A whole heap of problems… (Buying a house)

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
3280 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

First of all congrats! Buying a house is exciting and nerve wrecking! FI and I bought our first house this past May, I was 20 and he was 21 and we were still both full time students. We bought a smaller house because we planned to make a big upgrade when we started our full time jobs. My future in laws are actually the ones that picked our house and told FI to make the offer so I totally feel you there. We searched for over a year, put in offers on multiple homes and it was exhausting. I also feel you on the grandma issue, we still have not told me gma or other family that we live together because they would strongly disapprove, but I’m away at school now so it doesn’t matter. My best advice is to get pre-approved if you haven’t already and know that if this house doesn’t work out, there will ALWAYS be another one, trust me! Good luck! 

Post # 5
3623 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@clairelizabear:  You know, I would never buy a house without someone I was married to. I have found the perfect house. DH and I seriously considered it, but we both felt that it was important to be committed to each other forever before we commit to each other for 30 years. Interestingly enough, I had 6 coworkers get married this year and they all had the same philosophy (and their ages ranged from 27-42 and had been with their DH’s for 3-10 years). Plus, buying a house was the most stressful period of my life. I would not want to do that again or to do that without knowing that it is forever.


As far as your age– you are really young. There is nothing wrong with that, but I was also in a 4 year relationship and looking at rings when I was 20. I knew it was forever… but I was wrong. I had growing to do and I am happy I waited to make sure I was established and he was established before making marriage and housing decisions.


That’s not to say it won’t work out– my BIL and SIL have been together since they were 17 (over 20 years). They knew they were right for each other, but they decided to go in the traditional order– they got engaged in college (something I am personally against– give yourself 6 months working first) and bought a house a year later when they were 24. It was still hard because they were young, but it was so much easier because they were married


If I were you, I would support him buying the house and then you can become co-owners once you are married.


Post # 7
38 posts

First- congrats on taking a big step into adulthood! I can feel you on the pressures and frustrations on buying a house. I went and bought a condo by MYSELF and encountered a lot of problems. Constant paperwork required and lawyers and… well… I think you get the idea. I also had a mother that was hurt/concerned that she hadn’t seen what I had purchased- but you know what? I’m an adult and was ready to do things my way. Took a little convincing to get her to see that I knew what I was doing.

With any obstables that get in your way- just keep your chin up and focus on the end product. It’s so worth it in the end! Again! Congrats!!

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