posted 3 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
2052 posts
Buzzing bee

@aprilnewbee:  Sorry to hear that you are dealing with this.

Your timeline for talking about this is NEXT DECEMBER?!?  That is WAY WAY to long to wait I think.  If you want to get married, you need to sit down with your SO, have a talk, and tell him how you are feeling.

I will say this though–This story includes tidbits about your ex’s getting married.  You should want to marry your SO because he is a wonderful man and a good fit for your family….not just because your ex’s moved on and got married. 

I know it’s hard to not compare yourself to other people but I strongly encourage you to just make sure that the reason you want to marry is because the time is right and not because you are secretly jealous.

If you do want to marry the man you are living with, my best advice is to talk to your man, and not just ‘hope’ for an engagement for the next year because this could cause some serious resentment to come up.  Try and get a timeline.

Stay strong and good luck!

Post # 5
518 posts
Busy bee

@veryberry13:  +1 Well said.

I get what you’re saying about being envious a little that they’ve moved on and you feel you haven’t progressed to that next level yet. Those girls aren’t any better than you are. You’ll drive yourself crazy always comparing yourself to others. Try to just focus on your life & don’t worry about what your exes, your neighbors, your coworkers, etc are doig or accomplishing. You can’t control anyone but yourself, so just worry about how to make your family the best for your son and try not to worry about what his dad may or may not do. If he’s a bad dad there’s nothing you can do about him, but you can make your son feel special and hopefully his future stepdad will too.

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