Post # 1
Attended a friend’s wedding out of state yesterday. The wedding and ceremony were taking place in the same room (a Rec Room at a nursing home). The groom was greeting people at the door. I introduced myself and my fiancé and explained that I am good friends with the bride and was so excited to meet him and be there for their special day. In response to this, he gave me a strange look and said “uh…okay.”
Next, we found the seating chart and headed to our table- it was full with one empty seat. I asked the people if there was a way we could pull up an extra chair and they said no and that in fact the empty seat was “taken” and we could not sit there. Finally one woman admitted that her name was not on the seating chart so she would try to find another seat at a different table. The way the tables were arranged, they were so close together that some chairs were inaccessible because you couldn’t fit in between the two tables to get to them. The ceremony was about to start and we had nowhere to sit so we just stood awkwardly in the corner while everyone else sat.
After the ceremony i realized the seat they said was taken was still vacant. So I asked a man sitting next to it if he would switch so my fiancé and I could sit together and he said no because he was actually supposed to be sitting at the table next to us so he wanted to be close to those people. I asked if he would mind sitting at that table then and he seemed very angry and agreed to move.
The place had no air conditioning and was unbearably hot. It was about 90 degrees outside. We were just extremely uncomfortable. The guests at our table would not speak to us and when the bride and groom came around to talk to everyone I congratulated the groom again and he would not speak to us. As people went to the buffet line, there wasn’t enough space and since we were on the end of our table we just stood up because people kept bumping into us and asking us to move. We ended up leaving right after dinner during the bridal dance. I felt bad but we had a 4 hour drive ahead of us and were so uncomfortable that there was no point in staying. Ok so my question is, when I talk to my friend, should I just say we left early bc of the drive? I dont want to lie but I also don’t want her to feel bad.
Post # 3
Yikes. Difficult question. If I were the bride, I’d want to know who was being a jerk and made my guests so uncomfortable that they wanted to leave. But as a guest, I’d probably not want to make the bride feel bad by telling her something she can’t do anything about now.
Post # 4
Well, I think lying to a friend is always wrong, but I also think it serves no purpose to tell her that you think her wedding was “absolutely awful.” Do you think she actually noticed that you left after dinner? Honestly, I didn’t notice when any of my guests left, unless they came up to say good night.
Post # 5
Ugh. It’s tough b/c you don’t want to upset her. It’s not like she’s going to do it again next year and she can plan better. But you also don’t want her to think you were the jerk.
The rude guests…well that’s odd. But the buffet line, the reason you probably ultimately left, and the temperature, those were both kind of the “fault” of the bride and groom (or their parents).
I might just say I had a stomach issue.
Post # 6
I think I would just tell the bride that you had a long drive ahead of you but you were so happy to be there for her on her special day. And leave it at that.
but ugh, the whole thing sounded like a mess. what an awkward wedding!! (and who holds their ceremony and reception in a rec room of a nursing home?? who and why and all sorts of other good questions….)
Post # 7
There is nothing the bride can do at this point, so it would just be criticism rather than constructive criticism to tell her.
If it comes up, just say it was the drive. Honestly, it probably won’t come up, I’ve never had a bride grill me on why I left the time I did. I think you probably want to get it off your chest because it sounds like a lousy way to spend an 8 hour round trip drive, but just vent here instead.
Post # 8
Would she even ask why? If not, I wouldn’t even bring it up. In this case, I would absolutely tell her it was the drive or you had a headache or something. Telling her the wedding sucked is not going to accomplish anything. It’s not like she can really apologize for her guests shitty table seating manners… seriously, what was up with those people? -_-
Post # 9
I think it is best to say nothing! The bride only needs positive memories of her wedding. It is over and there is nothing that can be done now…leave it alone.
Post # 10
@jennygrl070: she probably didn’t even notice that you were gone until much later if at all. if it does come up, i wouldn’t give a time, just mention that you couldn’t stay too late due to the drive.
Post # 11
I wouldn’t say anything, and to be honest if I was in the same situation and someone actually asked me why I’d left early, I would fib. In this case, I think it is best to give some sort of personal excuse than actually inadvertently insult the bride, her wedding or her other guests.