Post # 1
DH and I are taking a trip in December/January. The first part, we’re going to India for the wedding of one of my bridesmaids in which I’m also a bridesmaid. That portion of the trip is almost entirely paid for except for the flights – all our hotels and transportations within India are taken care of.
After India we’re going to London. DH has never left Canada so this is a BIG trip for him. We’re currently trying to figure out where to stay in London. Anyone who has been knows that staying in the core is expensive and we’ve been looking at AirBnB and budget hotels.
My dad kindly reached out to one of his good friends who lives in London and asked for recommendations for places for us to stay. My dad’s friend (Who I don’t know) has generously offered to let us stay with him. This obviously has its perks. It would save us $750+ which would mean we have much more money to spend on the things we want to do while we’re in London (it’s 5 days/nights).
I haven’t discussed this with DH yet, I’m not sure what his opinion will be, I’m not sure what MY opinion is yet and I’m hoping for some advice.
Would you thank dad’s friend for the offer and politely decline and suggest meeting for coffee or lunch (or something)
Would you thank dad’s friend and not see him at all?
Would you take him up on the offer and stay 5 nights?
Post # 2
Ultimately, this is between you and your DH. If you are comfortable, by all means stay with him. Otherwise, I’d meet him for lunch (to be nice) and stay in a hotel.
Post # 3
loudsilence99: With this type of thing, I need to get my head around it before I bring it to DH. If I just bring it up with no terms of reference or knowing what I think about it the conversation goes nowhere. I obviously don’t want to try and make DH do something he’s not comfortable with.
I just figured I’d see what everyone else would do – I find that knowing the opinion of others helps me clarify my own thoughts (not that I always agree with the opinion of others – it just helps me figure out what I think if that makes sense)
Post # 4
I don’t think I could stay with someone i’ve never met before, even if they were friends with one of my parents. That just seems really weird to me – but I’m a very cautious person and I never do anything “wild”.
Post # 5
I would be uncomfortable staying with someone I did not know and imposing on them. I’d prefer to have my own space to feel free to come and go as I please and not having to tip toe around anyone or feel obligated to alter my schedule to spend time wiht or accomoate them since it it their place. To me, that is not worth the savings. I’d be ok with staying with my or dh’s family or friends, but not a stranger not knowing how the dynamics would play out. It could potentially make for a uncomfortable 5 days if it didn’t work out.
Post # 6
MsGinkgo: I definitely wouldn’t be comfortable with this – especially since you’ve never met him.I would definitely go with the hotel.
Post # 7
The saying is “Guests, like fish, stink after 3 days”. I’d find a lame excuse to spend 2-3 nights somewhere else (maybe you can find a hostel with a private room in your budget), then pass the rest of the time at your friend’s house to save money.
I dislike staying at a friend’s house and not being able to come and go as you please, finding host gifts, the who-pays-for-dinner awkwardness.
Post # 8
Having done a lot of couch surf type travel, staying with someone like that has it’s perks, and it’s down sides.
It’s nice having someone who knows where the cool things are where you are visiting, great local resteraunts and hidden gems
It’s most likely going to be nicer and more comfortable than a hotel
You are going to be on your hosts schedule to a certain extent. You won’t want to stay out late, and will likely feel bad for sleeping in if they work.
Your host might intrude on your vactaion.
Lack of privacy for you and your husband.
The last one is what gets me now. It was great when I was single to stay with people, even friends of friends. I wouldn’t do it travling now with my husband. We value our space too much.
Post # 9
weatherbug: I just realized, I have met him a couple of times. He’s one of my dad’s law school buddies (I was 6 when he graduated) and I’ve seen most of them every now and then at functions at my dad’s house. I’m 90% certain I saw this guy at Christmas 2 years ago so he’s not a COMPLETE stranger, but I know what you’re saying.
canadajane: I don’t think there’d be awkwardness in that way. DH and I really aren’t planning on being at our accomodations much at all and will be out for lunch and dinner – we really just need a bed and a shower. I was toying with the idea of a couple free nights and spending a little more on a nice hotel for a night or 2.
Misswhowedding: the only thing I wonder about is the privacy, I know we’d have a room (we wouldn’t be in his living room or anything like that) but it might be nice to be completely alone. I just really love saving money.
Everyone is making really good points – I appreciate all of the feedback, you’re making me really think about this! My gut is always to take the free room which is why I asked 🙂
Post # 10
I wouldn’t feel comfortable with this arrangement and would much prefer a hotel.
I’d thank him for being so gracious and take him to lunch or a coffee to show appreciation. Ask him advice about what to do and see in the area.
I wouldn’t want him to feel snubbed, but I like my space and I LOOOVE hotels.
Post # 11
KC-2722: DH works in the hotel industry, he most definitely does not LOVE hotels. In fact he’s so incredibly picky about them it makes finding one to stay at daunting.
Post # 12
find out the accommodations first…where in London is he located, will you have your own bedroom and bathroom? who else will be there: kids, wide, girlfriend, etc. that was very nice of him to offer…and I’m all for a bargain!! I just might take him up on it if I were you. Or at least for two or three days. Then the other days you can get a nice hotel that DH approves of.
Post # 13
MsGinkgo: Something else I just thought of – does he have a family? I feel like I would feel less awkward if he had a wife + kids, than if it was just a single man you were staying with. That’s something to also take into consideration.
Post # 14
MsGinkgo: If you were going with AirBNB, often times you’re renting a room in someone’s home rather than a whole apartment. What’s different in this situation is that your parents have already vetted the people you’re staying with.
I think it would be fun to stay with them, they can give you a lot of local knowledge and advice.
Post # 15
MsGinkgo: I would stay with your Dad’s friend. He’s not a total stranger. Your Dad would not have reached out to him for help if he didnt trust his judgement. As a pp said though, in order not to wear out your welcome, I would plan to stay there only 2-3 nights, then move to other accomodation.
I would book something refundable now for the last 2- 3 nights. Who knows? Maybe this man has a gorgeous place that is more than big enough for company?