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DISCLAIMER: This is not a thread to discuss or debate pro-life / pro-choice. I'm forwarning everyone that I will flag posts that try to turn this thread into an abortion debate and ask for the comments to be deleted. If you want to debate abortion - start another thread.
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So I was watching the 16 and Pregnant reunion special/finale last night and after it aired, another 16 and Pregnant special came on called "No Easy Decision". Markai, one of the girls from the most recent season, found out that she and her BF were pregnant again (she missed her appointment for her Depo shot) and ultimately decided that it was best for them and their family to have an abortion. It showed the difficulties she had making the decision and in the aftermath of the procedure. They also interviewed two other girls who had chosen to have abortions.
I was glad to see MTV tackle this issue. Through three seasons we've seen a bunch of girls keep their babies and a couple choose adoption but they've never really shown someone even halfway consider abortion. I honestly think Markai was brave to share her story.
One thing that surprised me during the episode though was a comment made by Dr. Drew. He indicated that 1 in 3 American women will have an abortion during their lifetime. This number seemed really high to me as I don't have anyone close to me who has ever had an abortion (I heard through the grapewine way back in HS of a couple girls who supposedly did but I don't know if it was true).
Does this statistic seem high to anyone else? If you're willing to share, have you ever had an abortion (we can see if the Bee is 1 in 3)? Did you see the 16 and Pregnant special and, if so, what did you think?
ETA: I've added a poll so that people can share anonymously if they wish.
You should add a poll to this so that members can remain anonymous if they so choose. That number does not seem high to me actually.I didnt see the 16 and pregnant special but based on what you say Im glad they touched on abortion as well. Thats the odd thing - 16 and pregnant makes it seem like your only 2 options are having the baby or giving it up for adoption. It also glorifies being a teen mom IMO because the teen moms on the show are now famous and all over the media - their lives dont even seem THAT difficult. Im sure they are very difficult but they arent portrayed that way all the time. What a brave girl for sharing her story. I think more people should share their stories because it will help other girls and women have an informed choice if they are thinking about all of their options.
Here are some really interesting statistics regarding abortions, such as ethnicity, age, contraception use, etc.
Edit: it is important to also remember that reproductive years are from about 15-45 (give or take a few years). It's not just teenagers who have abortions.
I love these series on MTV. I've heard that the teen pregnancy rate is now down for the first time in part because of these types of shows. I work in women's healthcare and I see a lot of teen pregnancy. I am also privy to very personal and private information. In my area, it would be my estimate that the statistic is closer to 1 in 5 or so will have an elective abortion. I do not and cannot judge.
I saw an episode yesterday on 16 and pregnant about a girl in Texas. She was considering abortion and her mother was very supportive. I don't think they make it seem as if there are only two options. And I don't think there was anything glorifying about the episode I saw yesterday. It was heartbreaking. The poor girl wanted to go to college, had to graduate early from HS, had disappointed her family....it was so sad.
When I was a teen I knew two girls that had 4 or 5 abortions, EACH. Like it was a form of brith control or something. Those were the only people I've personally known that got one (that told me, anyways) so that number seems REALLY high to me.
It's definitely interesting!
Going through friends/family members in my head that statistic seems right on target actually! I didn't watch the special, but it seems like a good show to go along with the 16 and pregnant series (which is one of my guilty pleasures).
You have to remember, if you aren't someone who is openly pro-choice, if someone you know had an abortion they probably wouldn't tell you since the subject is SO personal and still quite taboo. But then for someone like me, who is actively pro-choice, I went to the clinic with more then one person throughout college because they knew (based off of my views on the subject) that I would be there to support them 100% and not judge them. If you're indifferent to the subject (or just not vocal about it) you probably still won't hear about it much, because like I said, it's pretty taboo still!
I tend to think the figure is probably fairly accurate if its based on actual data – although I think it will change with increased availability/acceptance of contraception.
I think abortion is still very taboo in our society, and so I think its hard to guess at stats based on personal "knowledge" of friends/family, as many women won’t talk about it either way.
I have only known a couple of people who have had abortions. I do think that more people I know probably have had them, but who wants to go around discussing it? It is such a polarizing issue that I can understand people being private about it.
EvaBoston had mentioned that it's not only teenage girls who have abortions. I would also like to point out that all kinds of woman have them for multiple reasons. Some woman terminate because of birth defects, married woman who had an oopsie pregnancy, cancer patients who find out their pregnant and dont' want to put their treatment on hold, college students, etc.
