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Ladies, what is your stand on abortion? A friend told me the other day that she got reamed out by her friend's mother because she mentioned abortion as an option when getting pregnant. She had my friend in tears with all the horrible things she said about her (the mother is Christian, so not surprised with some of the things she said), all because she was discussing her beliefs (her friend is iffy on kids, my friend is CBC) and the mother overheard.
Personally, I would totally get an abortion if I were to get pregnant before things are permanent. PLEASE, do not bash others opinions, there is no right or wrong here!
I'm scared of what this post will turn into :/
I think every woman has the right to make her own decision about what she does with her body.
I have mixed opinions on it. I'm not really sure how I feel about it and it's something that I have to make up within myself (with no help from others).
@Bostongrl25: why? I am hoping that we can be adults, and talk about a sensitive subject. I'm curious to see what other CBCers in this position would do, that's all
Maybe I should add a poll, so people don't have to post?
I am not a CBCer, but I am all for the right to choose and support the option to abort. Abortion as birth control is another matter entirely.
Completely pro-choice. Who am I to tell someone else what to do with their body or how to live their life?
I fully support a woman's right to it. I don't know what I would do in the event of an unplanned pregnancy so I would never judge anyone else's choice.
@Future MrsB: childfree by choice
@beekiss: good point. I don't know that I would ever tell someone if I were to become pregnant, since I wouldn't want to deal with all the comments from people
Not alot of people know this but I am not ashamed either. I am not CFBC I have a 3 year old birth child and 3 adopted children. We are currently TTC with that said after I had my 3 year old I got pregnant when he was 9 weeks old when I was on BC pills. I had an abortion because I could not give my son what he needed as far as time and attention being pregnant when he was still pretty much a newborn. I do not regret it and I do think I was responsible and did what was best for my family at the time. I am pro choice but I do not think it should be used as a method of BC.
I'm not a CBCer BUT i definitely DO NOT want children within the next 5 years. So if it were to happen now, I would get one in a heartbeat. And I would never ever judge another woman if she chose to get one.
DH and I had this conversation and we are totally on the same page
@plantains: yes, abortion as birth control is totally not cool with me, but if you made the effort and an accident happened, totally your choice.
Ok, I will add a poll for those that don't want to post
Pro-choice, 100%. But the incident that happened to your friend is the exact reason I don't talk about it with anyone other than my FI.
@MarryMeTiffany: wow, I am simply amazed that you got pregnant 9 weeks post partum! Our bodies do some crazy things!
To date, I am child free by choice. In the future, I may be child free by biology. Either way, I support a woman's right to choose.
@MarryMeTiffany: thanks for sharing your story :)
@Gabrielle123: I think its great that you guys have already discussed this and are on the same page. My husband amd I have had the same discussions
I'm pro-choice, and believe a woman has a right to choose. However, I don't agree with abortion past about 24 weeks, apart from in extreme circumstances, and even then I think that really, the baby should be delivered and put up for adoption (as abortion at this stage is very similar to giving birth anyway).
As for what I personally would do: if I was less than 12 weeks pregnant I would definitely have an abortion, no question. Past that, it would be more of a dilemma, and a more difficult decision.
I honestly hope I am never put in that position though, and because I'm so careful with my BC, and because I have endo, an accidental pregnancy is very unlikely, so hopefully I never will be.
@MissDareDevil: It was terrible I went in for a surgery and that is how I found out. I ended up having the abortion at only 5-6 weeks pregnant since they caught it so soon threw blood work.
@Gabrielle123: I feel exactly the same as you. I think that all the time. I'm childfree now, but don't plan to be forever, but if I happened to get pregnant anytime before my FI and I are ready, I'd get one.
Hi ladies, I am not a CBCer but I DO have a great resource for those who HAVE had an abortion. It is a judgmental-free forum to support those grieving. Please note that there is no pro-life/pro-choice debating (it is heavily moderated to prevent judgment). It is a safe place to go to heal.
Hope this helps somebody!
@CarolinaCola: yeah, same here. She said they were just talking about what if's, and the mom walked in after overhearing what they were saying
I'm pro choice. I always thought I would be a cbc'er.
