Post # 1
Last year the giant officiated the wedding of two of our close friends. Since then we’ve been considering who should marry us.
I want the person to marry us to know the giant and me so the ceremony can be personalized for us, as the giant did for our friends. They need to have a true appreciation for love and for marriage. This person, if married, should have a strong bond with their spouse and be a role model for the giant and me in our future together.
I think I thought of a potential candidate for this that could fill all the requirements to make the ceremony really special…
but she’s a woman!
I’m not sexist but in the church I grew up in women don’t hold roles where they do things like this. My family may have feelings about it.
Any opinions out there on this? Any of you plan to have your wedding ceremony officiated by a female? Do you think your family will have reservations about it? If you’re already married, how did it go over?
Post # 3
My dad and stepmom had a female officiant at their wedding. The same woman was the officant at my stepsister’s wedding too, and my family is pretty traditional.
Post # 4
I’m gonna jump in and defend you before anyone jumps down your throat about stereotypes (it’s happened before!)
We plan on being married by my best friend who is actually a very young woman, but to be honest I had never been to a wedding with a woman officiant until last summer. This is probably because, as you said, it isn’t “traditional” for most of the weddings I’ve been to.
I don’t know how my family will take it. Her age and her gender will probably raise some eyebrows. I don’t care.
If she’s the perfect person for the job, PLEASE do not let traditional roles stand in the way of making your day special. Yes, it may be a little unorthodox in some circles, but it’s your wedding and I think you should do it.
Post # 5
My officiant is my female boss. She has officiated a lot of weddings and I can’t wait to hear what she has to say. The only family members who may have a problem with it will more than likely have a problem with the fact that we are not getting married in a church so I’m not too worried about it.
Post # 6
We have a female officiant. She is a local person who does weddings that we hired (not a family or friend).
We met with both male and female officiants before we chose one, and I honestly felt more comfortable working with a woman. After meeting and working with us a lot, she is personally writing our ceremony and I feel like it will be written and delivered more heartfelt from her.
Post # 7
We haven’t decided on an officiant yet, but we know it will be one of our friends, so it might be a woman. My family thinks I’m crazy for having someone who’s not actually a preacher/priest officiate, so I think they would bristle at a female officiant. Though they might think it unusual for years to come, I don’t think they will be offended in the long run, so I don’t care. You’ll just need to let them know that you *will* actually be married, even if a woman officiates it. ; )
Post # 8
You and your Giant should do whatever makes you comfortable. If a woman doesn’t fit the bill then find a male officiant! Good luck.
Post # 9
Our officiant was a female friend (she’s an experienced officiant). It wasn’t a religious ceremony, and if anyone on either side was offended, they certainly didn’t say so.
I guess I don’t fully understand the issue, though – if you’re not having a pastor/priest/rabbi or other religious figure as an officiant, why does gender matter?
Post # 10
- Wedding: August 2018 - Oakland Manor
We hired a female officiant and I am officating a few weddings for friends this year. Even though I was raised catholic and my family is catholic no one said a thing about our officiant being a woman, everyone just said how nice the ceremony was.
Post # 11
We had a young female officiant for our wedding and she was amazing! Not only did she spend lots of time with us and could relate to us being younger and just married herself, but everyone said what an amazing job she did at the ceremony and how personalized it was to us 🙂
Post # 12
@HayleyJane: Hm, I hadn’t considered the possibility that our families may not considered us married if a woman officiates the marriage. And I guess we still have to ask our friend if she’s willing to get ordained!
@dorsay: That sounds promising for us!
Because the giant did such a good job on our friend’s wedding, I want someone that’s going to take that personal touch with ours too. I guess if anyone doesn’t like it, they can leave. *shrug 🙂
Post # 13
We had a female officiant and at first I was concerned about how it would look in pictures but then it turned out to be no big deal. No one mentioned it either so I’m guessing they didn’t see much wrong with it.
Post # 14
My brother got married by our good family friend who is a woman. There were no issues about it in my family, she did an amazing job!
Post # 15
I was hesitant to hire the female officiant I found because of my OWN hangups. I guess I just always “pictured” a man with a deep booming voice marrying us (and a moustache?? no idea where I got this mental image from!) and it was hard for ME to imagine a woman marrying me. Then I basically told myself to get a grip; she was perfectly nice, and qualified, and $200 less than the least expensive male officiant had quoted me. I hired her and she’s been totally accommodating so far. I feel I made the right choice.
Post # 16
My female cousin will hopefully be officiating our ceremony. We’re not in the least bit religious and neither are most of our families so having a woman officiate isn’t an issue for us. Even if certain family members objected to it, I wouldn’t give a crap. This day isn’t about them, it’s about FI and I and who we want to marry us.
One of my best friends was married a few years ago and her ceremony was officiated by a woman though she was also the reverend of the church my friend attends. Her family is nauseatingly religious and they see no problem with having a female reverend/officiant.