- 5 years ago
- Wedding: May 2013
This is the first time I’ve posted on Wedding Bee, and I don’t do this often, but something just happened that just completely floored me, and I’m honestly just trying to get my equilibrium back. I’m getting married to my wonderful fiance’ in May, and a couple who we have been friends with are getting married two weeks after we are. They sent us a save the date, and we of course sent them one as well, along with a wedding invite.
My friend, who is getting married two weeks after we are called me today saying that she had something difficult she needed to talk with me about. I couldn’t imagine what it could be about, but she began talking about how she and her soon to be husband had been arguing because he wants to invite his ex-wife, and she doesn’t want the ex-wife there. I can completely understand that, and commiserated with her about this, and tried to offer some support. But then, out of nowhere, she said that she thought that she and her husband had come to an agreement about the ex-wife not coming, but in the meantime, the husband had said that he doesn’t like or want my fiance coming to the wedding either! I was just shocked, as I have never seen any indication that her fiance didn’t like mine–they’ve always seemed to get along okay at events where we’ve both been. My friend kind of skirted this issue, but the gist I get from her is that I’m invited to the wedding but my fiance’ is not. This has just put me in a horrible position because we got a save the date from the couple, and we were both looking forward to sharing their special day with them–and we invited them to our wedding. But now, what on earth do I do? I can’t possibly go to the wedding without my fiance–and I confess even in the midst of my shock, I’m angry that my friend and her fiance would even suggest this as a possibility–the idea that I would ever come to the wedding without my fiance when we’ve both been planning on coming! And we were both given the indication we were invited!
Even worse, I have to figure out now how on earth to talk to my fiance about this–He’s going to have hurt feelings over this, and I don’t blame him at all. I mean, I really do get that people have a right to invite who they want to their wedding, but wow….throwing this in my lap, after we’ve already received the Save the Date and made plans to come is really not cool, and it seems to me to be a huge breach of etiquette. And would it really be so horrible to my friend’s fiance if we both came to the wedding and reception? I feel like we’ve suddenly become the victims in an argument between our friend and his fiance, when really we have nothing to do with it. I feel like we are just casualties of the issue related to the ex-wife attending.
So anyway, that’s my story–I have absolutely no idea what I can do. I don’t plan on attending the wedding at all now–and I’m really sad and brokenhearted, because we thought this couple were our friends. We invited them to our wedding for heaven’s sake! They got the invitation in the mail. Now, I even feel like I’m uncomfortable attending the same social group that we both belong too, because it’s going to be too awkward and uncomfortable. So now, it feels like I’m losing not just my friend who’s getting married, but all these other people that I used to enjoy hanging out with and being friends with.
I’ll be okay…just needed a good place to vent and maybe see if there’s any advice or kind words out there for someone who’s been caught, quite unexpectedly, in the middle!