About to have a fit

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
1248 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Oh wow. So sorry your mum did that to you! I would throw a pink fit. If there is absolutely no way of seating them I would have your mum call them and explain the situation and tell them they can’t come.  I know it’s awful to univite people but it is your mother’s mistake to fix and if they can’t be seated what way is there around it?  Everyone definitely requires a seat.  If you do decide you can fit them in I would make sure she would be paying for them.

Post # 4
359 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@Lollybags:  this!


I would start calling people and telling them what your mother did, and try to apologetically uninvite them.  this is inexcusable!  I would literally KILL my mother if she did this! 

Post # 5
1706 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@Lollybags:  I agree.  If you cannot accomodate them, she needs to be talking to them and explaining that she invited them behind your back.  If she won’t do that, then do it yourself and let them know that unfortunately there is just no room, you are already at your max limit and that your mom decided to invite them without your knowledge.  If she doesn’t have the guts to tell them, I don’t see why she can’t be a little embarrassed when you do.

Post # 7
1822 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013 - Pavilion overlooking golf course scenery, reception at banquet hall

Bring up the point of fire codes – the venue cannot legally let that many people into the building.

Post # 8
1548 posts
Bumble bee

@MiraJo:  see if u cn fit extra tables, if it was me she would hav to put money towards the extra plates as well

Post # 11
7019 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@MiraJo:  What, you’re paying for the whole wedding??

Then tell her to uninvite them. She created the mess, she fixes it. What she did was dishonest and sneaky and… I just don’t have words.

EDIT: Or uninvite them yourself and say something like this:

“Hello is that Mrs. Smith? It’s MiraJo here. It’s about my wedding. I’m sorry to say my mother invited you without my persmission. She made a copy of my invitation. I’m sorry but it’s a small wedding which my fiance and I are paying for ourselves. So I’m sorry for the misunderstanding, but there’s no space and we physically cannot invite you.”

Or to avoid the awkward converation, send them each a letter, in which you apologise and blame the whole fiasco on your mother. Thinking about it, I kind of like this idea best.

Post # 12
441 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013 - Garden

I would call them and say, “Hi, I’ve received your RSVP and am super grateful that you want to celebrate our marriage but unfortunately there were some communication problems with my mother and she has sent out a few too many invitations. I’m really embarrassed but our venue just can’t accommodate you. I’m so sorry and I hope you understand.”

And then get off the phone ASAP 😉

Post # 14
1076 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@aggie2010:  Fire codes will get you out of anything. Literally. Tell her it will be a health and safety violation and you will get fined/ticketed if more people come in than the max amount.

If anything, have her foot the bill for her extra 25 guests. Their her guests, not yours. Maybe tell her to hold a separate reception for those extra family members she wants to bring. Your mom went way out of line.

Post # 15
7019 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@MiraJo:  “IDK,  I’m going to feel just awful if I have to start uninviting  people“.

That’s the problem. Your mother’s taking advantage of your niceness. She thinks she can get away with anything because you’re too nice to embarass her. Prove her wrong: send each of her invitees a letter.

Post # 16
920 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2018


:O I’ve been to several weddings and during dinner basically everyone is seated (even at casual weddings) all at the same time.  Of course you have people quickly going to the bathroom or maybe getting seconds but people sit for at least dinner all at once.  You should check to see if it’s going to be a fire hazard.  It might also break your contract with them by having that many people.  This was a bad idea.

Personally I’d call everyone that was no longer invited and just appologize (no blaming mom).  You’ll get a lot of upset people that way but 1 you don’t sound like your playing the blame game and 2 you’ll know it got taken care of the right way.  I honestly wouldn’t trust her to call and if she did she’d probably lie or blame you.

Honestly it is partly your fault.  Don’t get me wrong it’s way more your mom’s fault but you could have easily avoided this.  You could have just told her she can’t invite them and that’s how the cookie crumbles.  Lesson of the day is don’t count your chickens before they’re hatched.  That lesson should help you with the outside seating because you can’t control weather.  I’d rather be univited than be told to sit out in the rain or leave.

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