(Closed) Accepting a used ring from broken engagement?

posted 5 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
Member
983 posts
Busy bee

Never.  I want something that is from my FI to Me..that was meant for me and me only.  I think you just want the engagement so bad that you don’t care where it comes from.  I think that you’d rather have something on your finger for the rest of your life that means something, to have something that your FI picked out for YOU.

but, that’s my opinion. When it comes to something sentimental like that, and a purchase/investment like that, I’m a little picky and personal about it.

Post # 4
Member
2295 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

This wouldn’t bother me (since it wasn’t your BF’s ex – I don’t mind “used” rings) – BUT, I can totally understand why it would bother you.

YES, you should speak up. Drop it into conversation that you would not want a second-hand ring, no matter how beautiful. He is not a mind-reader, and this is a chance to practice telling him what you need/want. Be clear and straightforward. Guys tend to appreciate it.

Post # 5
Member
3830 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Meh, honestly i dont know if that would bother me much. What if he purchased it and had it redesigned or just used the centre stone? That would be fine in my opinion. 

But speak up and tell him that it would bother you. Guys dont think things through sometimes. 

Post # 6
Member
271 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I would take a used ring if I liked the style.  I’m not weirded out by it just because it was bought for someone else…but it better look brand new if I’m going to get it.

That said, if it bothers you, ask your bf to get you a new one.  No fancy ring is worth the negative feelings you’re talking about!

Post # 7
Member
556 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

I think you should talk to your SO. See, it can be a great deal to buy his friend ring, an then sell it, and buy you a new one. :S 

Etheir way, I think you should talk to him and say something about how you are feeling. Maybe he didn’t even thought of that and you are ansious without reason.

Or maybe he thought you would be ok with it. So, definatly talk to him. 

Post # 8
Member
14317 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

It seems a little weird to use a friends exact right like that.  I’d have no problem with buying his stone and resetting it though for the right price.

Post # 9
Member
2878 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 1996

It doesn’t matter if other people would care about this or not! You clearly DO care, so you should say something super-quick to your BF. What’s the important thing to you? That he picks it out from amongst many at a store? That it’s white gold or yellow gold? Could you maybe choose a local store (via recommendations or reading Yelp reviews) and tell him you’d love it if he’d buy your ring from there? Is it important that the ring be under warranty? If you don’t want to tell BF that you don’t want Frank’s ex-FI’s ring, you can come up with some other reason that will limit him without being that specific.

Post # 10
Member
160 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 1997

It seems like it bothers you – so do what you need to do!  However, if the ring is beautiful and your fiance gets a good deal, you could look at it this way.  You’re giving a great ring a second chance to be worn and loved.  You’re helping out a friend who would certainly like to recoup some of the money spent on the ring. I don’t believe in a bad luck ring!

Post # 11
Member
2907 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I don’t think this would bother me – it might be a good, practical way to get a nicer ring than your SO could have bought retail! But it depends on a lot of things – like, will you ever see your friend’s ex-fiance again? Do you have mutual friends who might be like, “Um… is that X’s ring?” That would weird me out. In general, though, I don’t think physical objects can really have bad luck attached to them – but if you do feel that way, tell your SO to keep looking. 

Post # 13
Member
1177 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

It definitely wouldn’t bother me IF I like the ring, but I’m not at all superstitious. It’s an inanimate object. For all I know, my ring was bought and returned 100 times before I got it.

Post # 14
Member
1784 posts
Buzzing bee

As a thought experiment … no right or wrong answer … would you be as concerned if he went to an antique store and purchased a lovely estate piece, nice old miner’s cut diamond and platinum piece? (Assume you like antique looking styles) 

I guess I’m trying to get at, is pre-owned jewelery always a problem, or is it just something that is recent and with someone you knew?

 

Post # 15
Member
5243 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@MrsPHopefully:  NEVER EVER!! One of fiances friends bought his fiance a diamond from a failed engagement and used the diamond to make his own ring for her but I still dont like the idea…I guess I’m just superstitious but I feel like the ring would hold a bad omen. I would want to have my own brand new ring that was made and bought for me only. I really dont even thinks she knows that the diamond is a recycled one either….Eeekkk!

Post # 16
Member
2376 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Before you worry too much, it’s possible your SO mentioned to Frank while they were hanging out that he was planning to propose.  And in the context of that conversation, Frank showed him the ring that he had given his ex-fiance.  It’s also likely that your SO is fishing for hints and direction.  Something to the effect of ‘oh, her ring was pretty but I think I like something more like this’. 

That being said, if he does want to buy the ring off Frank, you can always have it restyled.  Keep the stones and set them in something that suits you.

The topic ‘Accepting a used ring from broken engagement?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors