Post # 1
A little background: SO was raised in the faith, I am an adult convert from Catholicism. We’ve both been married before.
SO and I have decided to abstain from sex until we’re married. We decided this back in early Dec. 2013 and, to our credit, haven’t faltered yet. Initially we weren’t “toeing that line” when we first started dating back in June 2013, but rectified it with the help of our pastor and some close friends and have since been building a more solid foundation for our marriage in Christ.
Fastforward to today, the proposal is impending, he’s working on having the setting of the ring made and he’s said the proposal should be within a month or two. We’ve discussed a Nov. 2014 wedding, very small and simple. So my problem is… how do I hang in there bc I’m going MAD???!!!!
This is definitely more stressful and painful for me than him, he gets a little bit of a rush from denying myself things he likes (sick man!). Me on the other hand am bordering on depression or at least SIGNIFICANT sadness and loss at the nonexistance of our sexlife.
Post # 2
2ndTimeForWe: I’m a Christian as well, and I totally understand what you are going through. You gotta take it one day at a time. Don’t put yourselves in situations where you can slip. November is just a couple months away. Maybe you can move it up to August or September? You don’t need the ring to start planning, because really, you are already engaged.
Post # 3
Nov. would be the earliest because his out-of-state family will be in for the holidays etc. So to save everyone the expense of making two trips we’re trying to combine it. :-/
I’m doing my best. We spend A LOT of time with friends, and thats great and all, but I really do yearn for some “alone time” or “down time” for just him and I. He’s the type of person that thrives and gets energized by being around ppl all the time, I on the otherhand, need a day or two without my schedule being packed with social obligations. Sometimes it’d be nice to just occupy the same space with him without the interference of other ppl. But that seems impossible, as he rents his home so there are always roommates present and I have a roommate also at my place. So there’s just no place for “just us”.
Post # 4
- Wedding: December 2014 - The Villa
2ndTimeForWe: I’m giggling a little at your situation because is the exact opposite of me and my SO (we’re only 28 though) and we’ve never been married but we have a daughter and he has a son from a previous relationship. He is a new convert although he has been dabbling in Christianity his whole life. After we started wedding counseling in January we agreed that Christ was first and thusly, sex wasn’t a thing we could indulge. However, due to us having a daughter we live together. It is a lot easier for me than it is for him. He struggles. I pray with him and try not to put him in situations that would “rev” his engine. But he’s a man, so it doesn’t take much… honestly speaking… it’s hard for me too. But not in the I’m full of lust way… but it’s hard for me to see him truly sad. I mean I want to give him the world, but my relationship w/ Christ is first.
Occupying your time together w/ activities is a way to keep your mind/thoughts off of what you aren’t getting and honestly download a bible app. Whenever you feel the urge, just read a scripture. Remember why you are committed to the cause in the first place. One day at a time is the best advice… November is but a few short months away and then you can look back and what you were able to do and know that God has got your back through anything. *applause* to you on no faltering, wish I could say the same!
Post # 5
I would receomend to not put yourselfs in situations that will tempt you. Keep busy. I and FI are holdign off for sex until we get married. It is a challenge, just keeping mind off thoughts.
Post # 6
I’m a christian but I dont actually believe in abstinence as a way to show my love for God. I pray and I have faith but I’m not of the belief that having sex is a bad or wrong thing to do out of wedlock. I peronally think engagement is enough to allow yourselves sexual contact.
Post # 7
This thread is 9 months old and she said they were getting married in November 2014… I’d imagine this isn’t much of a problem for them anymore.
Post # 8
2ndTimeForWe: I just read your post, you & your FI or Husband should be commended for your patience and integrity, this is not only going to make your relationship much better because you both will have in mind that we were patient for being obedient to God, and you better believe blessings will come your way for that (Psa 84:11)!