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I'm not highly critical of the way brides have their weddings. Everyone's different but I attended my relative's wedding this past weekend and was absolutely shocked that the terrible DJ, who was the bride's bro's friend, played 2 songs that had profanity in them. The ceremony was very lovely, yet, when I think of her wedding, I can't get help but think of the DJ and how club-like the reception was.
I didn't think there can be such a thing that's considered a no-no at weddings, but I think I just found one. Has anyone witnessed something at a wedding that you think is an absolute no-no?
i can't say. Honestly, I am not critical in the least, I am very laid-back. I guess I did go to one wedding that didn't really have a reception- the bride and groom left right away- it was like a picnic in a park/ potluck to go have sex. That was a little weird. They never came back, didn't eat with us, no dancing, nothing. We (even though BF at the time was the best man) ended up hitting the town after we ate. No beer, cake, just some weird salads. We went to a local bar and did karaoke and danced.
I don't like it when the DJ doesn't practice volume control during dinner. It makes no sense to be playing music so loudly at that point and it's really annoying as a guest! I want to actually hear and participate in the table conversation. I've been to a reception where guests kept asking the DJ to turn it down, but after a few minutes, the volume would go back up. I had to talk-shout to the person next to me. So lame!
I went to one wedding (I'm sure I have vented about this before) where I was the MOH and the bride had not gotten enough chairs for their guests-- intentionally! There were about 125 people attending, and they had only rented 75 chairs. The bride's logic was that "some people will be up dancing during the night/ getting food and drinks". SOOO I guess we were supposed to like jump into an empty chair when someone got up to dance?
It was a disaster. The bridal party arrived late to the reception (we were helping bustle) and we had nowhere to sit. We leaned against the wall and balanced our plates on our laps. Ridiculous. And so low class.
I've been to two weddings where I thought the bride and groom were clearly being inappropriate.
The first one, the bride was 3 months pregnant and she got really drunk before the ceremony and barely made it down the aisle.
Second, a family member had a private ceremony then invited everyone to a reception to be held a couple weeks later. They showed up 2 hours late for their own reception. 50 of us were sitting there waiting, tried calling them, no answer, the caterer trying to keep everything warm. A bunch of people ended up leaving, and those that stayed finally decided to just eat without them. When they finally showed up, no apology, no explanation, all they said is "Yeah, we're late a lot".
@Mighty Yeah, we're leaving that out. No reason to leave it up to chance.
I can't think of anything uber no no-ish, but I think not being able to keep the food warm is a bit of a no no as that is the caterer's job and how they make a living.
This thread is so funny! I should start one of things I did at weddings before I knew better...
@texaslawgirl: I've been to a wedding like that too, it was awful! 50 seats for 150 people - and of course the elderly guests and family got to sit in those. Standing in heels for 4 hours and trying to balance my purse, wrap, drink, and appetizer plate did not put me in a partying mood ... I don't think I would have minded as much if I was wearing more comfy shoes ... oh and if it wasn't on a Sunday night ....
I went to my cousins wedding and arrived about four days ahead of time. I never got to see her and only saw my cousin for about 5 minutes. During the reception they announced that there would be no receiving line as the couple wanted to go to each table and personally thank people. That sounds like a lovely idea, but they made it to five of their 30 or so tables and decided to go drink instead. The bride also had the DJ announce a "Thank You for the Gifts" mass message since she didn't want to mail out Thank-You notes. I thought it was kind of tacky and rude to the out-of-town guests like myself. I'm not saying that I needed days of my cousin's time, but it would have been nice to chat for an hour sometime during that week since I drove 14 hours to get there.
I've been to receptions that were club-like...but that's because that is what the bride and groom wanted. They wanted a big dance party. I don't see anything wrong with it, but perhaps their taste is music was just not "family friendly." Some people don't see that as wrong, some do. I'm in the middle. I think people shoudl do what they want, but personally I would not play a song that I thought would be very offensive to some guests.
It's a no-no when the guests wear club-like attire. There's always a few trashy family members around, but the super low cut, skin tight dresses and tacky light up heels usually are on my "omigosh did you SEE HER?!" list. Oh, and coveralls, haha.
I am having a club-like reception. If it is an absolute No No - OH Well! We are having 60 guests and 50 of them are between 24 and 32! It's going to be a PARTY to celebrate our marriage and we are going to celebrate in the same way that we celebrate everything else in our lives!
