(Closed) abusive adopted parents

posted 8 years ago in Parenting
Post # 3
Member
5670 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

I have no clue but this make me sick when I heard about it. It’s just crazy since there are so many people out there who want children and are unable to have them and then these crazy people adopt but don’t seem to have ever wanted the children. I just hope that things like this don’t make it so much more difficult to adopt for those who really want a child.

Post # 4
Member
2090 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

My mom had a friend (used to be a best friend), who waited almost 15 years to adopt a baby. She wanted an infant, and wasn’t interested in any child older than newborn. She also wanted a US baby – which is in part what took her so long to get a baby.

I don’t know what happened, or what she thought motherhood would be like, but this woman should NEVER have adopted a child. She told my mom at one point that she was “sick of being a mother” and “never would have guessed being a mother was such a thankless job”. 🙁

To our knowledge, she has never been physically abusive to her daughter, but she was/is extremely emotionally abusive and unavailable. Her daughter is now 14, has dropped out of school and lives with her boyfriend and his parents. My mom’s ex-friend stops by their house once a week and gives the bf’s mom a check for “taking care of ___”.

I think some people have a dreamy (crazy) idea of what motherhood will be like – they just think about a sweet little baby, being the center of attention, or think that the child will be thankful everyday for being adopted and “saved”.
 
Both my mom and I feel extremely bad for this girl, it is sad – her birth mother was a teen, and gave her up so she could have a better life than the teen mom could provide. Child abuse and animal abuse both make me so sad, and so angry.

Post # 5
Member
1566 posts
Bumble bee

To simplify the issue, they do this because kids adopted from Russia are very often severely abused, which leaves them scarred for life. These kids scream nonstop, hit their parents and siblings, often have a ton of physical and mental health problems because their biological mother was an alcoholic. The kids are often so overwhelming to the families because they just can’t control them – can’t get them to stop screaming, destroying things, and being violent towards family members. They feel like they’ve spent a ton of money and got a child who is anything but normal. It’s not the kids’ fault – they are treated horribly in the orphanages, and, as I mentioned before, are born with health problems. But you can also see the parents’ point of view. 

I don’t know if there is a solution to this issue. But it is SO painful to me to read about this. I know a few Russian kids who were adopted, and at best, they have social problems and attachment issues. It’s a really sad situation for all involved. 

Post # 6
Member
455 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I work in the child welfare side of the world – and to be honest I don’t know why the media focuses on Russian adopted children being abused.  Some of the worst cases of abuse I’ve seen were adoptive parents abusing their (American born) children.  Despite my experiences I could never tell you why this happens. People suck?

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