- 6 years ago
- Wedding: September 2010
So this might not exactly belong here, but I think it does so onward:
My dad and I have not seen each other for 13 years.
He lives out of state with my 3 younger half siblings and his new wife. The relationship we have is strained – he’s done a lot of douchebag things that I won’t even begin to list but basically he has been checked out of my life completely for 13 years despite me trying to call and keep up communication. He used to blame his absentee-ness on my mom but I’ve been a legal adult for 7 years and have tried contacting him.
When I got married 3 years ago, we talked on the phone (the last time we’ve talked on the phone, btw) and I asked multiple times for him to come. At first he said “maybe” and then “no” and then when I said “when do you think I’ll see you next” he said “probably at my funeral” … and he meant it (no laughter or sarcasm or anything)
So anyways – three years have gone by without a single word. I’ve called but he just doesn’t pick up the phone. I haven’t called since November, though… because I found out I was pregnant – tried to contact him to tell him and still the same BS with the not answering. Since I’m facebook friends with one of my half sisters he was aware but still made no effort to call and congratulate me, send a card, etc.
Well, I’m due next month and last night on facebook I get this message from my halfsister:
“hey daddy was thinking of coming out to see you guys right b4 u have ur baby. so he can b with u wen shes been delivered. When r u due.”
WHAT? You’re interested in coming NOW? Wait.what.why?? I mean, in Stefanieville, where everything is candy and gumdrops and I’m Queen Frostine, I would love to have both my parents involved in my life. But the situation is so much deeper than that now… NO ONE likes him – he’s done horrible things to his mom/my grandma (including telling her he prays at night she’d effing die and throwing a glass jar of pickles at her), his only brother/sibling would probably have a blood pressure induced heart attack at the very thought of seeing him, my mom could have him arrested because he owes her over 60K in back child support, my little sister has developed a complete indifference, my maternal grandmother would probably come with a laundry list of things to air out…
I’m sure this “bad idea” he’s had is drug or drink induced and once he sobers up he’ll realize all of the above reasons why coming here at this time would be… just… really not good.
I’d be the easy one to work around… I’d probably forget it all and just be happy but there is nooo way everyone else is going to be willing to do that. Not that they should or that I would ever ask or expect them to.
I’m sure I’ll never hear another word about this. Which is mean, too. Just toying with my emotions again – story of my life. I did message him back the date…
I need therapy, bees! Please give me some sort of feedback or insight! Thanks for being my sounding board!