Post # 1
Lately I haven’t been sleeping well. I usually sleep fine but lately almost all my dreams are haunted by the abuse I suffered from my in laws. Usually my dreams replay real-life events that happened and once again I am back in that place where they are screaming at me and scaring me and putting me in physical harm (I nearly broke my wrist getting away from them in one instance) After a few months in therapy and anti-anxiety medication, I’m still having these nightmares. I don’t have anyone to talk to about them so I thought to post here. I pray and hope they stop soon. Sleeping is not even restful anymore. :/ I haven’t seen these people in five months and it’s been a good peaceful break for us, but I still worry someday they’ll just show up as I know they are still trying to get to Darling Husband and get inside our marriage in a bad way. This won’t happen but it still scares me, I know I’m not powerless but these people have seriously f’d me up.
Post # 3
I am so sorry, that sounds like a really rough situation to be in. What calming methods have you tried? Medication and therapy are great but they can only go so far. I would reccomend exploring a couple of different types like guided meditation or glitter jars.
Post # 4
Ugh, what a crappy situation. I couldn’t even imagine. 🙁 If they’ve physically harmed you, could you get a restraining order? I know that they do very little to protect the victim but atleast maybe it would deter them from contacting you.
Post # 5
I’m sorry you’re going through this 🙁 It does take some time, but you’re taking the right steps. Talk to Darling Husband, talking it out with someone who understands can really help.
Have you thought about moving further away? I know it’s extreme, but it may put you more at ease.
Post # 6
I doubt they will just show up at our door but you never know. I did have a restraining order on them while I was at school. Honestly moving will help a lot, we’ve already changed our phone numbers. Thanks!
I mainly try to keep busy during the day and my mind occupied right before bed by reading or cleaning or watching tv when I can. Getting out helps a lot so does exercise.
Post # 7
What a terrible situation.
Please, talk to your Darling Husband about this.
You really DO need to talk to somebody about this.
You should not have yo live in fear.
Please, pm me any time if you just need to vent.
Post # 8
Are you still in therapy? I think that would be a really important thing to continue. I was in an abusive relationship and it took me years to quit having the nightmares (it actually didn’t stop until he passed away). Looking back I wish I would have talked with someone and not let it haunt me for so long.
Post # 9
This is a symptom of PTSD and from what you’ve experienced, it could indeed be possible that this is what you are going through. Are you seeing a therapist? Perhaps you could bring this up with them. Having a correct diagnosis to work with is really helpful. I’m not saying this is what you have or if you have anything at all but it’s worth checking out with a professional.
Post # 10
If your dh is on board , you could serve them with a do not contact ( there’s a name for this but it’s 4 am…) and a restraining order. Bacivky it’s a leave us the f alone ortYour go to jail.
Also is there a victims resource center near you? While most of those cases are sexual and domestic cases, they have support groups that might help. Hugs!!!
Post # 11
You are stronger than you think. You will get through this. These nightmares will stop soon.
Say a small prayer before you go to bed.
Meditate, do yoga DAILY. At least 30 mins.
Try to do yard work, working out or anything that will exhaust you. This sleep from exhaustion barely catches any dreams/nightmares, etc.
Inform your local police station abt this. So INCASE they were to come over and start arguments and you had to call the polic, they would know what the eff is going on and can provide better assistance to you.
Try and get a restraining order. You will feel ‘safer’.
Post # 12
OMG, sounds awful. I am sorry this is happening/happened to you. Sending hugs, you guys will get through this!
Post # 13
I know this is from four months ago but I re-visited some of my old posts to see if anything has changed since I wrote it. My heart is still touched by the replies I received. Four months after I wrote this, things still aren’t the best. 🙁
Darling Husband and I can’t afford a therapist right now and I’m still having anxiety, nightmares involving my abusive in laws. It has been nine months since I have seen them or heard from them. I have changed my phone number and so has Darling Husband, their contact is limited to emailing Darling Husband and even so he has limited this to talking about legal things he is trying to clear up right now.
We have been married for almost a year and the abuse has been over a year and a few months ago. In response to our desire for an apology and for them to work on things from their end, there is only silence and more manipulation. We are slowly telling his extended family the truth as the topic arises why we haven’t visited DH’s parents in over a year and a half.
Right now we are TTC (which is why I spend most of my ‘bee’ time on the TTC board). This will be our first child together and I am so terribly excited. 🙂 I want this to be a happy time for us to focus on our own family and expanding it as we welcome a new baby hopefully in the next year or so!
Darling Husband doesn’t want his family in our lives at all, right now I think he’s going to tell his family with a generic, short and sweet email when we are expecting. While it makes me sad that they have shown no interest in being in their son’s life, and no intention of stopping their verbal and emotional abuse- I am happy that my husband stated he will take care of them and prevent them from hurting me in any way.
I miscarried back in April, while this may have been due to a BCP fluke, I wonder if my emotional trauma had a hand in ending this pregnancy. I am scared and worried about this time we’re TTC as well. I wouldn’t put it past them to show up at our doorstep one day and demand to be let in to see their grandbaby or me while I am pregnant.
Right now I am trying to relax and focus on the happiness I have since we cut them out of our immediate lives. It has been a time of healing as well as growing us closer together in spite of all the bad feelings and lies my in laws have spread about me. In taking charge of my safety and emotional health, I feel more empowered than I did previously…. but I’m still nervous.
Thanks for reading this update and feel free to message me or let me know if it’s okay to message you over the next few months regarding this. I feel I could really use support and as Darling Husband and I just moved to a new area I feel alone.