Post # 1
So we just found out yesterday that my FI grandpa who he is very close to is dying of cancer and will mostly likely die before our wedding which is in a couple weeks. I am not worried about the wedding and am trying to finalize any last details without going to my FI because I know he has a lot of his mind. I don’t really have any questions for you bees I just needed to vent my sadness. I know that life goes on and everyone will still have fun at the wedding but its hard to think about all that right now. I want to do something special for him at the wedding but I can’t think of what. He is a war veteran and my husband is in the military and will be wearing his dress uniform the day of our wedding. It would be nice to do a little tribute to his grandpa but I am unsure if its appropriate or how to fit that in to the day….
Post # 3
Oh I’m so sorry hun. Death is never easy. I would do something small at the wedding. Just a quick mention. Maybe a toast to him or something. After all that day is suppose to be happy. When ppl cry you want them to be tears of joy not tears of sadness. They’ll be doing enough of that at the funeral and your wedding will be refreshing for them.
Post # 4
Aww I’m so sorry!!
Life doesn’t stop for weddings, huh?
Having lots 3 of my 4 grandparents, aunt and dad, death isn’t very unfamiliar to me. We’re making mention and noting everyone who we’ve lost in the program. Something like:
“Here in spirit… Grandpa so-and-so — On on minds and in our hearts, today and always”
That’s my personal preference for memory tributes.- You might just needt o have a card displayed if he doesn’t pass until the week of the wedding. Can’t really print that in programs too far ahead of time, ya know?
One of my girlfriends’ grandpa was nearly dying every week for about 2 months before the wedding. He ended up hanging on until they got back from their honeymoon. So I’m crossing my fingers your FI’s gpa hangs on a little longer. You never know what they’ll do. It could go quickly or linger a little longer. Either way, I think you’re nice to have something prepared, just in case.
Post # 5
You could have a photo of his grandfather placed at the guest book signing table and have a candle lit in his memory
Post # 6
I think a nice picture of him with a framed note to him would be nice. You can place it on the guestbook table to show everyone he is there is spirit with you.
This is what I am doing for my relatives who have passed away. I miss them dearly and want to remember them on the day.
Post # 7
I realize that you are trying to plan ahead; but Really You never know what god has in store for someone. He could live for many more months. Honestly; I wouldn’t worry about his “tribute” until you need to. In the mean time I would spend most of my time praying that he is still able to attend your wedding; not preparing for his rememberance. But I guess that’s just my opinion. I tend to think God is more Powerful than Doctors. Also; If I were dying; I would hope my family was praying for my presence as long as possible. Try & Think Positive!
Post # 8
We mentioned by grandma who had died the year before, and had a moment of silence for her, plus I put a red rose (her fav) on the chair next to my mom where she would have sat, and also had a memorial candle lit for her
Post # 9
I’m with Demodreamer. When it comes to a matter of weeks, there’s really no way of knowing when its someone’s time. It would seem horribly morbid to, say, print a memorial in the programs before he had even passed. I say wait and see. And if he does die in the days leading up the the wedding, I would try to make whatever memorial you choose very very subtle, because the emotions will still be so fresh for everyone.
Post # 10
I think the memory thing with the photo and candle next to the guest book is a lovely gesture, cos then you know he’s there and it will have significance for the people closest to you.
If you don’t want to be that obvious you could maybe do what I’m doing? My fiance and I are having a small table at the entrance to our reception with photos of all the strong marriages that have inspired us to take our vows. If he wasn’t married you could maybe alter that by having a family table with photos of you guys with your nearest and dearest – does you FI have a photo of him and his grandpa in military colours?
Best of luck and my heart felt wishes with you at this sad time xx
Post # 11
Its not trying to be negative so much as he has advanced stomach cancer and most people dont survie for very long. I dont want him to hold on and be in more pain then he already is.
Post # 12
I dont want to print anything in the programs at all – I just wanted to have an idea of something to say in case. It would be weird to do a huge print up and make the wedding into a funeral.