The stat is probably accurate or maybe even higher. Think about all of the ones you heard about, there are so many woman who never even discuss it because they know that society will judge them regardless what there reasons are.
That does seem really high to me, actually...but I think i t's important to remember, as a PP said, that it's not just teenagers who get pregnant accidentally...I only really know women in my age group right now, so who knows--maybe the rate of abortion goes up as you get older.
On 16 & Pregnant, it usually seems like the parents are the ones who would be open to abortion, but the girl is like, "I just can't do that", which is interesting, considering most of my friends/the girls I know would have gotten an abortion right away if they found out they were pregnant at 16. But maybe because most abortions would have to h appen fairly early in the pregnancy, it isn't conducive to being on the show?
Actually when you think of that number at a glance it does seem quite high but I remember back in high school I can count off around 10 girls that I KNOW of that had an abortion. I also know that alot of woman/girls will keep that sort of thing a secret. So the number is not totally known.
I missed that episode. That does take strength for her to talk about that though. I do like seeing every side of a situation.
I personally know of two close friends and a cousin who have had abortions. I suspect the number is higher than most of us think, because most women who have them only tell those closest to them.
I'm a bit older than most of the Bees, and I think I may know a few more girls that had abortions in high school and college because having a child out of wedlock was far less acceptable twenty years ago than it is now. In four years of high school, I only know of one girl that actually had a baby...but have knew of quite a few rumored abortions (in addition to the two friends I knew for sure had one.)
@nona49: On the first season of 16 and pregnant they never discussed abortion. And throughout other 16 and pregnant episodes a lot of times the subject has never come up. Most likely because it wasnt an option for many of these people for whatever reason (beliefs, religion, money)
In addition, Im not saying 16 and pregnant glorifies teen pregnancy Im saying teen mom (the follow up to 16 and pregnant) portrays these girls who have support systems and whose parents are (for the most part) financially stable. With the exception of Amber and Gary. Im just saying that I think a lot of teen moms are WAY worse off than those on Teen Mom so it makes it look like it isnt the worst thing in the world. On top of that they get to be on TV, magazines, probably get money from the show - that could be appealing in the mind of a 16 yr old girl
I did not have an abortion and I would love to lie and said it never crossed my mind but it did. Here's our story:
I was 21 and a sr in college. I was an A student. I had only been dating my daughter's father for a brief time and got pregnant the first time we slept together. He was not the man I saw myself marrying. I was terrified and depressed. I thought of suicide. My best friend and I researched abortion online and found out I could just take a pill and "it would all go away." I decided this was the what I would do although I had always been pro-life. When I made the appt, I found out I was too far along and would need a surgical abortion. My best friend and I drove to the clinic an hour away. It was freezing and we could not find a spot near the clinic.
We went to walk in the door of the clinic and I heard a woman's voice asking me to wait a moment. I turned and told her I was sorry but I was not interested. She replied that the security guard was on break (meaning I could not get into the building yet) so what did I have to lose talking to her? She was not holding a sign with a dead fetus on it but instead a Bible Quote "I can do all things through God who strengthens me." I talked to her for a little while and she explained to me how I could get help with money, housing, even with telling my parents.
My daughter is now 6 and a 1/2. I would never judge someone for having an abortion. It is a very difficult decision.
I suppose I'll be the first one to admit I had an abortion. i was 17 yrs old and not-so-lucky me, it happened the night i lost my virginity....my mom was the one who took me to the doctors cuz i was feeling sick for the last few mornings....i remember sitting in the waiting room after the doctor told me to pee in a cup, still thinking it was just a stomach bug and then my mom coming out from talking with my doctor and telling me 'your pregnant'....i remember time stopping....this was the lowest point of my life...depression hit me head-on...i was a senior in high school, everyone knew me, all the teachers, all the students, i was graduating that year with straight A's, 2nd in my class, career plans of being an architect......EVERYONE thought highly of me. and then i get knocked up. i was soooooo sad everyday. i felt like i let everyone down. despite me being a good student, i had really low self esteem....i put everyone else's feelings first before mine and i cared too much about how others perceived me.... i didnt dare tell a single one of my friends, but i felt everyone's eyes on me as if the entire school knew my dreaded secret, and it made me feel more ashamed....the father wanted nothing to do with the baby when he found out. he emotionally abused me with notions of me being unfit to raise a child and saying he would never ever love the baby or help me out. i have always felt that i was born in some ways to be a mother. but at that time, i wasn't ready. and i could in no way, give birth to my own flesh and blood and then give them away to someone else in adoption. i felt cornered. and so i made the biggest mistake of my life and had an abortion. i regret it every day of my life, but I've come to accept that decision and own it.
