(Closed) Accepting his timeline

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
486 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

Hey there! I’m in a similar situation – ish. Last summer my SO said a year or 2, but probabaly less than 3. However, in the past when he said next year, it turned into 2 years… So I don’t take his timelines seriously anymore because he doesn’t know how long Anything takes lol So this summer, technically, we will have reached the minimum end of our timeline, but I think it might take longer than that. 

Does your SO have certain markers or milestones he’s trying to reach? My SO said after he gets his own apartment. Hopefully he’ll start apartment hunting in just a few months (we decided summer was a good time for it). So on the one hand, a bunch of his savings will go into that… but on the other hand, I think once he sees how nice it is to have me constantly at his place, it might move things along quicker lol (Or at least I hope). 

I sort of have my own markers too. I still have quite a bit of school left, so I can’t even tell how an engagement would fit into that. It makes sense to wait til I’m done (grad school, fyi), but being engaged would also be nice… 

What would be your ideal timeline? (Factoring in his reasons for waiting)

Post # 4
Member
391 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

If he’s in the middle of schooling it may very well be the reason why he gave you a timeline. Also, some people need 2-3 years to completely get settled in their careers as well. With many new grads these days we have a few people with fresh degrees but no work.

Post # 5
Member
1541 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

@sparky263:  I’m in a similar situation. Our 6 year anniversary is June and I have basically a 2 year timeline. The thing for us is that I went back to school. I’m just finishing my 1st of 4 years, so I don’t have much financially to contribute. He says we will be married by the summer I graduate in 3 years and we want a 1 year engagement. Last year I really started getting the wedding itch and at that point, I had a 3 year timeline, which seemed way too long for me! It was killing me at the time.

Recently, I’ve been getting a feeling like it may come sooner than the 2 year mark. He really wants it to be a surprise, so I won’t be one of the bees who knows when he has a ring or a specific month when it will happen.

Last time we had a talk, we discussed getting married while I was in school. He also has been emphasizing the importance of our upcoming anniversary, so I’m hoping it’ll happen then. We shall see!

Post # 8
Member
1106 posts
Bumble bee

@sparky263:  Well, I don’t have the same situation but last year, SO said that I would have something before our 3 year anniversary, but now he is less sure than he was before.  I would be very happy with a timeline, but he’s not comfortable giving me one so I may end with 2 years to go.  I will still stay with him, but it is hard when we’ve expecting it.  Good luck! Right now I’m distracting myself from knowing it is not going to happen by focusing on planning my graduation and looking for a job and also studying for the tests I need to take to get certified for my job.

Post # 9
Member
90 posts
Worker bee

@sparky263:  My boyfriend gave me the same timeline in February. I was so disappointed! His reasons for wanting to wait are good: he wants to wait until he gets a job (he’s just finishing up school) and has been in it for a year so that we have some financial security. We have NO money right now and would be paying for the wedding ourselves, so it makes sense. But I’m in my mid-thirties and we’ve been together almost three years, and I am feeling so impatient to move on to the next stage in our lives! I don’t care if it’s a small, low-budget wedding; I just want it to happen! Sigh…

Anyhow, you are totally not alone.

Post # 10
Member
120 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I dont have a massive timeline. We recently bought a house and i was told he wants a few months to settle in then he got a new job and he has a 3 month probation period so he wants to wait until thats over before he buys the ring. He has had me pick out the ring already and told me it will happen before september 12th so i am very impatient. 

 

I couldnt deal with a timeline of over a year it would feel like forever to me but well done to you ladies who have waited or are waiting that long 

Post # 11
Member
1603 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

i think that timelines are good for a general idea, but you should try not to get too attached to a strict and specific time.

My boyfriend and I have been together (off and on) for TEN years! But we have been solidly back together for the last 4. Before we lived together, he said that he thought 6 months – 1 year of living together would be the timeline for getting engaged. Well, we have been living together for 9 months now, and I’m almost positive I won’t see a ring in the next 3 months! He has now said that he thinks by the end of this year.

It’s been really hard for me, because at this point I am SERIOUSLY feeling the itch. But I try and remind myself that whether we get married or not, I will want to be with him. I would be ECSTATIC to have the ring and start planning, but I AM currently happy being and living together. I DO believe it will eventually happen. I just have to trust in him, and know that when the time is right he will propose!

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