(Closed) A week until my wedding and MOH drama, literally nonstop

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
3142 posts
Sugar bee

Please break that up. I couldn’t read it all due to my eyes crossing several times.

Post # 5
Member
2539 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

if its bothering you that much you should ask her to be a BM and not maid of honor. what ever you do, do it before your print the programs. hopefully she wont get upset and completly drop out. i dont think that will happen because she has already paid for her dress.

just try having a conversation with her and telling her how you feel. at any rate dont let her or anyone else ruin your day.

Post # 6
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

Dump her.  I would never let someone with the title of MOH act all high and mighty like that. What kind of friend is she??

Post # 7
Member
2053 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@soontobemrscyrus: Let it go. I wouldn’t bring up the sleeping arrangements again until she does, if at all. It’s her problem where she sleeps, not yours. You’ll have a spot for her but if she doesn’t use it, no big deal. She can get a hotel room and be done with it if she’s so concerned about being super comfortable.

Post # 8
Member
5786 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

I could barely follow but if the issue is just about where she is sleeping the night before I would just let it go.

Post # 10
Member
6824 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@soontobemrscyrus: Just let it go, your wedding is almost here.  Just ignore her and enjoy your wedding

Post # 11
Member
46 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@soontobemrscyrus: Part of me wants to say to drop her completely.  What made you pick her as your MOH in the first place?  She doesn’t sound like she has been a good friend throughout the planning process; and, is making something that should be about you, completely about her.  It does not sound like she is a good friend and definitely not one that deserve the title of MOH. 

If she is a good friend of yours and you want to keep her as your MOH, I would suggest talking to her and telling her how you are feeling.  If she decides that she does not want to be your MOH after you talk to her, then that is her decision–at least you gave her a chance to shape up.

Post # 12
Member
1482 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I tried my best to read your post, but it was extremely difficult to read.  However, while I agree with you that your MOH seems very overly-concerned with her own self, if the issue here is where she is going to be sleeping, then I would let her make her own decision regarding where she would like to stay.  Make your case to her about why you want her to stay with you, but if in the end she would prefer to stay at her BFs house, then there is nothing that you can do about it.

Don’t “demote” her this close to the wedding- if I were your MOH, I’d take your “demotion” and raise you a “thank you, but I’d rather not even be IN your wedding”. It’s embarassing for her, and it would be very rude of you to do something like that.  This is your wedding party, not a place of employment or an army- the concept of “demoting” a MOH to BM is just ridiculous when you start thinking about it.  “Oh, BTW I’m demoting you in the program to a “lesser title” and I’m going to “promote” someone else to stand next to me at the wedding and be denoted as my most treasured friend.”  Good grief.  What’s next?  Are you going to take back the “est iends” half of your “best friends” necklace from her?  Not let her sit at your table at lunch? 

You obviously have your reasons for asking her to be MOH in the first place; while I can tell that you are very frustrated with her behavior, please try to remember that not every BM obsessively reads wedding blogs and message boards, and that sometimes your MOH isn’t going to be the most awesome wedding helper.  My BMs didn’t help me at all, but they’re still my friends.  My MOH didn’t do jack to help with my wedding, but I still love her and wanted to honor my friendship with her by making her MOH.  Sometimes, it’s best to pick your battles and let some of the little things go.  You will enjoy the next few weeks more if you do.

Post # 13
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I say suck it up. she should have been demoted a long time go. Your ten days out. I don’t doubt its frustrating but just let it be.

Post # 15
Member
994 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Ignore the drama, get through your wedding, and tell the beast to get a hotel room like a normal adult.

Post # 16
Member
1667 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I’m sorry to hear that your relationship with your MOH is causing so much stress for you close to the wedding. I think you need to let her know how her actions are making you feel and to communicate, in a nice way, that this event is not about her.

But I wouldn’t “demote” her, as you say, that would be humiliating for her and would most likely ruin the friendship for good.

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