Thats my story.
A women studies class in college asked our room full of 35 people 2 questions. 1. Do you know someone who has had and abortion, 30/35 said yes and then asked, have you or your SO had an abortion, 8/36 said yes. Those numbers boggled my mind considering I was one of the 5 that said no. I think it just all depends on your own personal experiences.
@SoontobeMrsA: That story is heart-wrenching. I walk past the people outside planned parenthood protesting almost every day on my way to work and seeing their graphic signs is rough, and I'm not pregnant! I can't imagine what it would be like going there for that reason and seeing them!
OP, you mention in your description that you don't know anybody that has had an abortion, but have only heard of old HS friends.
I think that it's sometimes something that most people keep private, sometimes even from close friends. It's quite possible that someone very close to you has had one but has chosen not to share.
I am glad they covered this option in a tasteful manor as well on this show It always bothered me that they never showed anyone addressing the issue, or the contemplation and struggles that any of the girls may have initially had.
@MamaHusky3: (((HUGS))) I know what it feels like to perceive inadequacies and be depressed b/c I thought I let people down.
I agree that abortions aren't publicized much. I don't know anyone personally that has had one but there were always suspicions with a few people I knew, but it isn't my place to judge another or to gossip about something that personal. I'll leave that up to a higher power.
I think it's good that at least MTV is showing ALL the options a girl has if she gets pregnant unexpectedly. It doesn't mean that choosing to have an abortion is an easy decision but neither is deciding to raise a baby that she is unprepared for. I think it's good to show more than one side of an issue.
The statistic could be a bit high but I feel like it isn't something that is discussed openly. I have a family member who had one (due to the discovery of a chromosomal disorder) - it was a very difficult decision for her and if I didn't know about it I would never have guessed.
I think too often abortions are shown as being only utilized by teenagers or low income young women who are irresponsible/or have made a series of bad decisions but there are a lot of educated well-off women who have had to make that decision as well. Mostly I think the important thing is that IF a woman comes to the conclusions she needs one she is able to get proper medical care & emotional support.
@MamaHusky3: So that you are not alone
I have also had an abortion. It was a horrible situation and at times it still haunts me. I was 16 and was captain of the cheerleading squad, very popular, dating the captain of the football team, etc. I had left a football game and stopped at a gas station to use the bathroom with a group of friends. I walked in by myself and behind me followed a boy that I had knew from school. I wont' get into the details of it, but he raped me.
Not that the pain of dealing with that wasn't enough but 5 weeks later I discovered that I was pregnant. I had never thought that I would ever have an abortion, but thinking about keeping a child when I was 16 that was created out of such anger and pain wasn't a choice I could make. I had an abortion. I still have never told my parents about either of the events. Sigh. I still struggle with it to this day.
In real life I've only heard of one rumored abortion in high school, but I live in a socially conservative area. That statistic seems insanely high to me. Such sad stories. :(
@camrie: I totally agree. Not saying either way if it is a right or wrong answer. But it does seem so taboo. When I had my baby at 19, it was amazing the amount of woman I knew that came out of the woodworks talking about my "options" saying how they have had abortions. Almost all of those woman were highly successful, very financially stable, good woman.
This is definetly a subject with a stigma. I think it goes way deeper then most of us realize.
@MandaMack: I was very lucky I met this woman. The other protestors had very, very graphic signs and like PPs said not everyone there is getting an abortion for the same reason. This woman did not try to change my mind but rather to let me know help was out there. I think that was all I needed to here. I was also lucky that I knew my family would support me and be there for my baby.
I have an (upper-middle class professional) friend who had one when she was 30. I don't want to give ANY details so as to protect her anonymity, just in case, but she doesn't regret it.
ETA: Actually make that two friends - I forgot I have another friend who had one when she was 21.
@MamaHusky3: Thank you for sharing your story and I honestly can't imagine your pain. I honestly wasn't expecting anyone to share (beyond hopefully answering the poll) and I really appreciate your willingness, openness and honesty.
