Post # 1
So I floated a date for my wedding next year to a friend, and got this response back from a third party (someone she told about my tenative date, she is a dear friend as well).
This is just the middle section of her long why-I can’t come-to your-wedding email, that basically seesaws between “I’m completely unavailable on that date” and “I’m completely broke and can’t afford anything that expensive”:
“So I’ll try to come to your wedding assuming I’m invited and we have a car but I hope you won’t be disappointed if I can’t make it. XXX (her boyfriend) and I don’t put as much stock in weddings as you do. Weddings are pretty meaningless for my family since OOO (her sister) and I are never getting married and XXX’s marriage was a disaster. A wedding just isn’t our idea of fun. Please don’t hate me for saying that. I am happy for you. and I’m glad you’re having fun planning your wedding.”
Please keep in mind she knows zero about my plans, which include free accomodations for all guests. Everything will be taken care of, all you have to do is get there (a 2 hour drive)!
It’s a challenge to love your friends sometimes (sigh).
Post # 3
she sounds like a pill. :/
Post # 4
Ewww (I know, childish but that was my first thought). She sounds pretentious and annoying, like who the hell is she to tell you “weddings are meaningless to me blah blah blah” – I wouldn’t even bother to invite her.
Post # 5
@Tincangirl: umm….so she basically said that because some people get divorced, she doesn’t support your marriage…
what a great friend.
Post # 6
that’s really selfish and rude of her to say. i mean – she hasn’t even been invited and she felt she needed to pre empt your invitation with a monologue on why she doesn’t like weddings? rude. i’m sorry you’re dealing with that.
Post # 7
@Tincangirl: “It’s a challenge to love your friends sometimes.”
Yeah….. I get that. 🙂
Hopefully it works out and she can make it. She can always carpool with someone. 🙂
Post # 8
@Tincangirl: I’d probably just respond with something snarky like, “Fortunately for you, you’re not invited!”
Post # 9
Yeah, that’s gross. What a way to behave toward a friend.
Post # 10
Projecting much? Christ, how about just a yes or no answer next time…
Post # 11
Hahaha that is such a bitchy thing to say I can’t stop laughing.
Post # 12
Well that was a silly stupid thing to say.
Post # 13
Yeeesh, rude much! I can’t imagine saying that to anyone, let alone a friend.
Post # 14
Your wedding is about the fact that YOU believe in marriage. It has nothing to do with whether or not SHE ever wants to get married or the fact that her bf’s previous marriage was a disaster. Her stance is just plain self-centered. Sorry you are dealing with that!
Post # 15
@Tincangirl: So, this third party just sent you an unsolicited email? Wowzers! I would be tempted not to invite this “friend” and use the spot for someone who wants to be there.
Post # 16
With friends like that, who needs enemies….