Let me start this post by saying…I am NOT suspicious of my love, his actions or his intentions, I’m just an overly anxious girl.
My love & I have been together for 2+ years, living together for 7+ months. When we started the “let’s move in” talk I was overly open with my life plan and expectations…I said when we move in, he has a year to decide if he wants to marry me or not. By now you’ve done the math and figured that he has 5 months left on the clock.
We are going to Ireland next month (10 days going through Ireland, N. Ireland & Scotland). Obviously that’s the idea setting for a proposal. About 4 months ago he started getting…”weird” see also; agitated, jumpy, working insane hours, etc. I figured he was saving as much as possible for “the ring” and that’s what it had to be. The other day his laptop was open on the desk in our living room, walking by it I happen to notice an email titled “Cliffs of Moher” and thought it was strange as I had spent months planning every step of our trip, his only real request was that we visit St. James Gate (ie: Guinness). You can guess where this is going…I uncovered his proposal plan. I feel absolutely horrible. I have no intention of telling him (I believe admitting something like this to release my own guilt will only cause him pain & frustration…which I would never want to do) but I’d appreciate hearing some silimar stories and just being reassured that I’m not the worlds worst girlfriend as that’s how I currently feel.
Welcome to the hive!
You are NOT the world’s worst girlfriend and when it comes it’ll be fantastic and you’ll forget you even felt like this.
I hope you have a really wonderful time in Ireland and the UK, you must tell us all about it when you’re back
I just figured my boyfriend’s plan out too. He knows I know, but he may still do it and I’m okay with that! It’s what I’ve always wanted, so if he wants to change it that’s fine and if not that’s fine too!
Relax! You’re not a horrible person
Just go with the flow and enjoy the moment-worrying about it is only going to affect your experience. Oh, and Congratulations!
You are definitely not the worlds worst girlfriend! I don’t think many of us would have had the willpower to not have looked at that website/email. Its just too hard not to snoop when it comes to engagments Don’t fret. Your engagement will still be SO exciting, and you will love every second of it. Relax and breathe, at least you now know its coming. Good luck!
if you are the world’s worst girlfriend, I guess I’m there with you! Last week I was getting anxious about the proposal, we went ring shopping back in October and have been wondering when it will happen, so I went on his phone and checked his email to see of he had evem ordered the ring.. I’ve never done anything like that! I couldn’t believe myself. These things seem to make even the most sane people crazy!
When we were at the begining of our trip in which we got engaged I had such a strong suspicion it might happen during the trip that I was afraid if I was wrong I would be upset, so so while he was in the shower I checked his bag really quickly and stuffed inside a shoe I saw a little ring box (didnt look inside).
I felt so guilty for doing so afetrward, but it put my fears/anxiety to rest and let me enjoy the trip so I dont regret doing it.
I am sure it will be the same for you.
And dont worry, regardless of what you saw you wont be able to help but be over the moon when it does happen, trust me! It will not make it any less special.
I echo everyone else that you are definitely not the worst girlfriend ever. You are human!
That being said, I also uncovered my fiance’s proposal plan. We had picked out the ring together, and he forwarded me the e-mail from the jeweler saying the ring was in. He forgot to delete the stuff below which was a conversation between him and the jeweler, telling the jeweler the date in which he wanted to propose.
I felt so bad for him, because I knew how much the “surprise” element meant to him. But at the same time,,.I knew I would be bad at faking my surprise now that I knew. I told him I saw the text in his forwarded email, and I think that actually helped us set mutual expectations for the engagement. He was upset with himself, but he was so appreciative that I pointed it out to him and I acted extra excited (although not surprised) at the engagement. However, every couple is different, so if you think it will go better to fake it, I’m sure it will work out great. Congratulations to you on your upcoming engagement!
Hey! You are not terrible! I just wanted to add that you should take what you found lightly. It could be raining or he may change his mind on when/where he would like to do it on your trip so relax and have a wonderful time!
First off, the Cliffs of Moher are gorgeous! And you might want to wear your hair up because it is WINDY there. Don’t feel bad about it, just act blissfully ignorant and enjoy your trip!
Be excited! The Cliffs of Moher are BEAUTIFUL and the PERFECT place for a proposal, but like PP said, it is WINDY as hell there, so wear a windbreaker! Beautiful place to get engaged! Congrats!
Even if you know it’s coming, the actual proposal still has a way of being the best kind of surprise. I wouldn’t worry about it.
Don’t worry! I basically figured out my FI’s proposal plan but when it came to it, the things he said, the location, seeing the ring.. I just burst into tears! It was perfect!!
Yay at an Irish proposal! We went there too recently, but we got engaged in Iceland the week before that.
Anyway, you’re way more cluey than I am!
Fiancé insisted on taking me to a jewellery shop and basically forced me to buy a necklace (admittedly it didn’t take much forcing), and kept on asking the assistant to show him rings that would match. I was like “why would I want a ring? I don’t wear rings.”
Before that he’d also insisted on booking a night at an expensive Art Deco hotel for the proposal (knowing I love deco – though he later changed his mind and it ended up being the night before that,next to a lake), and yet I still didn’t realise!
To be fair, we’d only ever talked about marriage one week into our relationship, when he said he didn’t want to get married again, so it wasn’t something that I thought was going to happen.
The Cliffs are lovely! But do be careful as well: March is a rough month weatherwise, and as PPs have said it’s REALLY windy, so don’t go too close to the edge! Afterwards, I recommend having a celebratory pint in Gus O’Connor’s pub in Doolin, which is nearby – lovely place, and there’s usually music.