@ejs2y8: I know what u mean i have been to a wedding recently and there were few girls in fishnet stocking...short shorts..low cut tops and stripper hills..should i EVEN mention how they were dancing?
another no no is a long wait between ceremony and reception it is just very tiring unless there is comfortable place one couple made us wait for them in the hallway for over an hour with no chairs!
thu i have never been to one but i do not like cash bars unless MAYBE if there was wine on the tables at dinner? I do not drink myself so it would not matter to me :)
When my mom got re-married her new husband's sister came in jeans!! TACKY!!
Also, we are going to a wedding in June, the ceremony is at 2 and the reception is at 7:30. Can anyone explain the long gap?
i was at a ceremony where the groom was visibly drunk. i would say thats a big no-no.
it got even messier when he got to the reception (open bar, woohoo?).
I was at a wedding last summer where the ceremony was short and sweet, which was great, but then the wedding party took off to do photos for a couple hours. The guests were told there would be hayrides around the property to keep them occupied and happy. BUT the wedding party took the tractor/hayride over to their photos and it never came back. All that was left for the guests was a large bucket filled with ice, bottled water and sodas. There was nothing on the invite about the gap in the timing, and we were pretty much in the middle of nowhere, so we all just set up in the shade under trees and talked or had naps to keep ourselves amused. Eventually someone snuck into the hall and found apps set up, but we weren't sure if they were for when the wedding party came back or now or......... No one cared and they were pretty much devoured by the time the party came back from their photos. All of it was a bit of a mess.
THEN at dinner, we were sitting at a table a bit off to the side so we were actually behind the speakers, so we couldn't hear ANYTHING. We totally missed all the speeches, etc. It was weird. Bad DJ set up is inexcusable.
I went to an out of town wedding once where almost everyone there had flown in for the occasion and the church was right next to the hotel so no one rented cars. BUT the church was about 5 miles from the reception and they provided NO transportation! Only a limo to bring the bridal party from the church to the reception. The rest of the guests were standing outside the church for about an hour calling 411 to locate numbers for cabs and eventually got a few cabs to shuttle all the guests back and forth. I barely remember the rest of the wedding, but i remember being stuck there for an hour! Huge no no in my opinion.
I've been to weddings with profanity in the songs (usually they're just pop songs) and that doesn't bother me in the least. But I guess I'm of the mind that many radio stations don't bleep out the lesser profanities anymore, and most network TV stations allow a lot of words that were previously taboo, so it's not like it's something people have never heard before.
Biggest no no's for me - having absolutely no vegetarian food at the wedding and not offering another option when the couple knew non meat-eaters were coming. I understand that it's their day but MAN you kind of have to work at it to make your salad, sides, appetizers, and main entree all completely meat laden. That just seems like overkill and bad manners.
The other thing I absolutely hate is when the bridal party is allowed something major (I'm talking a meal or drinks when the reception is otherwise cake and punch) that the rest of the guests are not allowed. If you really want to cut your budget, why can't you feed the bridal party in private and then have them come out for cake and punch? Why make everyone watch you eat?
Last thing I can think of - my friend went to a wedding over the summer where the couple invited a bunch of her friends to the ceremony but not the reception. My friend was invited to both and had a ticket to present at the reception. She felt really awkward because the people that she knew there were not invited to the rest of the evening. I think that at some point, you just have to cut your ceremony guest list down if you don't have room at your reception.
A girl at my work just told us she was invited to a reception & she had to pay!!! On the invite it said: Adults $15/each & children $10/each. WTF!?!?
@worrywart: I think it's worse when the DJ plays the song that people have requested (with profanity) and then announces to the crowd that he typically wouldn't play such music; but it was requested. lol I guess that was his cover my a** statement!
I was appalled that my DJ played "Push It" at my wedding reception. I had created a song list on their website and told them to stick to the list. I'm mortified when I hear it playing on the wedding video but guests were up and dancing so it didn't offend some people.
Oh another wedding I went to they had Vodka and Whiskey fountains sitting out with carebear cups to fill them up with. I wouldn't mind, but the bride got so waster she started just licking the whiskey that was running from the fountain. I took that as my cue to leave unless I wanted to be included in the police report.
