Post # 1
Hello fellow waiting ladies,
I’m new here and love the bee. It’s great reading everyone else’s posts and knowing that other people are in similar predicaments, so thank-you all!
I have been with my SO for 6 years and we’ve been living together for 3. I love him very much and am very happy in our relationship. We have known for years that we’ll get married, it’s just a question of when.
I’ve noticed on the boards that waiting to save up for the engagement ring is a common experience. This is definitely an issue for us – we’re saving up to buy a house and I’m not sure how we, or him, will also be able to afford a ring.
What I’m wondering about is saving up for the actual wedding. I am quite worried about this. Lots of our friends have had quite simple weddings that still cost an absolute fortune! I feel that the ring is quite a minor expense in comparison to the wedding, ie, maybe $2000 for the ring vs. at least $20,000 even for a simple wedding. We could probably afford a ring now, but I don’t feel like we can afford to get engaged, because we can’t afford the actual wedding.
How does everyone else handle this? If you or your SO had to wait quite a while to save for the ring, were you worried about how you’d be able to save up for the actual wedding?
Post # 3
We wanted to elope from the start- but then our parents offered to help a little tiny bit… and others offered but then back down after we’d said “yes please.” It is difficult… a wedding is so expensive plus all of the things you didn’t plan on. I basicaly set up a simple budget and worked from there. I went outside the box as much as I possible could stand to. I also went to a smaller town where things were more affordable. A lot of things will be DIY. Best wishes to you!
Post # 4
We are having our reception at a restaurant with about 60 guests. It is saving us a bunch of money!
Post # 5
It absolutely depends on the type of wedding you want! My wedding is going to end up just under $10,000, and we have been paying everything as it comes along. Also, we gave ourselves time to pay for it. It looks like you have a date set for 2 years from now, you could totally do it & just make payments along the way. As far as my engagement ring goes, it was around $4,000, and we have just been making payments on it.
Post # 6
Just set your budget and divide the amount by how many months until the wedding, and put that much aside each month for your rings and/or wedding. If you have to extend the months/time of engagement to suit your budget, then adjust accordingly. There is no reason that you should have to go into debt for your rings/wedding. You can make your wedding and rings as elaborate or as simple as you want. Whatever you decide, I am sure it will be beautiful.
Post # 7
MY FI saved money for the ring plus a little extra for the wedding before proposing. We wanted to have a long engagement (1+ year) and save up for a house + wedding but decided against it and just went for it! We are very fortunate that our parents are willing to pay for half the wedding and so far we have been able to stay TOTALLY on budget. Of course we wont have enough money for a home right after the wedding but we will be able to live in his parents extra appartment rent free until we save up enough money for a downpayment to our dreamhome
Post # 8
While he is carrying the cost of the ring all by himself, my family and his family will be paying for the wedding.
Post # 9
You can get engaged without having to get married right away so if it’s something that yall want to do, I dont see why you couldnt. Also, $20, 000 isnt exactly a simple wedding, couples pull of weddings for 15k, 10k and under and still have beautiful weddings. It just all depends on where you have it, venues, DIY, vendors, guest list, etc. $20k can def go quick, believe me I know lol, but it depends on the style. You need to think about what type of wedding you want and what you can afford and go from there. It’s all doable. If you want time to be engaged and save money, plan a year and a half, 2 year wedding.
Post # 10
I am in the exact same boat that you are!!! With saving for ring, wedding, and house it seems impossible!!!! The ring that I picked out it an antique style one and is about $2,000. If you find one you love, who cares about how much it costs?? That way we can concentrate on saving for the wedding. Parents are contributing minimally.
@youreastonefoxx – great idea to pay along the way and I’m planning to do that. ie- see votives you like on the cheap, buy them now with funds you have…
@JennyChicago- we also have the privilage of living rent free in an extra apt and will prob do the house searching after. No reason to rush and pay for a mortgage and a wedding when you can live rent free and pay for your dream wedding and then save for your dream home!
Post # 11
I never had an engagement ring, i didn’t get a ring until 3 months after we had our marriage license, and now we’re having our wedding and i have a 3k budget, thats how its getting done for me!
Post # 12
My advice is to figure out what you can afford and just stick with it. If you do a lot of DIY projects and limit your guest list, you could easily have a wedding for under $20,000. If you need a two year engagement to save then that is perfectly fine, at least in th Boston area. I would just make a list of all of the components, figure out what your top priorities are, and also what areas you can save and do yourself. There are so many extra’s that people do for wedding that you can cut. And if you can’t afford a wedding, you can get married on a beautiful island (wedding and honeymoon combined) and have a cocktail reception for your guests.
Post # 13
Yup. That was our concern. We went with an alternative ring (An Asha Cz that I love) to be updated in a few years, and a somewhat normal wedding.
Post # 14
Would you consider a courthouse wedding? You can officially be married, then have the celebration later, when you can afford it
Post # 15
I feel like we’ll have loooong engagement, which is fine. I don’t think our wedding will outprice us- but it takes the pressure off. I don’t want to be stressed about finances- I want to enjoy being engaged.