Post # 1
Regular poster going anon for this one. let me start by saying I HATE group texts on the iPhone! DH and I are so excited as we just found got a BFP last week. The plan was to hold off on telling anyone until after our 8 week appointment. We’ll my MIL just loves group texts and she sent one to me, DH, SIL and her fiancé earlier today. I didn’t see that one and I was in the middle of doing something when the notification on my phone showed a text from DH saying “I love you mom”. He keeps calling me “mommy” and “pregnant girl” so I responded “love you too baby daddy”. All of a sudden I have texts from him (separately) going “are you serious!?!? Look what you just wrote!!!”
We tried to quickly cover claiming it was an inside joke about our dog (semi believable since we have a voice and whole personality for her) but OMG!! I hate group texts for this reason. We are having dinner with all of them tomorrow too and going to a party on Saturday so I feel like they will be watching like a hawk to see if I’m drinking! Should we just tell them tomorrow at dinner or try to play it off for another month?
on another note, does anyone have any funny stories like this to make me feel better? I know one day we will laugh about it But tonight I’m almost in tears!
Post # 2
Pregnancybrain: file this under reply vs. reply all.
Just drink soda water with a twist of lime. They will think it’s vodka soda. Or drink grape juice with sparkling water. That looks like wine spritzer. Sparkling apple juice looks like cider.
Tell when you’re ready.
Post # 3
I strongly encourage you to not tell other people until 12 weeks. I had a pretty healthy pregnancy so we couldn’t hold it in and told them at 10 weeks. My FSIL waited until 12 weeks on Thanksgiving to tell us they were pregnant. I didn’t post it on fb untill I was 17 or 18 weeks or so. They said wait 12 weeks cause of the risk of miscarriges decreases just for ease of mind.
Post # 4
Tell when you want to tell. I personally think the 12-week-rule is stupid. Miscarriages are very common; they are nothing to be ashamed about. I wish more women would be open and honest about it when it happens, so those going through the same thing didn’t feel so alone. Not to mention a loss can happen at ANY time in the pregnancy, even though your odds do drop considerably after the 12-week mark.
If you are comfortable telling them now, then tell them. If you would prefer not to tell them now, then don’t. Don’t let some arbitary “rule” decide for you. I had originally planned to announce right away, but because we found out a few weeks before Father’s Day we changed our plans, had the grandparents-to-be and SIL over for a Father’s Day BBQ and announced then. I was seven weeks at the time.
Post # 5
Pregnancybrain: I did something similar and spilled the beans on our engagement to FMIL before we announced it! (I accidently sent her a pic of the ring!!!) luckily it was a close up and I was able to pass it off as a ‘friends’ ring but it was a close call lol
Drink something like lemonade/soda water and ask them to put it in a short glass with a straw so it looks alcoholic! If they figure out it’s not, tell them you’re on antibiotics or something and the dr advised you not to drink… you may get a few sus looks for a while but if you keep it hush hush until you’re ready to announce it, hopefully they’ll forget about it in the meantime!
Post # 6
Miss Apricot: Agreed. I’ll be telling people earlier as if something did happen, I would want people to understand the situation. I guess everyone has their own feelings on this but I agree you don’t have to follow the 12 week thing super strictly!
Post # 7
We told people early, really early. It’s what worked for us. We were excited and our close friends and family knew we were trying for awhile. If anything were to happen, we would want their support and to not go through anything alone. Plus at almost 7 weeks my nausea is pretty hard to hide! LOL
I think the 12 week rule is personal preference. I read something the other day that said waiting for 12 weeks was almost like waiting for your baby to die versus celebrating the life you currently have… not saying that’s what everyone feels, just an interesting perspective.
Do whatever works best for you and your husband.
Post # 8
Pregnancybrain: UGH +1000…. Ive had this with a few diff people. Not the prego thing but been in a group text with DH and SIL and then accidentally sent “dh” a text that was just about to lead into something about his family we needed to talk about…..THANK GOD I noticed the top looked weird before I continued :s
Then just recently after we announced we both got a congrats text from DH’s friends gf…..(slightly awkward because they were/are on again off again and I later that night texted DH something cutsie and embarassing …..sent…… noticed after and then texted again “HEY _____ sorry…. that was meant for DH….heh heh heh…..” (nervous laugh). From then on I immediatly DELETE the entire convo if someone randomly does a group text!! ARGH
I know mine arnt as “holy shit” as the were prego thing but just know your not alone lol.
Post # 9
Pregnancybrain: oh and if your going OUT for dinner just go to the bathroom and pull the waitress aside or slip her a note saying “hey Im prego and they suspect but I really dont want them to know can you bring me my orders without alcohol”
For the party….are you bringing your own drinks? (like a houseparty) You can always just accept a drink if someone is providing/making them and pretend to sip on it and just have DH grab it occasionally and take a big swig out of it or slip into the bathroom and dump some out. If its beer thats easy… cause you can replace it with water (even there) and no one will know. I actually filled an empty vodka bottle with water (because we always have people over to our house) but I never needed to use it.
Either way… if doing any of that is too much work just take the drink and have it in your hand…..accept it with a nice big YES lol…as you said they will be initially looking for you to not accept and use some excuse like “oh Im on antibiotics”….at this point because of the text those probably wont work. If you take it they will be like “oh…ok”… then they probably wont pay as much attention, and then just dump some out when you have the opportunity….just because you take a drink doesnt mean you have to drink it 😉
Post # 10
Pregnancybrain: I agree with the PPs that you can “pretend” drink and just tell them when YOU are ready. Whether that be 8 weeks or 8 months — that’s obviously your decision. My question is, however, if they outright ask you in front of everyone what that text was about or if they make one of those probing half-jokes (I HATE THOSE WITH MY WHOLE HEART!) ala “Soooo pregnancybrain, baby daddy, huh? Is there something we should knoooooooow?” are you guys going to lie or are you going to admit it? If it were my family, I wouldn’t be so worried about them watching my drinking like a hawk as I would be about them outright asking me.
PS. I havent had any of those group text fails but I often times text the wrong thing to the wrong people. I dont know why I’m not more careful but I’ll randomly text I love you to my sister instead of my husband in the middle of a totally normal non-loving conversation. Haha! She’s always like “whaaa?”
Post # 11
OH AND… lol (sorry) if your put in an awkward position… you can also take a small sip / just wet your lips… as you just got your BFP your probably only 4+ weeks along (if your a charter and got BFP after TWW) so just as an FYI having a little sip will not affect your baby…. you dont share your blood stream with them until 6-8 weeks when the placenta starts forming, until then the baby is living on a yolk sac!
Post # 12
Don’t worry about it! That’s too funny, and I don’t think it’ll be too long before you are laughing about this one. Good luck playing it off with the in laws!
Post # 13
Pregnancybrain: lol oh dear, that sucks! Kinda backs you into a corner if you’re not ready. I say tell when you’re ready. I’ll likely tell a few people right away because of something happens, I’d need the support. But if you’re not ready, I agree with the PP’s who said to pull the server aside of you’re at a restaurant, or accept a drink and “sip” on it if you’re at a house party. Or bring a water-filled vodka bottle and have a “Caesar/bloody mary” 😉 congrats on your BFP!!!