(Closed) Acceptable to Invite an Ex?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Can I invite this person?
    Sounds okay : (13 votes)
    29 %
    What are you thinking?! : (31 votes)
    69 %
    other (please explain) : (1 votes)
    2 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3162 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I feel like if either party still has feelings for the other, it’s not OK. If it was just a college casual hook-up thing on BOTH of your parts and now you’re over it and just friends, that is OK, but since you think he has feelings for you still I think you should just not invite the ex.

    What makes you think he still has feelings for you, btw? Has he said/done anything or is this speculation?

    Post # 4
    Member
    860 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I don’t know.  I think it is ok to invite exes that you are friendly with. 

    But you say that you assume this ex has feelings for you.  Personally, I would avoid hanging out with anyone that I thought had romantic feelings for me.  I don’t know if you hang out with this ex a lot, but if so, I think that’s a bigger issue than just inviting him to the wedding.

    Post # 5
    Member
    7175 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    I’d say if you think he has feeling for you, then it isn’t appropriate.  But, are you sure of this?  ie: has he said anything to you or a mutual friend about it?

    Post # 6
    Member
    8354 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2011

    I agree with kittyachi.

    Post # 7
    Member
    3564 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    Why do you think he has feelings for you? If he does, then I feel a little iffy about it. BUt we’re inviting a guy that I dated in college–but he’s coming with his very serious girlfriend, so I don’t feel weird about it at all.

    Post # 8
    Member
    5670 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2010

    So he still has feeling for you? Do you see him regularly?

    I dated a friend of mine very briefly and we have both moved past it and he is coming to our wedding with his current girl friends. Since we are friends FI knows him as well and I would never think about not inviting him. However if you don’t see each other regularly and you know he still has feeling then I would have to lean towards no.

    Post # 10
    Member
    6661 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2010

    Even though your FI doesn’t care, I think it’s disrespectful to him. This isn’t some party you’re throwing, it’s yoru wedding and the marriage needs to start off on a good note – without any potential bad relationships invited.

    Post # 11
    Member
    4765 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2011 - Vintage Villas

    Personally I feel like as long as you and your fiance are both completely okay with it, there isn’t a problem.

    Post # 13
    Member
    5978 posts
    Bee Keeper

    @moderndaisy: I 100% agree with you. It doesn’t matter that your FI doesn’t care that he’s coming or not. The fact that you have speculation that he may have feelings for you and you’re still inviting him shows disrespect towards your FI. What is to be gained by having him there?

    Not to mention, I don’t know if I would come if I were the friend…especially if I still had feelings for you. No better way to rub it in my face than invite me to the wedding…

    Post # 16
    Member
    5670 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2010

    Can I ask why you would want to invite someone thatyou haven’t seen since college, whether they are an ex boyfriend or not? Do you think he may be taken back by the invite?

    The topic ‘Acceptable to Invite an Ex?’ is closed to new replies.

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