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I know, I know! I've really been on the fence about it since it's just a step above outright asking for cash. But I did research it and the yeas outweighed the nays and FI was pushing for it, so... And in my partial defense, as I am obviously feeling a bit weird about it, we didn't register for plane tickets, hotel, rental car, etc. just extras and not many at that. But I didn't think Miss Manners would be privvy to it! Sheesh. She's not even an invited guest, just a really good client of my FIs.
Anyway, I'm sitting here gnawing on my nails waiting to see what she thinks. lol But since she is an aribiter of taste and etiquette, I would have to bow to her judgment. I'll let you all know what the final word is :)
I doubt she'd ask for it at all if she didn't approve of it. She's not going to ask you for your honeyfund and then bash you for it--THAT would be bad etiquette!
And etiquette changes. Personally, I'm not a big fan of honeyfund or giving cash, but I'm in the minority--most people don't mind at all. The more normal the practice becomes, etiquette rules will evolve with it.
A true etiquette expert would never make anyone feel bad. Dont worry, if she is really an expert she will be gracious about anything. Remember she asked you for your registry info, that is what a registry is for, the convience of your guests. If she thought it was tacky she wouldnt have asked.
@Jenny and Angie: Update! My FI finally came home and I questioned him as to whether he fully explained the concept to her and he said he did and she understood. So, whew! And you're both right, it would have been rude of her to say it was rude. lol
And it may seem hypocritical to be like, "Oh, I don't know if I approve of this but I'm doing it anyway", I've still been worried about offending some guests. I guess I just need to grow a set and own my decision. And maybe she'll even spring for the overnight in the Hotel Hana Maui :)
@PutABirdOnIt: while I'm not a fan of the "money" registries like honeyfund, let me assure you that there is NO WAY to avoid offending some our your guests :) We opted for a traditional registry because the family REALLY wanted one....and lo and behold, my aunt has made a couple of snarky comments because we have wine glasses on there (she's a tetotaller)!! There is really no winning when it comes to this sort of thing 
At this point, I've just decided to just stop worrying so much.
So, really....relax about your choice and just enjoy the ride!!
Based on your username I'm assuming you have been married before. In which case a traditional registry sounds silly. You probably have all the dishware, bakeware, and useless crap typically found on a virgin registry. I think a honeymoon registry is very clever in that situation! Because what you really need is to spend some quality time with your new husband.
I'm really in the camp of people who think you should only ever purchase things off someone's registry or gift cash though, so take my opinion as that from a person who could really care less about what traditional etiquette says about gifts and registries.
PS-I really really really love this one gelato shop on Main Street in downtown Brunswick. If you've never been you MUST go there sometime! It's nummy!
I'd rather buy a couple a champagne toast on their honeymoon than another pot or pan that they already have three of, just because they felt that's what they "should" register for. There's so much STUFF and clutter in people's lives, sometimes services like a dinner for two or tickets to something fun are really what you need and want.
@nmsoonerbride: Wow, wine glasses? Really? It's not like you were asking for matching vibrators. lol
@mightysapphire: Yes, you pegged me :) We live togther and do not need a bunch of useless crap. And yes, I would much rather have the memories of a fab trip with my new husband. Believe it or not, this is my first honeymoon. Didn't get one the first time around (long story:) And it's funny you should mention the gelato place in Brunswick-I actually don't get up there too much even though future MIL lives there. Ha ha. But we are going tomorrow and I'll totally check it out. Have you been to the custard place in Freeport, btw? Also super yummy!
@chicagobride092010: I totally agree-I would much rather buy a couple an experience they can remember forever rather than something like a rice cooker which they will never open (voice of experience here :)
I love the idea of a honeymoon registry because I love to give/receive experience gifts. The only problems I have with it are:
- The service takes some of the money. I'd rather just give cash than have some of the money go to a service.
- I can imagine that people might register for more stuff than they end up wanting to do on their honeymoon (maybe they end up just wanting to chill) and therefore they don't enjoy your gift. So again, cash.
So yeah, I like to give cash. And I definitely don't think there's an etiquette problem.
@nmsoonerbride: I'm unilaterally cancelling that lady's membership in the Aunt Mafia. For heaven's sake, I entertain teatotallers seven dinner parties out of ten! I get Kristian Regal sparkling juices at IKEA by the case: lingonberry to be served in red-wine goblets with beef, bison and venison; pear in the white-wine goblets for chicken, whitefish and tofu; pomegranate in the rose glasses for veal, pork, salmon and lentils. And orange juice at breakfast is terribly elegant in champagne flutes. Honi soit qui mal y pense -- if Auntie were really so pure as she would like to be, she wouldn't be assuming the worst, would she?
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And now I'm a nervous wreck! I was having a really nice afternoon here on the 'bee and my FI just walked in the door and said," Miss Manners (not her real name :) wants you to email her the Honefund Link." OMFG. Really? Why can't she just write him a year-end bonus check and be done with it? I feel so self-conscious all of sudden. I had a few doubts about in the first place, not sure how people would react.
Now a real live etiquette expert will be perusing my regsitry. I have no idea what her reaction will be and I'm kind of freaked out. She's run an etiquette institute in D.C., written numerous books, appeared on Ellen, etc. and I'm horrified but at same time wondering if she'll choose the dinner at the Humhumnukunukapua'a or the snorkeling trip to Lanai. Or if she'll just be disgusted and declare the whole thing tacky.
The good news is that at least it will settle the debate around here once and for all: Honeymoon Registry: Yea or Nay? lol