(Closed) A wedding and a funeral….

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: What should we do at wed. for FI's grandpa who we are told will die about a week before the wedding?
    Just do something small like a mention : (6 votes)
    32 %
    Nothing at all : (4 votes)
    21 %
    Do something a little bigger like a poem or small tribute : (9 votes)
    47 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3252 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    Oh I’m so sorry hun. Death is never easy. I would do something small at the wedding. Just a quick mention. Maybe a toast to him or something. After all that day is suppose to be happy. When ppl cry you want them to be tears of joy not tears of sadness. They’ll be doing enough of that at the funeral and your wedding will be refreshing for them.

     

    Post # 4
    Member
    195 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    Aww I’m so sorry!!

    Life doesn’t stop for weddings, huh?

    Having lots 3 of my 4 grandparents, aunt and dad, death isn’t very unfamiliar to me. We’re making mention and noting everyone who we’ve lost in the program. Something like:

    “Here in spirit… Grandpa so-and-so   — On on minds and in our hearts, today and always”

    That’s my personal preference for memory tributes.- You  might just needt o have a card displayed if he doesn’t pass until the week of the wedding. Can’t really print that in programs too far ahead of time, ya know?

    One of my girlfriends’ grandpa was nearly dying every week for about 2 months before the wedding. He ended up hanging on until they got back from their honeymoon. So I’m crossing my fingers your FI’s gpa hangs on a little longer. You never know what they’ll do. It could go quickly or linger a little longer. Either way, I think you’re nice to have something prepared, just in case.

     

    Post # 5
    Member
    1667 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    You could have a photo of his grandfather placed at the guest book signing table and have a candle lit in his memory

    Post # 6
    Member
    453 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    I think a nice picture of him with a framed note to him would be nice. You can place it on the guestbook table to show everyone he is there is spirit with you.

    This is what I am doing for my relatives who have passed away. I miss them dearly and want to remember them on the day.

    Post # 7
    Member
    396 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    I realize that you are trying to plan ahead; but Really You never know what god has in store for someone. He could live for many more months. Honestly; I wouldn’t worry about his “tribute” until you need to. In the mean time I would spend most of my time praying that he is still able to attend your wedding; not preparing for his rememberance. But I guess that’s just my opinion. I tend to think God is more Powerful than Doctors. Also; If I were dying; I would hope my family was praying for my presence as long as possible. Try & Think Positive!

    Post # 8
    Member
    7431 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2009

    We mentioned by grandma who had died the year before, and had a moment of silence for her, plus I put a red rose (her fav) on the chair next to my mom where she would have sat, and also had a memorial candle lit for her

    Post # 9
    Member
    1426 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 1969

    I’m with Demodreamer.  When it comes to a matter of weeks, there’s really no way of knowing when its someone’s time.  It would seem horribly morbid to, say, print a memorial in the programs before he had even passed.  I say wait and see.  And if he does die in the days leading up the the wedding, I would try to make whatever memorial you choose very very subtle, because the emotions will still be so fresh for everyone.

    Post # 10
    Member
    151 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    I think the memory thing with the photo and candle next to the guest book is a lovely gesture, cos then you know he’s there and it will have significance for the people closest to you.

    If you don’t want to be that obvious you could maybe do what I’m doing?  My fiance and I are having a small table at the entrance to our reception with photos of all the strong marriages that have inspired us to take our vows.  If he wasn’t married you could maybe alter that by having a family table with photos of you guys with your nearest and dearest – does you FI have a photo of him and his grandpa in military colours?

    Best of luck and my heart felt wishes with you at this sad time xx

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