive/rude in any other sense. He’s very judgmental as well, and is constantly giving his unsolicited advice and opinions on issues that are none of his business (and that he knows nothing about). Oh, and he thinks he’s hilarious and so clever, too.
He has said so many disrespectful things to me over the years, and my friend just sits there like nothing’s wrong. Even worse, sometimes she gangs up on me with him. For a long time now, I’ve been questioning whether she’s really a friend at all. If my DH was ever the slightest bit rude to one of my friends, there would be hell to pay. She doesn’t seem to think I deserve the same decency.
I can’t say anything critical about her fiance – she’s very fragile and insecure, and her fiance is the whole world to her. She has him up on a pedestal and it would destroy her if he was brought down from it. I try to take the high road and ignore her fiance, or laugh it off when he’s rude to me, but how much longer should I have to put up with his abuse for the sake of her comfort? And the thing is, I don’t even care what he thinks of me, he’s a moron. But it hurts that she’s being complicit in his treatment of me.
I can’t decide if what’s left of our twenty-year friendship is even worth salvaging. To be honest, I haven’t had fun with her in ages. I have plenty of other close friends who I would much rather spend time with. Yet, I’m her only close friend – her fiance’s behavior has alienated eveyrone else. I’m going to be her only attendant at her wedding. If she doesn’t have me, she’ll have no one. So what can I do?
Thanks for reading my vent, ladies. I know I can’t be alone in this situation. What’s your story? How did you get through or out of it? What’s your advice for me?