Post # 1
Hello ladies – I am hoping you can help me again assess if i am being a total be-otch about a situation. I appreciate your honest/direct feedback!!
Did you accommodate food allergies at your reception? Did you make mention of this on the invitations and if so, how far did you go to accommodate?
My situation is that within immediate family we have one member who is allergic to pepper, chicken and soy. Another is a picky eater and allergic to those things in addition to glutten and dairy. He basically eats steak and a plain potato at every meal.
How far did you go to accommodate each of your guests needs?
I am serving a buffet style meal including options for vegetarians.
Post # 3
I did not mention food allergies on the RSVP. However, I was aware that two of my guests have gluten allergies. I then told the coordinator at our reception venue and she had the kitchen prepare meals for them. No biggie!
Post # 4
i didn’t mention food allergies on the rsvp, but did put a note on the website. i already know which of my friends have food allergies though (gluten) and which are vegan. my caterer had no problem providing a few different meals for them (they’re even cheaper than the other meals).
maybe your caterer could put together a plated dinner for them? what are your buffet options?
Post # 5
I will be accommodating food allergies. The main reason is because my FMIL cannot have gluten because of her Celiac’s. So, I understand how hard it is for her to even go out and enjoy a meal these days. It’s taught me to take others into consideration.
ETA: My grandmother has a special diet as well that I have to keep in mind.
Post # 6
I’m not mentioning it on the RSVP or anything, but like some of the previous posters, I’ll be accomodating the friends and family I know that have gluten allergies or eat vegan. To warn you about food allergies, it doesn’t matter if you have separate options, it is AMAZING how much food contains gluten, and it is a really terrible allergy. My sister has a gluten allergy, and if there is even a tiny bit of gluten in her food (like say a stir fry has used soy sauce, which contains gluten) she gets really sick. While I say picky eaters yeah, fend for yourselves, but food allergies are tough and so I’ll be making sure that they’re set.
Post # 7
I am very sensitive to food allergy issues, as I have several family members with extremely severe allergies (epi-pen carriers). On our RSVPs we put a spot for dietary restrictions. I was actually aware of all but one person’s restrictions before the wedding. We accomodated by not serving meals with the severe allergy ingredients (seafood, nuts, peanuts), and offering more than one option (beef, chicken and vegetarian). This worked out really well for us, and ensured we had no medical emergency/uncomfortable guests!
Post # 8
We didn’t do any of these and served a stock meal with everyone, but after the wedding I got diagnosed with a condition that severely limits my diet so now I’m a lot more sensitive about these things. I literally can’t eat out anymore because of fear of what secret ingredients there may be in the food that will make me miserable for days. I would probably starve at a wedding and therefore may even have to skip the reception. I understand this is my problem and noone has to accommodate for me, but if the ingredients were listed or someone served a special food for me, they would probably be in my “favorite people” list for life. I’m now eternally grateful for such kindnesses.
Post # 9
Unless my immediate family has some crazy allergy, I’m not adjusting my menue for anyone. If someone is that allergic to certain food they should know what to look for. I figure they will bring their own supplements (depending on the allergy) or go out to dinner afterwards. That may be mean, but I really don’t want to think about what other guests may or may not eat. I am willing to accomodate them if they come to me beforehand, but I’m not asking 🙂
Post # 10
I put at the bottom of our RSVP cards and on the website, “If you have dietary restrictions, please contact DDW at <email>”
We asked our caterer about this at our tasting, because one of my best friends is allergic to gluten, corn (and all corn derivatives), tomatoes and onions. And she’s sensitive to lactose. She wasn’t able to attend the wedding, but I’m used to cooking for her, and wanted to be sensitive to the needs of our guests. Our caterer was used to working around allergies (I imagine any professional caterer is!) and told us we could custom order as many meals as necessary for allergy reasons – we just needed to tell them the allergies and the chef would make a meal for that person.
ETA: Corn is an increasingly common allergy, and one that not a lot of people know about. Gluten is well known and there are tons of gluten free alternatives, but it’s very difficult to find any kind of sauce on anything without corn starch in it, and almost all gluten alternatives are corn based.
Obviously it’s your choice to let your guests fend for themselves, but remember that their allergies are not their choice! You invited these people because you care about them. 🙂
Post # 11
We served our dinner buffet style and there were TONS of options. Several members of our wedding party are vegan or vegetarian and we made sure there was one main dish that accommodated this. We made no mention of it on the RSVP.
Post # 12
We didn’t really ask, but we had a few people who made notes on the RSVP cards about allergies.
We had a buffet, so we just sent a list of the issues to the venue and they advised them which dishes to stay away from, and I forwarded to info along.
Post # 13
We have two guests who are allergic to peanuts and one allergic to nuts, so we just asked our caterer not to use them. I’m vegetarian, so we’re having lots of veggie options. My one problem is that I recently realized one couple is vegan, and all but one of my veggie foods include cheese! (Apparently I like cheese.) So now I feel like I have to figure something out for them.
For your situation, I think that including notes with all the ingredients would be very thoughtful.
p.s. I’m not mentioning food on the invites, but here’s what I put on our wedsite:
“Our wedding will be nut- and peanut-free, with lots of vegetarian-friendly food (and some vegetarian-hostile food, too). Both alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks will be available.”
Post # 14
If I know about a person’s allergy/religious beliefs, I will make sure to mention to a cater and work out something for them, but if I don’t know, I’m not going to list what is in every dish. Just what the dish itself actually is.
@mightywombat: I like what you wrote on your website. Gets the point across, but with a touch of light-hearted humor.
Post # 15
My sister’s boyfriend has life threatening food allergies to eggs, dairy, and nuts. We talked about it, and even if I got the caterer to design a special plate for him, he would be too nervous about cross contamination to eat the food anyway. We’re just going to make sure the caterer and staff are cool with the fact that he’s going to bring his own food. I would hope that if anyone was that allergic to food they would bring it up to me or my fiance before our wedding.
Post # 16
we had a sit down meal that people had already chosen on the rsvp (beef, fish, or veggie), and when i gave our caterer the list of people and table assignments, i also listed any allergies or restrictions that i knew of (ie, vegan, gluten-free, kosher, peanut allergies, etc).