Weddingbee boards

So, one of my fiance's best friends, and groomsmen, got married a couple years ago, and we just got word they are getting divorced in the upcoming months. They have already moved out, and are apart. I was becoming friends with the guy's wife, we had just started hanging out and I was really excited to get a new girlfriend! But now, im confused about what should happen with the parties/wedding. I am not going to stop being friends with her (the divorce is somewhat mutual and I was told by the groom I should not stop being friends with her for him). But my fiance and I have decided it would be unfair and in poor taste to invite her seperately to the wedding. We have not been friends with her for a long time, and not extremely close, either. The guy on the other hand, is a childhood friend and is part of our bridal party, so we will send him the invite with a plus one, to use however he feels fit. BUT! my plans were, even though she's not in my bridal party, I wanted to invite her to my Bachlorette party ( i told my sister/MOH) and of course, expected her to be at the bridal shower. But...I cant invite her to those things if shes not invited to the wedding right? Is this a case where I can forego ettiquette? Or no?

Oh also I should note - no one was invited to the bach party or bridal shower yet. and, our wedding is in 3 months! (aargh!)

Oh, AND! Should I explain this all to her? Or no?

yeah, good call ladies, thats what i was thinking too, i guess i just needed someone to tell me to do it so i didnt feel like it was wrong! thanks!