I went to a wedding where on the invitation, all it said was "reception and dancing to follow". The ceremony was at 5, and when it ended, we were ushered into a room where they were serving wine and had a cheese tray. No problem, we hung around for the cocktail hour, except we found out after standing there for 2 hours that that WAS the reception. Everyone was starving, so all 150 guests had to leave and go find something to eat.
I agree with the slutty/club dressing! You can party and dance in tasteful clothes just as easily! And all my friends and i are former NY club kids who still club it. How often do you get to be all decked out red carpet and black tie dresses? Take advantage of the occasion to look your best!!
I went to a wedding where right after the first dance, the bride's brother and the groom changed out their tuxes to put on football jerseys and watch the game!!
I think it's a NO-NO to get completely wasted at anyone's wedding (your own or someone else's). I went to a wedding where a female guest got SO drunk before dinner was even served. She vomited at her seat (onto the carpet), blacked out, and passed out for the rest of the evening! Ummm... yeah, not classy. 
I've gone to two weddings where I ended up just shaking my head. I was a bridesmaid in one of them. The ceremony went fine and the bridal party, parents, and grandparents stayed at the church for a bit (maybe 30 minutes) to take a few pictures. It was very simple, just a few posed shots. When we got to the reception, the guests were already eating...and some were done and getting ready to leave. I learned later that there were quite a few people who skipped the ceremony and went directly to the reception (no big deal). Because they were there early, they ate early and were done and ready to leave before the bride and groom even arrived.
The second was a wedding where the reception was to be a punch and cake reception in the church hall afterwards. That would have been fine, except the bride and groom and their parents didn't attend. When a bridesmaid was asked where they were, she said, "Oh, they all went out to dinner together."
ditto peanut and texaslawgirl. i went to a wedding where there were half as many chairs as people and it was awkward to stand in heels and try to eat. how on earth do you use your knife and fork and hold your plate at the same time! plus there were a lot of elderly people who were standing and that is just a major no no for me.
wow this is incredible! @missjay- i want to hear more about that wedding! That is terrible!
Ack, wrong topic. I still think that paying for a reception is incredibly tacky!
well. i guess im tacky. my cocktail reception was a club-like atmosphere. by 11, the DJ was playing songs with profanity and i didnt provide seating for 100% of guests. i think it all depends on the type of wedding you are planning and the type of audience you are inviting. i had a cocktail reception. the audience was adult and young. i dont think its a no-no at all.
i do think its a no-no to make a mental list of all the things at someone's wedding you dont like though.
Eh. A lot of these things don't really bother me.
I wouldn't care if the DJ played a song with one or two profane words in it. Chances are, grandma isn't paying attention to the lyrics. Now, something that is OVERTLY filthy, well, that's a different story. It also wouldn't bother me if someone else wore white to my wedding.
It would bug me on principle if there weren't any decent vegetarian options. I'm a total carnivore, but I still think that every menu should offer something for the veggies beyond salad and bread.
The biggest no-no that I've encountered was a reception that wasn't held in an accessible location - and the groom's brother had been in a wheelchair since birth! It was really difficult getting him and his chair up the narrow, rickety staircase to the venue.
Oh these are too funny. My cousin's first wedding ended in the police showing up because my other cousin decided to get in a fight with the groom. That was pretty bad.
I'm still in awe of the reception that the bride and groom didn't show up to and the couple asking people to ask for guests to pay their own way!!!
another no no is a long wait between ceremony and reception it is just very tiring
the ceremony is at 2 and the reception is at 7:30. Can anyone explain the long gap?
Many churches will only have weddings at 1 or 2 in the afternoon as a rule (usually because they have a regular evening mass at 4 pm and need the church cleaned up before then). Many reception halls do not open before 5 or 6.
Not a whole lot that a person can do about the gap unless they avoid a ceremony in the church of their choice.
I don't mind the gap between ceremony and reception as long as I'm aware of it before hand! However; If I attend a ceremony and then go to the reception site and have to sit and wait for 2 hours; then i'd be a little annoyed. I can handle 1/2 hour to an hour at most.
Wow! Some crazy ones on here, I really can't believe a couple would charge for the reception or just not go at all!
I think the number one all time no-no is showing up drunk or high at your own wedding ceremony. I'll have a mimosa or two while getting ready, but being impaired when you exchange vows is horrible.
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