@KateByDesign: I very much agree that there are likely people I know who have had abortions yet not told me. If I were in that position, I would only tell a very tiny group of people super-close to me as I would need their support. But to think that 1/3 of the people I know statistically should have an abortion boggles my mind when I know of zero.
@SoontobeMrsA: Your story is also so open and honest and I really appreciate you sharing. I'm glad you were able to make a decision that you're now happy with and that your best friend was so supportive of you through all of it.
@mwitter80: Thank you to you as well for sharing your heartwrenching story. I can't imagine having to make a decision like that at 16, especially without the help and support of my parents and while also dealing with the pain of having been raped.
That statistic seems right on par. A number of women who are very close to me have had the procedure. I don't watch any of the teen pregnancy shows but I think it's great that they are publicizing all of the options that are out there.
I've never had an abortion so I can't begin to imagine what it might feel like to have to live through that. I do want to comment on the 1 in 3 stat though. Throughout highschool and my first couple of years in University I had MANY women come to me for help regarding abortion. I've always been involved with volunteer work through the hospital and various counselling groups (as well as nursing) so I think many girls who've known me have felt as if they can confide in me.
Over the years I have gone from shocked to well informed. I believe that so many more woman than we think use abortion as an option. What has surprised me is the amount of multiple abortions I have seen. In our circle of friends I know of 7 woman who have confided in me about their abortions. Of those 7 only one was under the age of 18 (15 actually) when she had her abortion. Of those 7, three have had two or more abortions. One of the girls has had four abortions and may never be able to have children again. I know of at least 5 other woman who have confided in me outside my circle of friends.
I'm not going to debate anything here as I know that's not what the post was intended for. I just wanted to share this information with you all so that you can get an idea. All of these girls are from an upper-middle class suburban city with a population of about 80,000. I don't work in an abortion clinic or a planned parenthood office so I can imagine that these numbers are actally low in comparison to the real figures. I will say that it is a little alarmingly apparent that sex education is lacking in this community and accross North America for that matter. The multiple abortion statistics are what surprised me the most.
Quick side question. Do you have to pay for the medical services involved with an abortion in the U.S? In Canada the costs are covered (with certain restrictions). This might change the stats a little if we look at the economic factors.
@mwitter80: @MamaHusky3: I am so sorry that you ladies have gone through this. What a horrible situation to find yourself in.
@mwitter80: Have you talked to a counselor about your rape? It may help.
the statistics seem pretty accurate to me... i have a very close friend who had one. im not gonna lie... when i was younger... if i had gotten pregnant... i might have considered it... its such a personal choice and i cannot even imagine going through something like that. im gklad mtv is at least trying to show other options. :)
@mrs.peters.to.be: Yes you have to pay. Most clinics will take health insurance though.
@SoontobeMrsA: I have talked to therapists about it. I am horrible at dealing with grief in any situation.
@mwitter80: I am so sorry. I can't even come up with the words to express it. You are very brave to share your story. My best friend was raped in college and is still hurt by it to this day. She has begun healing and seems to get stronger every day. I hope you are able to find some healing.
@KateByDesign: Does insurance pay for it? I thought insurance wouldn't. But I could be totally wrong. I guess business and saving money wise for insurance companies it would be the smarter option to just cover it.
I think it should be pointed out that it is completely possible to use contraception 100% correctly and still get pregnant. Abortion does not only equate with irresponsibility. It also does not only equate with "unmarried" or "unable to care for the child". I , and other women I know, completely buck that misconception. I think this show is an important step in making it acceptable to talk about. If people felt comfortable enough to actually discuss their experiences with their friends and family, we would all be surprised at who has gotten one, and how prolific a procedure it is. I know I was.
ETA: Now that I have read the above comments, I feel like I should say: For me, it was not a hearwrenching decision. My now husband and I were simply not ready for kids. We wanted to have a really solid foundation together first. We wanted to travel the world. We wanted to establish our careers. Being scientists, it was an easy decision. To us, we weren't giving up a life - we were just postponing parenthood. We will have children later, it just wasn't our time. I know religious people would likely have a hard time with that sentiment, but to us, it was not a horrible experience, or something that I regret - at all.
@MissFlipFlops: Insurance DOES pay for it (at least my insurance did). THis is why i'm not sure why there was such uproar about the national insurance - everyone's money already goes to support this important procedure.
@MissFlipFlops: Most clinics accept health insurance and will cover a portion of the procedure. It all depends on your health insurance though as well.
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