Absent Father…Just another thing to add to the list..

posted 2 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
865 posts
Busy bee

SMZombie:  It sure doesn’t sound like he deserves the privilege of walking you down the aisle.  I’m sorry your family is putting you in this position.  I think you just have to put your foot down.  Do you have a good relationship with your mother?  Why not have her walk you down the aisle?  

Post # 3
Member
809 posts
Busy bee

Your father sounds like mine. Though I told him years ago that he isn’t a father figure and not to expect me to treat him like one. So needless to say we have a pretty strained relationship and I feel has impacted the relationship with my half siblings and grandparents. Blegh. 

I say walk the aisle by yourself or have your mother walk you down the aisle. She’s the only one that’s been there for you and deserves the honor more than any male in your life. 

Good luck bee. Know that you aren’t alone. 

Post # 4
Member
1279 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2015 - Chapel on Base

I have a birth father that I call my sperm donor.  I was 18 when I saw him for the 4th time in my life.  I sought him out when I was 43 marking the 5th time I had seen him.  I thanked him for making me who I was and for giving me the life I had because he wasn’t involved or cared about me.  I told him told him I deserved more than I got from him.  It helped us both to move forward.  I call him dad because I was raised to respect people.  Would I ever let him walk me down the aisle?  No freaking way.  Personally, imo walking down the aisle alone is a testament of the woman I am, the good, ugly, and proud.  I am proud of who I am and proud I did it on my own.  

I hope you find your strength and a comfortable place in your heart.  Stand proud of who you are.  Take credit where credit is due and show the world who you are.   A woman of strength that made it on her own.  

Post # 5
Member
829 posts
Busy bee

Why are you so upset thinking about walking down the aisle alone? You sound like a strong woman! and it’s clear to me that you got yourself to where you are today by your own two feet~ you should walk down that aile alone and proud! This is your wedding, your happy day, and turn the damn tables! tell them all “my way or the highway!” and they can come celebrate as your guests and be supportive of all your choices, or they can stay home. End of discussion.

Post # 6
Member
19 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I know a lot of people are horrofied by the thought of walking down the aisle alone. But in all seriousness, the whole meaning of a father walking his daughter down the aisle is founded in the belief that your biological father is the one who brought you too this world and raised you and now ultimatly giving you away to your partner. If you get down to it the original meaning is that you father is basically “giving away” the responsability of you to your partner. <br />You father may be your sperm doner but he did not raise you, he had nothing to do with the strong woman you are today. He is in no way entitled to claim that and he is aboslutly not in any possition to make any sorts of the demands. He should be begging for the crumbs of your leftover time if he was in any sort of way remorseful. Its your day, can you honestly sau to yourself that he should be the one to give you away. 

I agre with the comment above that your mother should be the one. She is the one who has raised you and cared for you. And unless you family has been magicaly sharing your life all this time they don’t have a single reason to say anything and you do not need to listen or care about what they say. This is the day that you will remeber the rest of your life, don’t let others decide what you should do. If the don’t like it, like yupmarried said, then thay can stay home. 

Good luck

Post # 7
Member
112 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

walk down that aisle by yourself and own it with your head held high!!! It can be very empowering. Your wedding day will be beautiful.

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