- 5 years ago
- Wedding: June 2015
As a lot of the waiting bees who have had talks of marriage and babies and buying houses and promises of forever but still no ring, lately I have been feeling the pressure to be “married off” so to speak and start our married life together. A good high school friend is getting married in a week and a half and one of my best friends is engaged to her boyfriend of just over a year. Not going to lie, sometimes I feel like people are starting to wonder what the hold up is, if I have some sort of secret fatal flaw (I don’t I don’t think :-p) It was starting to get to me and I had a good long talk with myself. It kind of went like this:
Me:You know, you’ve been really wrapped up in this “put a ring on my finger” thing and I think maybe its time to get over it
Me: But if I’m not wrapped up in it, what if he never puts a ring on it?!
Me: Realistically, you’re being dumb right now.. He’s either going to put a ring on it or he’s not and dwelling on it and thinking about it day in and day out is making YOU think about it, not him
Me: But how do I how do I just drop it, what if he never does it on his own?!
Me: Then he never does it on his own. You drop it by not thinking about it. By going back to six months ago, before you got ring fever. Remember then, when you were so sure he loved you forever that you didn’t even think about rings because ring schming, it could be a twist tie for all you cared as long as he loved you forever. Before you thought day in and day about about details and rings and weddings because you knew in your time, in his time, it will come, your day will come and he loves you forever no matter what.
Me: And what if I wait and wait and it doesn’t’t come?
Me: Worry about that after you wait and wait. He loves you to pieces and he’s growing up and stretching his adult legs and he will come around to what is right for him(and you) when he’s all done being a boy. Just because you feel like you’re running out of time to get your things together doesn’t mean that he doesn’t feel like he’s “still only 25 and still has some living to do” We all grow at our own pace.
I guess sometimes we just have to talk to ourselves. It fell together. I’ve been so caught up in the engagement/wedding side of things I’ve been forgetiing that we’re young and free and learning. I’m going to university in the fall (for the first time, I’ll be just about 24 when I start!) And he still doesn’t know what the heck he wants to be “when he grows up” He has a stable job but its not neccesarily the “forever” job, just something to support us in the mean time while we figure things out and settle in. We’re young and we’re free. I keep repeating it because it truly is a blessing, one we should all pause a moment before we dedicate our whole selves to changing that.
I have found a man who admires me, works hard for me, looks at me adoringly, takes care of me and spends every day of his life loving me. A lot of us lucky waiting bees have. We have boys becoming men (some sooner, some later) who love us and want us, and just because they’re not ready to right this very second does not mean that I or you should retaliate, nag, suggest, persuade, withold, none of that. And in light of all these things I have realized, I would like to make a promise. A promise to myself, to my fellow bees, and mostly to the love of my life, who I will wait for as long as he needs.
I promise to the patient, kind and loving woman I was when I went into this relationship. I promise I will not forget that what we have supercedes what takes place. I promise not to withhold my duties, neither in the bedroom or the kitchen, to try to push him into anything. I am what I am, he has me already. I promise to remember that a promise from person to person can be just as strong as paper and when we said forever, we meant it. I promise that I will cherish our young and care free days, that I will continue to cook delicious meals and impress his parents with my wit and charm 😉 I will pay his bills and fold his laundry because I can and I love him and it does not matter if they call me his girlfriend or his wife. I promise to not nag and only politely persure engagement or wedding conversation when he brings it up or it comes up naturally. I know he knows what I want, I have to trust he’ll give me what I need. I promise to put it out of my mind and enjoy every moment with him so when the time comes, I am utterly surprised and overwhelmed with joy. Until then, I promise to love and cherish him and what we have. True love is a rare thing, man and wife does not change the foundation on which we stand. I promise to be a patient and loyal waiting bee until the day that he is truly ready to make me his wife.
This all has me so relieved feeling. I’m not picking flowers in the school yard, I know he loves me and I have nothing to fear. I am going to be a happily waiting bee, enjoying my youth and exploring my life!
Have patience my waiting friends 🙂