Post # 1
My mother gave me a set of very sweet Swarovski jewelry the first time I got married. They’ve been away in a box ever since, but everytime I happen to see them I remember how much I like them (despite their sad, tarnished state at the moment).
In talking to my mom about what jewelry I would wear this time, she asked why I don’t just wear those pieces since they’re exactly what I’m describing I want anyway. I had never considered it, because they are from my previous (read: failed) marriage, so why would I want to introduce that into my upcoming wedding day. She replied, if that was the case, why have I even kept them at all?
I have since thought about putting them through a sweetgrass/sage smudge ritual, cleansing out negative residuals of my previous marriage, and reintroducing them into my current life, and then wearing them on my wedding day.
Would you? Or would you just get rid of the pieces entirely?
Post # 3
If it was your wedding ring, I’d say no, but for this I’d say it’s totally fine!
Post # 4
I’m not one to be that superstitious about these things, so if you love them and they’re ideal for the look you want, why not? Plus, you can also see them as a gift from mom to you, rather than as symbolic of the first marriage.
They are, in the end, just things.
Post # 5
I’d wear them. If the sage helps you get passed the first marriage thing i would totally do it. Its not like it was a wedding ring and it wasn’t gifted to you by your first husband. i say go for it if you love them!
Post # 6
@gertrude: Since you already love these pieces and they were a gift to you from your mother, I don’t see the harm in wearing them again.
I love your idea about smudging with sage to clear them of the past.
If you don’t mind my asking, do you have a specific ritual that you use? I’m learning about this kind of thing and would love more info.
Post # 7
@Sunfire: I think smudging is as individual as the person. I learned my process from someone who is no longer in my life, and adapted it to my own needs and meanings. I don’t think there’s a wrong way!
It’s very personal to me, but I will share a few things that I think are key. 1) Personal items that are meaningful to you on your altar. 2) Earth, fire, light, water – I accomplish this with a small potted plant or something cut from my garden, a votive candle (different colors for different purposes) atop a small mirror to reflect light, and a small vessel for water. I sometimes include a textile. 3) Of course, the thing you want to purify. 4) I speak my words silently, in my head. 5) After the sage smudge has been concluded, I do a sweet grass smudge, to open a passageway for good and light into/onto the thing I’ve just cleansed.
ETA: #4 isn’t really key, now that I look at it. It’s just how I do it.
Post # 9
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
The jewelry was a gift given in love, by a person you love. I think it’s fine to wear them (I really like the idea of the sage smudge)
My parents are divorced, and I’m wearing my Mom’s garter for my old & blue. It was a failed marriage, but without that marriage, I wouldn’t be here- I was a product and a success of that marriage. So I’m a firm believer that you can give items new associations.
Post # 10
@rebwana: I’m a firm believer that you can give items new associations. <— Perfect. Thanks for that!
Post # 11
@gertrude: Thank you so very much for the information. I love your ritual. I tend to smudge silently, too; I sometimes walk around my house with the burning sage in an abalone shell.
I can think of a couple of things in need of cleansing so I’m planning a ritual soon. I don’t have an altar that’s set up all the time (because of lack of space) but I do have a beautiful leather chest with all my spiritual tools. I always make sure to include Spirit, earth, air, fire, and water elements when I set up. It’s a beautiful practice, I always feel peaceful and relaxed afterwards. The entire thing is calming to me. I also make my own loose incense from herbs, resins and essential oils, for my own use only.
How did you get interested in this? (Sorry for threadjacking but at least you’re the OP, lol).
Post # 12
Ironically…it was my former mother in law that introduced me to it. She was a non-religious but highly spiritual person (and assumedly still is, though we lost contact many years ago). It came to me at a time when I really needed peace, and needed to deal with some heavy things going on in my life. Along with this she taught me the benefits of meditation, and of self-love and forgiveness. I know I would have found these things on my own at some point, but it turns out that She was the person who needed to teach it to me, and it is one of the key reasons our paths crossed. She was intended to bring me this part of my life regardless of how long or how short we were to be connected. I do miss her though.
To clarify, I am not heavily into it. I wouldn’t call myself wiccan, nor do I practice in any organized fashion. It’s personal unto me, and it gives me peace in times and in places where I need it.
Post # 13
Also, I don’t have a dedicated altar either. Once I once-and-for-all move into my beau’s house 100%, I have a room that will be my own personal space (!!!) where I intend to assemble something a bit more permanent.
Post # 14
I would wear them! They’re from your mom, not your ex
Post # 15
I have a personal motto for just situations such as this:
Why waste good jewelry?
As I see your wedding has already happened, I hope whatever you wore made you feel radiant.