Abstinence and church!

posted 2 years ago in Christian
Post # 2
Member
1201 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: A very pretty church.

Kacey23:  

The church I grew up in barely touched on the issue. I think it really depends on the denomination, the church leadership and the cultural context. Honesty and love were much more heavily emphasised in our church. Premarital sex probably wouldn’t have shocked anyone (except for maybe that particular brand of christian that enjoys being shocked, there’s at least one in every church), but cheating or lying wouldn’t have been considered nice. Unsurprisingly. Growing up I noticed that when I met someone who was also ‘christian’ I was no more likely to have values in common with them than anyone else, it’s a pretty “broad church” 

 

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 4 months ago by  Taiki.
Post # 4
Member
4483 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

Yeah, we were asked to sign an abstinence pledge, but whether or not we signed was between us and God. I neither signed nor held onto my V card until marriage, but I waited quite a while.

Post # 6
Member
1583 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Kacey23:  Sometimes mentioned in homilies but not very much. It depends on the priest (older ones seem to mention it more). We did the Marriage Prep Course a few months ago and some of the couples had children. Nothing was mentioned about abstinence at all. I’m Catholic btw.

Post # 7
Member
1878 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013 - Valparaiso, IN

Our church definitely does focus on it, and we don’t really get negative attendance results because of it. They teach that sex is a wonderful thing, that God reserved for marriage. 

Post # 8
Member
82 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I live in a liberal area and have gone to liberal churches (I’ve regularly attended seven different churches in my life, since I’ve worked in churches). Sexual abstinence has never been a value that any church I’ve been to has encouraged at all. Most of the churches I’ve been to had gay ministers before gay marriage was legal, so them saying sex outside of marriage was immoral would be them saying it was immoral for them to have sex at all!

Post # 11
Member
10489 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

Most of the ministers I know within my denomination don’t have an issue with pre-marital sex.  They put more emphasis on respect.

Post # 12
Member
1201 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: A very pretty church.

Kacey23: That’s v interesting, seems very cultural. I’ve attended a quite a few churches, ‘back sliding’ was to in their vocabulary.

Post # 13
Member
10988 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

This issue is MUCH bigger than the issue of pre-marital sex. 

The underlying issue is, what value do Christian pastors and church leaders place on the words found in Scripture? 

Do they believe that the Bible is the inerrent, Holy, unchanging, inspired-by-the-Holy-Spirit Word of God and, therefore, the foundation upon which all Christians must base their beliefs and conduct, OR do they believe it is simply a book written solely by a group of men that may have some relevance for today but also contains some very out-dated, man-made, discriminatory, male-dominated, no-longer-relevant passages that must either be discarded outright or heavily reinterpreted to retrofit their meaning to modern times?

THAT is the primary issue.

For pastors, church leaders, and other Christians who subscribe to the first view — of which I am one, there never has been, nor will there ever be, ANY compromise on the issue of pre-marital sex.  Scripture makes it very clear that sex outside of a God-ordained marriage relationship is sin. Period.

For those who subscribe to the latter view, there has been and continues to be a blatant disregard for what Scripture teaches on this issue and many, many other topics.  This view allows individual Christians and individual churches to decide which portions of Scripture they’ll embrace, and which they will simply disregard as being no longer relevant.  This is an extremely dangerous way of thinking that has its basis in a very strong deception, and the result is that perhaps millions of people who claim to be Christians are beginning to live by their own standards instead of God’s.

At its root, ANY thinking that is based on “How do I feel about this issue?” or “What do I think about this issue?” instead of “What does GOD’S WORD SAY about this issue?” is going to lead to wrong conclusions.

Post # 14
Member
1878 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013 - Valparaiso, IN

Kacey23:  The emphasis is on everyone in our church. and the way we look at it, if God is clear about something in the Bible, that’s how Christians need to be doing it. we understand that mistakes are made, but if you’re doing something that goes directly against God’s Word and you know it, there’s where we have a problem.

Post # 15
Member
1878 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013 - Valparaiso, IN

Brielle:  yep, yep and yep!

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