Post # 1
My fiance and I are looking at venues and trying to nail down a date for our 2014 wedding. So far, we found a chapel we like and it’s on campus where we both went to college. We are having trouble finding a reception venue we like that is close enough to the chapel. My fiance’s mother has scoped out some venues as well and she looked at one we ruled out earlier as too expensive. She found out about some seasonal discounts, but it still costs more than I would like to pay for a reception. Both sets of parents are helping us pay for the wedding, but I still don’t feel like I need to max out our wedding budget if it’s not necessary-the whole it’s-only-one-day logic. My fiance’s mother said she would kick in a bit more to help pay for the more expensive venue and while it’s gorgeous and would make my life so much easier (besides the location, they take care of decorations and parking and such), I don’t know if I’m ok with spending that much.
I know she offered it but is it weird to have reservations about accepting it? Someone told me I should look at it like them paying it forward-their parents helped them so they can help us so we can help our kids someday. I’m not generally a person who spends a lot of money on things. But, it’s not my money. Not that they would be paying for the whole reception, but still. I’m feeling really conflicted! Any advice?
Post # 3
@organizedchaos: I would feel the same way – I’d have reservations about it all! Like I owed them something or had to display over the top gratitude or something. I’m not used to being handed things!
Post # 4
@organizedchaos: I hear you. My family never ever talks about money and my parents are more comfortable just paying for things as they come (meaning when we’re about to hand over the credit card my mom will stop and say “oh let me get this”) but I’d rather have a set limit and set budget.
I’d breify look around to see if there’s another venue (if you haven’t already) and if it really is the best option then let your mom put in a bit more. You don’t have to feel guilty about it if you’ve done your due diligence and really looked for an alternative. She’ll be ok with the money once she sees how happy you are on the day.
Post # 5
Go with what is going to make things for you EASIER and keep stress off of you. We have decided to pay for everything on our own but the Fiance parents have helped up with the down payments on everything and I’m so thankful! It cost a lot to put a down payment on everything you need to just hold the date. Accept the help on the little things, plus it will let them feel like they are helping/involved.
Post # 6
Graciously accept their help. It’s not about money, it’s about them showing you that they care and want to be involved. Give yourself this – let your life be easier. Planning a wedding is hard enough!
Post # 7
@MrsTVLover: +1 “Give yourself this – let your life be easier.”
They help decorate and work out parking?! Ummm…yes.
Post # 8
Depends on your relationships with your parents! My sisters and I did not accept help from ours, as they would put conditions on the money–in essence, it would give them a license to have things more their way. There would be issues with amounts as well (assuming parents are divorced).
I’m only mentioning this as noone has yet said anything in this thread about considering the drama factor if the contribution amount increases. There WILL be line items in your budget that will end up costing more, hopefully some that will cost less too.