I got pregnant at the age of 18 and couldn't go through with an abortion.
@mrsbruff2b: thank you for posting this! I am going to bookmark this page, so I can pass it on as well :)
@tranquility: Exactly. I think we can say what we think we would do, but until you are faced with the situation, you don't know 100%.
Sorry, I think I added some confusion with my post. If I got pregnant, I'd definitely still have the kid. But for others and abortion in general, I have mixed opinions on it. I don't think though anyone could sway my opinion either way or that I believe I could change someone else's opinion on it.
I don't approve of abortion being used as birth control, but I am still pro-choice and I deeply respect people who make the decision not to bring an unplanned child into the world.
Yes, you can have the kid and adopt it out. I'm adopted myself, so I obviously can't complain about that option. But IMO we need to start thinking about population control and I hate the way people try to guilt others into going through nine months of extreme physical and mental changes just so they can hand a baby over to someone else.
I had an abortion several years back when I was in no position to take care of a child, and I don't feel the least bit bad about it. My body, my choice.
I am pro-choice. I think that link included above is nice for some, just also want to note that is perfectly ok to get an abortion and NOT grieve or feel the need to heal. Some view it as a medical procedure only and not a reason to grieve.
I answered the question "not sure." I just don't know. We don't want kids right now (or maybe ever, also not sure and still deciding) but I can't say with absolutely certainty what I would do.
Can I just ask that only those who are CBC (and by that I mean plan to never have children, not just those who are childless now) respond to the poll? I just get the feeling that a lot of women who aren't CBC are responding, because I can't quite believe that 45% of women who are CBC wouldn't have an abortion, and the point of the thread is to get CBC women's opinions on this.
That isn't a dig at anyone, I just think it skews the poll otherwise.
@MrsSl82be: with all the horrible things she said about her (the mother is Christian, so not surprised with some of the things she said)
What does her being Christian have to do with her saying horrible things?
I applaud those who are and are doing their utmost to be childless by choice!
@MarryMeTiffany: I got pregnant after my first (and only) child too, He was only a month old! Yep on the pill... My doctor stongly advised me to get an abortion because I had a cesaerian... and I could rip open my belly while the baby was growing! Never got a second opinion... I actually still feel guilty. I should have never listened.
First of all, being Christian doesn't acutomatically mean you are Pro Life or closed minded which is definately the vibe you gave off in your statement "the mother is Christian, so not surprised with some of the things she said". I hate that mentatity so much! I am Christian and am very much Pro-Choice! Infact, when I was 18 Mr. Hedgie and I found out we were pregnant. My first, his second, year of college. After weeks of discussion we decided on an abortion. Now, we are about to start TTC (Thank God!) but I completely understand and respect the use of an abortion. However, as a fallback to birth control or as a viable option for multiple uses? No. At that point I believe somebody needs to get snipped or tied. I did know somebody who had 6 abortions before her doctor finally told her it wasn't safe for any more and to either get her tubes ties or get him snipped. I believe abortion isn't a birth control but a last resort for an accident or unplanned pregnancy.
@AB Bride: I'm Christian and I was not offended by the OP's post. Yes, it could have been phrased better, but I believe she meant that the mother was Christian and believed in life at conception.
(To put my response in perspective, I'm Christian and do believe in life at conception. That said, I don't think I can say what any of you women do to your bodies, nor can I judge what decisions you make. To each their own because we're all doing the best we can.)
Also, I didn't vote because I'm not CBC.
@barbie86: I think the poll is a lost cause. Seems like responses are a better gauge at this point.
For those saying that they don't like the idea of abortion being used as a form of birth control, why? I mean, I wouldn't use it that way but if there's no harm (other than possible uterine scarring?) why should that the bad? Just curious, please don't bash me.
I won't vote in your poll so your results won't be skewed.
I'm similar to delerium.megans, I'm child-free for now, and may stay that way, or things may change in the future. If I had to make the decision now for the rest of my life, I would say child free.
I would be surprised if I got pregnant. It's not a situation I want to be in, so am doubling up on birth control methods. If I was raped, then I would abort for sure. If I became pregnant by DH, I am not really 100% sure, but I would probably abort.
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