Post # 1
I have been having dental problems for a long time. My teeth started acting up a few months ago, I didn’t think it was super serious and it could wait. My Fiance and I kept saying only 5 more months until we were married and I would be on his insurance. Great. Yesterday I woke up in quite a bit of pain and the right side of my face was swollen. I scheduled a dentist appointment and they told me I needed an emergency root canal and all 4 of my wisdom teeth needed to come out. My. Heart. DROPPED. The cost of all of these procedures is roughly $5000 since I do not have insurance. Our wedding is a little over 2 months away, 81 days to be exact. This couldn’t have happened at a worse time, we simply do not have $5000 for dental work. Not even close.
We have decided to get married this weeked in a court house so I can be placed on his insurance immediately and get my teeth taken care of. This is the last thing I would ever want to do. We do not plan on telling a soul. I am even going to ask whoever is “marrying” us not to say “I now pronounce you husband and wife” ect. If possible I don’t want him to say anything. I don’t want to acknowledge this as us getting married, I don’t want to celebrate, I want to pretend this isn’t even happening. I’ve always dreamed of getting married in front of all my friends and family, standing at the alter being pronounced husband and wife, and it just kills me for it not to be real. I don’t want the “wedding bliss” and “magic” to be gone on our wedding day since we would already be married. Am I crazy for feeling like this? Has anyone else been through something similar?
Post # 3
There may be a waiting period before you can have any work done under his coverage (make sure you check it out first), and most dental plans have a yearly cap for benefits. Major treatment is usually only covered at 50% as well, so you may have to study what you’ll really be getting by doing something just for the coverage. It may not make any sense to rush into things…
Post # 4
Haven’t been through something similar but just wanted to say that I’m sorry you have to go through this process just for the insurance aspect. It makes absolute complete sense to do it (obviously, who wants to pay that much for painful dental work?) but I can see where you’re coming from about the aspect of wanting your marriage to take place on your actual upcoming wedding day with friends and family.
I hope all goes well and you are in less pain soon!
Post # 5
Aww… don’t worry, I’m sure your day will be just as special. You are making a very wise, and rational decision. Just look at it like this: the court house will simply supply the paperwork aspect of the marriage and your wedding day will complete the marriage process with the spiritual and emotional aspects alongside the support of your family and friends. Don’t be bummed!! I would suggest though, make sure that once you’re on FI’s insurance that they will cover pre-existing conditions. It may not cover it, so then you’d be getting the paperwork done in vain.
Post # 6
That really sucks, I’m so sorry!
Post # 7
@ItWasntMe: I’m sorry I forgot to mention he has gone to his HR department and there is no waiting period once I am legally added to his insurance
Post # 8
i know half a dozen couples who did the same exact thing you’re doing and only told a handful of their closest friends, not parents. it worked out fine and not one of them felt cheated by having already legally been married. that part is only a piece of paper. do not let it ruin your big day. it is still going to be fabulous and you won’t have a huge chunk of debt hanging over your head because of stupid wisdom teeth! (mine are a huge pain in the ass at the moment but my dentist told me to wait until i have insurance.)
seriously don’t let this get you down, feel lucky that your Fiance has great insurance! it could always be worse. i wouldn’t even let myself be cheated out of “i now pronounce you.” that’s a really exciting and important part, it makes things feel real! it sucks and i understand completely but really, go on planning lilke it never happened and have your moment on your real wedding day.
Post # 9
@cayday19: Sorry about your teeth!! At least you can be placed on insurance.
While I do feel bad for you, I think you should try and put this into perspective. You are marrying the guy of your dreams. Weddings aren’t about the big party. You still can have that big celebration.
I’m the total opposite.. I’d hate to get married in front of people. I feel like it’s more of a personal, private thing.
Post # 10
=( I am so sorry! If it makes you feel any better this is just for a peice of paper. Your real wedding will be before your friends and family in a few months and I am sure it will be just as special! Good luck with the surgery!!!
Post # 12
@cayday19: Aw, I’m sorry you’re experiencing such frustration with your teeth. I wouldn’t get pretty distraught about having a small courthouse ceremony first though. So glad you don’t have to wait to get your teeth done and have to pay such a large amount of money. Your big day is going to be amazing and special regardless!
Post # 13
DHs ex passed away just shy of a month before our wedding, because there were kids involved we decided to push back our “wedding” and to get legally married. I was crushed, at first I was horrified that our “wedding” wouldn’t be special anymore. A year later we had our actual ceremony and reception. I was worried for nothing. You know it the moment that you first see your FH as you enter the ceremony, it hits you. I am sorry about your dental problems and I hope you feel better soon, but don’t worry about your wedding not being special because it will be. Think about it this way, it will be more special, you FH was willing to put everything else aside to make sure that you were taken care of first and formost. You are a lucky lady.
Post # 14
@cayday19: But is there an annual amount that they’ll cover? Most are only $1000./year (depends on the plan), and pre-existing conditions may also not be covered. If you go back to the dentist who saw you and diagnosed what you need, when he fills in the insurance claim and sends in the existing xrays as proof the work is needed, the dates will show that this was needed prior to your being added to the plan.
The root canal on the tooth is one thing, but that will also need to have a crown put on it too. They can range in price from $800.-1500. on top of it. If your wisdom teeth need to be surgically removed, the fee is also hgher than for simple extractions.
The point I’m trying to make is that the things you need to have done can certainly wait until after your wedding, unless you’re dying in pain. If you think the JOP wedding is something your heart is really heavy about, you do have options.
Post # 15
@ItWasntMe: The #1 I NEED done is my root canal. They said the infection has spread through my jaw bone and is eating away at my soft tissue. It’s not likely to happen, but if it goes into my blood stream it could be fatal, but that is rare. I know for a fact the insurance will cover my root canal, not 100% positive on wisdom teeth but those are not as severe as my needed a root canal.
Post # 16
Just to add – at the very least I’d get a second opinion on your wisdom teeth. My dentist has been trying to get me to take them out for the last 10 years. I refuse. I ask him if they’ll make my other teeth crooked and he says no. He just sighs and tells me to look after them and if I have any major pain to let him know. It’s the trend to take them out these days. Plenty of people have them in and are fine. Kinda like how it was standard to take tonsils out… now it’s wisdom teeth. I’d rather not spend a ton of cash on having them removed, having a week plus to heal etc. etc. no way.